Fan Fic and More

Posted: **Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:01 am**

I had to go to another board and find this....and read up a few chapters. I am really amazed by your writing talent! You really have me hooked!! <div style="text-align:center"> When I am out there, in time, I am inverted, changed into a desperate version of myself.</div> <div style="text-align:center"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/ ... forme2.bmp" style="border:0;"/></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrea ... D=50.topic" target="top">Second Chances - Nominated for Roswell AU</a></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrealmfrm71" target="top">More Info Here</a></div>

Posted: **Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:01 am**

No way...you can't stop there. I need more. What's going to happen next. Ava! Cool...now what <center><a href=http://pub84.ezboard.com/bmajiklmoonsrealm><img src=http://www.majiklmoon.com/ezboardsmilie ... a></center>

Posted: **Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:24 am**

Part 9 - Circle - Max POV  There are two of talking in circles And one of us who wants to leave In a world created for only us An empty cage that has no key. Don’t you know that we’re working with flesh and blood Carving out of jealousy, Crawling into each other It’s smothering every little part of me. What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on Despite everything its doing to me? What is this love that keeps me coming back for more When it will only end in misery? I know too many people unhappy In a life from which they’d love to flee. Watching others get everything offered They’re wanton for discovery. Oh my brother, my sister, my mother You’re losing your identity. Can’t you see that it’s you in the window Shining with intensity? What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on Despite everything its doing to me? What is this love that keeps me coming back for more When it will only end in misery? Sarah McLachlan We go to pick up Isabel and call the Sheriff, once I finally manage to pull myself together. I am still in a state of complete disbelief that Tess could have gotten the best of us again so completely. She is supposed to be gone! We saw her blast off ourselves. As usual, none of this makes any sense. Why is she back? And what does this mean for my son? Has he been born already? Or is Michael right after all. Did he ever even exist? The sheriff and Kyle are both out driving the streets of Roswell, just as we are, searching for any sign of my lunatic former wife, or Liz. Maria is with the sheriff, and Michael with Kyle. It seems wisest that no one confront Tess alone, if they should stumble across her. She is strong - even stronger than I realized when I finally found out the truth about her betrayal. That she could have so easily mindwarped Michael, Maria and me,  and take Liz without even any semblance of a struggle - it is damn frightening. It is scaring the hell out of me actually. Liz is in great danger, and we have absolutely no idea where to even start to look for her. Izzy is in the back-seat of my parents’ car, while I am at the wheel. She has a picture of Liz on her lap, and is trying to dreamwalk her as I drive around town in circles. She is having absolutely no luck. "Where would she take her? Why would she take her? Why is she even here? Hasn’t she done enough?" These were Maria’s words once she and Michael got over the first shock of my accusation that it was Tess who was responsible. The words are now winding their way through my brain as I listen to the soft sound of my sister’s breathing from the back-seat. She is in a deep trance now. I know that she will not give up, but it seems hopeless. I have no answers. Only a deep, bone-chilling awareness that we are at a turning point - again. That if I take the wrong path this time, there will be no going back, there will be no last minute reprieve like there was when we found out the truth about Tess. This knowledge stems from one fact. I can’t feel Liz at all anymore. There is like a deep void in my consciousness where she has always existed, even when we are apart. Ever since I saved her in the Crashdown that day, I have always felt her. I know when she is safe and when she isn’t. I know when she is hurting and when she is happy. It has become such a part of my own make-up, that it wasn’t until it was gone that I even realized it was there - her presence - like a flame, drawing me to her, burning brightly, keeping us connected. Even over the past few weeks, when things were so bad between us, she burned within me. Now she is just gone. Completely. Like a candle snuffed out. And so it is an even greater shock when she is suddenly there again, like a match being lit. No, that’s too small. More like a small nuclear explosion ripping through my mind. " Max! Help me! Max!" Liz’s voice is panicked, desperate, terrified. And then it is gone, like it was never there at all. I jerk the wheel to the left, sending the car careening for the sidewalk on the main drag of Roswell. I half hear Isabel shriek as she is physically thrown onto the floor in the back-seat. I slam on the brakes, breathing heavily as the car rolls to an abrupt halt. "Max! What the hell are you doing?" Isabel screams, opening the back door and tumbling out onto the pavement. I ignore her. I just continue to sit behind the wheel, staring out the windshield, calling for her with every fibre of my being.  LIZ!!!! Liz, where are you? Help me to find you! LIZ!? There is nothing but the void. Isabel is shaking me now. "Max! What is it? What’s wrong?" "Liz…she’s calling for me." I bring my face down into my hands. The emptiness - I can’t bear it. I know right now that she’s still alive, but without the connection, will I even know if Tess hurts her, if Tess snuffs out the flame permanently? "Like when you were in New York?" Isabel asks, sounding excited. "Sort of," I reply, looking up at her, still feeling totally bereft. "That time I saw her, this time I heard her." Isabel is frowning slightly. "And you can’t answer her?" "She’s gone again." "Try again. This time with me helping you," Isabel says, her eyes bright with hope. "She needed me last time. Her fear might have given her the strength to reach you once, but that was it. She needs help." A tiny flicker of hope. It is enough. I take my sister’s hand. She is kneeling on the pavement outside the driver’s side door, the picture of Liz smoothed out in front of her. She has one hand on Liz’s face, one in mine. As Isabel closes her eyes, she instructs me. "Call to her. Don’t let any doubt come into it, Max. You need to believe that you can do this." I close my eyes, reaching out with all my senses. I connect almost instantly with my sister, who is linked physically to me through our hands. I can feel her waiting to join her strength to mine, waiting to use her gift to help me enter Liz’s mind. It seems to take forever. I can feel my will fading, can feel my belief that this will work wilting, when suddenly it feels like I am falling… And I am in. She is sitting right in front of me, staring at something - or someone - unseen beyond me. Her eyes are looking right through me for a split second, before I see them dilate and focus on my face. The first thing I notice is that, while Liz is still afraid, she is no longer petrified with fear. I can feel her natural curiosity overtaking the fright that is within her. I can also feel her shock. She is deeply troubled and confused by something. "Max," she says, not at all surprised to see me. "You found me. Come and get me, my love. It is not too late for us." "Liz, where are you?" All I can see around her is sky - dark and starry and cold. The V constellation is behind her, pointing down, as though to lead me to her. "I am in the usual place," she replies. "Where the pieces are dropped and picked up again. The place of answers - wrong and right. The place where paths are chosen and discarded." And with that cryptic statement, she is gone. I open my eyes. Isabel is staring at me, back from the dream plain. "Where is she, Max?" My sister knows that the connection was made, but didn’t see any of it would seem. I frown slightly. Why was Liz speaking in riddles? But her meaning was clear. The minute she spoke, I recognized the rock formation that was appearing out of the dark behind her. "She’s at the pod chamber," I reply. "Why though? There’s nothing there anymore. The granolith destroyed the entire thing when it took off. Why would Tess take her there?" Isabel looks as confused as I feel. "I have no idea. Do you think it’s a trap, Max?" "It could be," I reply pensively. "But I don’t think so. We’ll call the others. They can meet us there." I watch Isabel hurry around the car to get in beside me. I am about to shut my door and put the car back into gear when the headlights pick up a pair of legs further down the sidewalk. They are walking towards us, and the figure melts into the recognizable form of Sean Deluca. Great. Just what I need. Liz’s knight in tarnished armour. He saunters over to my side of the car, sneering down at me. "Evans. I hope you’re not here to harass Parker again. Because if you are…" He trails off, his tone threatening. It brings my back up. I admit it. Mainly because I know that he has gotten to Liz, has interested her, has connected with her on a level unlike any other guy since…well, since me. "Do you see Liz?" I snap back, annoyed despite all attempts not to be. This guy doesn’t know the first thing about my relationship with Liz, but every time I encounter him, I feel like he is weighing me, judging me, waiting for me to do…I don’t know what he’s waiting for actually. Probably for me to screw up, which even I admit I am very good at. And, yet, it is beginning to drive me crazy. Because while I definitely am not good enough for Liz, this guy isn’t either. The fact that he is the complete opposite of me, personality-wise, should make me feel better - like Liz couldn’t even try and replace me. But, actually, it makes it worse - more like she has been trying to get as far away as possible from anything that reminds her of me, including other guys. "I know that you did  something to her again," Sean replies. "And I’m telling you, stay away from her. For your own good." I watch in amazement as he puts his hand down on my fore-arm, which is resting on the open window frame of the car door. A strange energy seems to be building between us. It is intoxicating, yet frightening. And not only that - it also reminds me of something that I have experienced before. "Max, let’s just go," Isabel says impatiently. She seems unaware that anything is wrong. But I am totally aware that  everything is wrong. It’s like I am suddenly tuned into everything around me, and yet like I am being ripped away at the same time. It is the last thought of which I am aware before I pass out.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:16 pm**

Part 10 - The Path of Thorns (Terms) - Liz POV  I knew you wanted to tell me. In your voice there was something wrong. But if you would turn your face away from me You cannot tell me you’re so strong. Just let me ask of you one small thing As we have shared so many tears. With fervor our dreams we planned a whole lifelong Now are scattered on the wind. In the terms of endearment. In the terms of the life that you love. In the terms of the years that you pass you by. In the terms of the reasons why. Through the years I’ve grown to love you, Though your commitment to most would offend. But I stuck by you holding on with my foolish pride, Waiting for you to give in. You never really tried or it seems now I’ve had much more myself to blame. I’ve had enough of trying everything And this time it is the end. In the terms of endearment. In the terms of the life you love. In the terms of the years that pass you by. In the terms of the reasons why. There’s no more coming back this way The path is overgrown and strewn with thorns. They’ve torn the lifeblood from your naked eyes Cast aside to be forlorn. In the terms of endearment. In the terms of the life that you love. In the terms of the years that pass you by. In the terms of the reasons why. Funny how it seems That all I’ve tried to do, Seemed to make no difference to you At all. Sarah McLachlan I am still staring at the woman before me in complete shock, but I am no longer scared. It’s because I believe her. I am even beginning to see the small differences that existed between Ava and Tess in her face as I continue to stare at her. The pierced lip is gone, as is the funky hairdo, but she still has about twelve earrings in her ear. And it’s not just physically that I begin to recognize her. There is something in those blue eyes - something innocent, even despite the fact that she is almost a middle-aged woman - that reassures me that she is telling me the truth. This is Ava, the girl who, for a very short time, was my friend. This is  not Tess, my greatest enemy, the murderer of my best friend. What this means is only beginning to dawn on me. She has just told me that the infamous Serena, the one who I have half been looking for every time I meet someone new, is my daughter. I had half begun to assume and accept that, because I had changed the timeline so drastically by getting Max and Tess together, I was never destined to meet Serena in this life. I realize now that I was disappointed by this fact. Just the sound of her name on Future Max’s lips in that brief comment had intrigued me. And now I know why. She is my child. My child with Max. Which means that something has to seriously change in the next few days if she is ever going to be born, because as things stand between Max and me now, there is little to no chance that she ever will be. "Ava." I say it tentatively, try it out. "You’re really Ava." She is eyeing me closely too. We are still standing on the desert floor, below the cliff where the granolith had been sheltered. "It’s me." She pauses, suddenly smiles shyly. "I guess I don’t blame you for mistaking me for her. I’ve changed a lot." "A lot," I repeat. And she has. It’s not just in the way she looks. It’s in the way she carries herself. Ava had a basic street sense to her when I knew her, but underneath she had been a scared young girl, uneducated and completely dependent on her fellow dupes. She was devastated by Zan’s murder, and had only managed to finally take a stand against Lonnie and Rath when they no longer needed her, when they had Tess and Max in their power. This Ava’s bearing screams confidence in who she is. She also gives off a keen sense of desperation, one that I am determined I am going to get to the bottom of. This time, I am going to be the one in control. I let Future Max run the show when he showed up last fall. That ended in complete disaster. I am not going to let anyone from the future tell me what to do this time. "Why are you here?" I ask quietly. "Something has gone horribly wrong," Ava tells me, just as quietly. It’s like we’re both suddenly aware of the complete wrongness of this whole situation. She is not supposed to be here - just like Future Max was not supposed to have come. Just by her being here, we are fooling around with forces completely beyond our comprehension. We are changing the entire future - again. "She’s dying." I feel my stomach clench, because I know exactly who she means. "Serena?" Ava swallows, then nods. "Our future is dying. Liz, we can’t win without her. Something has clearly gone wrong between you and Max that wasn’t supposed to. She hasn’t been conceived. She is fading from our timeline. The only thing that is holding her there at all is the granolith." I feel my knees getting weak. The meaning of all this is beginning to weigh down upon me. I am supposed to have a child with Max - which means that Max and I…somehow we were supposed to be at the point where we will be close enough to create a new life. Ha. It is not the least bit funny, and yet I find it strangely the most ludicrously hysterical idea I have ever heard. "How? How did this happen?" Ava is asking me gently. "You need to tell me. What is going on with you two?" "Alex is dead," I blurt, not wanting to tell her the real reason, that Max and Tess were the ones with a child on the way in this timeline. "Yes." She looks sad. "He died in our timeline too. It was why Max took Tess away. It’s why they found me, to complete the Four Square." My throat is closing up with grief again. I try to speak, try to tell her, but I cannot get the words out. "Tess…is gone here too. She and Max…" It is then that I collapse completely. My knees do give out on me, and I am sprawling on the desert floor, my arms wrapped around my middle, trying to hold in the pain, trying to ignore that all my dreams, all my love for Max has been wasted. He is not mine, never can be again. He belongs to her. I have not cried once since I found out the truth of the matter between Max and Tess. I remember feeling complete shock when he told me, but that part of me that had to accept that she was having  my child, had not really processed it. Maybe I knew deep down that it was all wrong, all mixed up, that I was the one supposed to have the baby. My daughter will never be born because of her. I realize that Ava is kneeling beside me. She pulls me into her arms, stroking my hair. "Liz, I am so sorry. I didn’t know that you don’t know yet." She is gradually soothing me. I can feel my heartbeat slowing down as I allow myself to be comforted. Her words are not really penetrating my brain, but I am seemingly entering a state of semi-detachment. Nothing matters anymore. It is all messed up and there is no way to fix it. It is in that instant that I see Max. I can see him right in front of me, his dark eyes loving, but sad. "I’m coming for you, Liz. I swear I’ll be back with you soon." And the he fades away right in front of my eyes. I pull back from Ava, staring at the spot where Max just stood. It was like a vision of the future, or maybe even an echo from the past, like when Max saw a vision of he and I getting married in Las Vegas. I remember the day in the Crashdown when Max told me the exact same thing.  I’m coming for you Liz. I believed him then and I believe him now. Maybe we can fix this after all. Ava is here and she has information about what is supposed to be. Clearly, somewhere, the future has gone off the rails. We just needed to figure out where and why. I grasp her hand. I feel the calluses from all the years of war she has endured. "Tell me. Tell me what I need to know." She pushes a strand of hair away from my face, an entirely motherly gesture. "Are you sure you want to know?" "I need to know," I reply firmly. "She can’t win." Ava smiles. "That’s why I’m here. So she won’t." She tells me what I need to do. ***  Another Time, Another Life - January 2001 Liz Parker set the order down in front of the couple. "Okay, um, we have Saturn Rings and a Galaxy Sub, hold the Max." She gasped with embarrassment when she realized what she had just said. Liz’s best friend Maria, standing nearby, stared at Liz, then smirked in amusement. She tilted her head, indicating that she wanted to talk to Liz. Liz sighed heavily. "Okay, I’ll be right back with the Cokes." She felt Maria grab her by the arm, hauling her over to the counter. "Okay, what just happened?" Maria demanded, still sounding like she was about to burst into giggles. Liz could feel her heart still beating at about a mile a minute. "I need help! I’m sick!" Maria just raised her eyebrows. "Okay, I am  obsessed!" Maria looked knowing. "Okay, is this a general freak out or should I be concerned?" She didn’t sound the least bit concerned however, just pleased. "No, I have Max on my brain twenty-four hours a day. I dream about him, I think about him, and now I’m saying his frigging name without even realizing it! What am I going to do?" Liz knew that she sounded totally panicked, but it was how she felt. Like she was gradually losing all control of her life, of her sanity. She knew that she couldn’t be with Max - had known it ever since she had heard that message from his mother in the pod chamber last May. This fact had only been confirmed by Future Max’s visit in October, when he told her that she had to get Max to fall out of love with her or the world would end. He was destined to be with Tess, his once and future bride, because if she left Roswell, the entire world would end. And, so, she had done everything in her power to turn him away from her. She pretended to sleep with Kyle, she let Max go on believing that she had. She hurt him so much that he had almost completely shut her out of his life, even going so far as to tell her that he no longer trusted her. It had hurt like hell, all of it, but she did it. But everything had completely reversed itself again since Isabel helped her to connect with Max when he was in New York. She had saved his life then and, since it had happened, they had started to become friends again. She had helped him deal with all that stuff at Christmas, which had resulted in him telling her on Christmas Eve that he believed in her. He believed in her, whatever the heck that meant. That simple statement had started her dreams again, and had made her wonder if maybe they could have a second chance. Tess didn’t seem to be going anywhere, after all. In fact, Liz had seen her in the Crashdown just that morning with Kyle, looking entirely unlike someone who cared one way or the other if she and Max ever got together. True, Kyle was flipping out about something, but they were so comfortable around each other, some spark existing without question…something was going on there. Something beyond friends. So, if Tess wasn’t going anywhere…Didn’t that mean that maybe she could finally tell Max the truth? Liz realized that Maria was still talking to her. "You’re in love - that’s all!" Liz sighed again. "I know. But it’s not getting me anywhere." And it wasn’t. Max could believe in her all he wanted, but he still thought she had slept with Kyle. He still thought that she had betrayed him in the worst way possible. "Okay, relax. Relax, Liz," Maria replied. "Its not that bad! I promise." Liz snorted. "Not that bad? Really. Why don’t you look at this?" Liz pulled the two pictures she kept in her apron pocket out and thrust them towards her best friend. They were both of Max, of course. "See! Obsession, obsession, obsession, obsession!" Maria laughed. "Okay, okay! You’re a Maxaholic! I’m here for you. What can I do?" Liz just rolled her eyes. She knew that all this pining was never going to get her anywhere. She  had to move on. "Get me a life," she muttered. The bell over the door behind them rang, alerting the two girls to the fact that someone had just entered the restaurant. Liz didn’t turn immediately, because Maria grabbed her by the arm when the bell rang. "Ow! Maria, what are you doing?" Liz exclaimed. "Liz, I know you believe in fate. I know it. Well, fate has just walked through that door." Liz blinked. She started to turn around. " No!" Maria grabbed her again, this time by the shoulders. Liz felt the pictures she still held in her hands fall to the floor. "Do not turn around unless you are actually going to do what you should have done a  long time ago." Liz just stared at her. "Maria, what on Earth are you talking about?" "It’s Max. He is standing in the doorway right now, and I can tell that he wants to come over here. You are going to tell him the truth. Tess is not going anywhere. You saw her and Kyle this morning. Tell him, Liz. Put the poor guy out of his misery. Put  yourself out of your misery. You belong together." Liz gasped in horror when Maria suddenly yelled over her shoulder. "Max! Come here, we need to talk to you!" "Maria!" "Liz, just do it!" Liz could already feel the hairs on the back of her neck beginning to stand on end, completely aware of Max’s presence as he came up behind her. The sound of his voice actually made her go weak in the knees. "Hi, guys. What’s going on?" Liz whirled. She realized that Maria was already walking away from them, muttering something about customers.  She’s deserting me! Liz thought frantically.  How can she start this and then just desert me? Liz’s eyes met Max’s. He was smiling at her in that way that always made her heart want to burst out of her chest. It was half-shy, half-loving. It was the smile she had not seen since before he had seen her with Kyle. It was a smile that told her that he had forgiven her, even though he still thought she had betrayed him. Telling him now wouldn’t hurt anything. But she had been keeping this a secret for so long. How could she be sure that it still couldn’t totally screw everything up? It was in that instant that she saw Max’s eyes lower. He frowned slightly, then bent down and picked up one of the pictures that had fallen to the floor. He stared at it for a full minute before he raised his eyes to look at her again. "Liz?" Liz felt the blood rushing to her face. "Oh." She grabbed the picture out of his hand, stuffing it back into her apron. "Maria and I…we’re making something for your birthday," she improvised lamely. She tried to ignore the hope that was appearing blatantly on his beloved face. "Liz, my birthday is in March," Max told her, although of course she knew that. "What’s going on?" he asked again. "What are you doing here?" Liz blurted out instead of answering him. She was surprised when she saw colour beginning to rise in Max’s face too. She loved how his ears always turned slightly pink when he was embarrassed. "Er, well, it’s kind of a long story," he replied. "Um, Isabel was bored last night…" He coughed. "She…well, she dreamwalked you." Liz blinked. "She did?" She felt panic rising within her as Max’s words absorbed. What had Isabel seen? Did Max know the truth? Did he know about Future Max and that what had happened with Kyle wasn’t real? "Yeah." Max grabbed her by the hand. Liz felt her heartbeat begin to slow. Just touching him was enough to calm her down. Well, if not calm her, at least make her heart beat in an entirely different way, she amended silently to herself. "Don’t be mad. I swear I told her not to, Liz." He paused. "I need to talk to you." He looked around the busy restaurant uncomfortably. "Alone," he added, unnecessarily. Liz closed her eyes briefly. It looked like Maria was right. Fate was stepping in. She was no longer going to fight it. She and Max had been on a collision course back towards each other for weeks. It was time to deal with it head on. She was going to tell him. The feeling of relief that flooded through her as she accepted it caused her to stumble slightly. Max caught her. She was staring at his chest as he held her tightly. Glancing up, her eyes met his. The naked love she saw there only solidified her resolve. It was the shadows that still slightly existed there that made her take his hand, lead him through the back of the restaurant, and up the stairs to her room. She didn’t say a thing. Neither did he. It was a silence ripe with expectation, with hope. She and Future Max had failed anyway. Max still loved her, in spite of it all. She had to take those shadows out of his eyes. "What’s going on, Liz?" Max asked, once they reached her room and she had shut the door firmly. She wasn’t looking at him. She was looking out the window at the balcony, at where  he had appeared and totally screwed up her entire life. And yet, she had loved him. He was Max. He had just been wrong. They belonged together. Whether or not Tess left, it could not be enough to keep her and  this  Max apart. It was meant to be. "Maybe you should tell me what Isabel saw," Liz suggested, turning back to look at him. "So I know how much you already know." "Just…" Max cleared his throat, sounding embarrassed again. "You were dreaming about me - about  us - together." He gazed at her hopefully. "I mean, I know it might not mean anything, but, when she told me, I couldn’t help but think that…" He trailed off, glancing away. Liz saw his eyes light on the picture of the two of them that still sat on her bed-side table. He walked over to it, picking it up. "That was a great weekend," Liz said unnecessarily, still stalling, still trying to work up the nerve to change everything again. Maria had taken it without their knowledge during the six weeks between the time that they found the first orb and when Tess arrived, the only time that they had truly been happy together. They had all gone out into the desert for a camp-out during Spring Break. The picture was of her and Max sitting on a rock together, she between his legs, his arms wrapped around her. They were both gazing off towards the horizon. Liz remembered the sunset that day, how beautiful it was, how much more she had appreciated it, simply because she was with Max. When Maria gave her the picture, Liz knew that she would treasure it forever. It had become even more precious to her since Tess came and everything had been screwed up. She put it away for a while after that. It was too painful to look at it. And, yet, she had taken it out again very recently. Maybe she knew even then that it was time to fix things between them. "Yeah," Max agreed, setting the frame down again. He looked at her. "I guess it’ll never be that way again?" But the way he raised his voice, like it was a question, it told Liz he hoped that it could be. He had forgiven her. He had forgiven her without even really knowing the truth. "What did you want to tell me?" Max asked expectantly, although he sounded a little disappointed that she had not answered his unasked question. Why couldn’t she just say it? Liz wondered as she licked her lips, continuing to stare at him. Why was it so hard? "Liz?" "I never slept with Kyle." She blurted it so quickly, he blinked. Liz swallowed, hard, waiting for his reaction. She expected either utter joy or surprised anger. She didn’t expect at all what came next. It looked to her like Max let out a long breath, and then he said quietly. "I know." He sat down on the bed, not taking his eyes off of her. "I’ve known ever since I got back from New York." He smiled slightly. "You’re a really good liar, Liz, but that time…something was just off. And you couldn’t actually say it again. It just felt wrong." Liz stared at him in shock. "But if you knew…why didn’t you say anything?" she asked in astonishment, "I realized after what happened in New York - when you saved me - that the bond between us was never broken," Max replied. "And when you lied to me again…" He paused. "Well, I knew you had to have a really good reason and I knew that you’d tell me eventually." He looked down. "Even if the reason was that you had fallen out of love with me and just couldn’t tell me that." Liz collapsed on the bed beside him, her hands clenched in her lap. She had hurt him so much. She had to make him see that it had had nothing to do with not wanting to be with him. "I’ve wanted to tell you the truth for so long," she whispered. Max turned slightly. He reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear. "Why? Why did you have to do that, Liz?" He looked sad. "Were you really that desperate to get rid of me?" "Of course not!" Liz exclaimed. "I did it to save you!" "Save me? From what?" Max asked, confused. "From me! Max, our relationship was going to drive Tess away from Roswell. We would have been responsible for that and it would have been disastrous. You need her!" She relaxed her hands when she realized that they were clutching at her apron. "You’re not going to believe how I know this, but I do." Max’s eyes narrowed. "But you told me now. What’s changed?" "Well, she and Kyle…they seem close. And the sheriff too. She has a family now. And you and her - you’re friends. I don’t think she could just walk away as easily," Liz admitted. "And I just couldn’t do it anymore. I miss you." She realized that she was about to cry. "You don’t have to miss me," Max told her, his voice cracking as he brought his hands up to cup her face. "I’m right here. All I want is to be with you, Liz. It’s all I’ve ever wanted." Liz threw her arms around his neck. "It’s all I’ve ever wanted too." "Then what’s standing in our way?" Max asked, smiling again. "Only you. We’re meant to be together, Liz. I know it." Liz could feel a smile breaking out across her own face through her tears. "I know it too, Max." And yet, the fear was still there, still pressing against her belly. "But we have to be sure about Tess. I want to be with you, but we can’t let anyone know. Not yet. We can’t give her any reason to leave - not until we’re sure she won’t." "I don’t care if anyone knows," Max replied. "As long as we’re together, I’ll sneak around behind their backs for the rest of my life." He ran his hands through her hair. "Can I kiss you now?" he asked, his lips only a breath away from hers. "But don’t you want to know why I lied?" Liz asked breathlessly, her eyes already beginning to flutter shut in anticipation of the one thing she had dreamed of for months. "Yes, but not right now," Max told her, his own breath hitching. "Okay," Liz sighed. "But you do need to know one thing," she whispered, as he placed feather light kisses on her closed eyes, her cheek bones, her chin. "What?" He sounded highly distracted, but Liz knew he was listening to her. "I didn’t just lie about Kyle. I lied when I told you I didn’t want to die for you. I would die for you, Max. Since I hurt you, I’ve been dead inside," Liz admitted. She felt Max still. He pulled back slightly, his eyes darkening with love. "Then it’s time to come back to life, Liz." With that, he brought his lips down on hers and she did just that.

Posted: **Fri Jan 21, 2005 4:18 pm**

Most excellent!!!! <img src=http://www.majiklmoon.com/ezboardsmilies/bow.gif ALT=":bow"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/tongue.gif ALT=":b"> ow<img src=http://www.majiklmoon.com/ezboardsmilies/bow.gif ALT=":bow"> <div style="text-align:center"> When I am out there, in time, I am inverted, changed into a desperate version of myself.</div> <div style="text-align:center"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/ ... forme2.bmp" style="border:0;"/></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrea ... D=50.topic" target="top">Second Chances - Nominated for Roswell AU</a></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrealmfrm71" target="top">More Info Here</a></div>

Posted: **Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:20 am**

i'm off for a few days and bam. all heck breaks lose. before i saw anythign else...i hope it wasn't too bad that i got a sick twisted sense of pleasure out of liz finally understanding what her and max were like when she saw michael and maria. i'm glad its ava that has liz and not tess. sean is that guy there are looking for isn't he? i always knew something was odd about that boy. he came and disappeared at a very convinent time. see i always new fm screwed things up with what he did. so what did the sean imposter do to max? <div style="text-align:center">Roselle</div> <div style="text-align:center">The Techie Connection</div> "'Cause frankly, looking at you looking like me is kinda whacked.'" - Michael from Son of M&M by kLyn "If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." -Gail Sheehy Egyptain Dwelling Silly Sister

Posted: **Sat Jan 22, 2005 3:55 am**

Author's Note: Hi everyone! I'm posting two parts today because Part 11 is relatively short. Enjoy!  Part 11 - Another Time, Another Life - Section B  Late February - Las Vegas, Nevada  "Oh my God! Max! Someone’s coming!" Liz gasped against his lips, turning her head so abruptly, she heard him sputter when he got a mouthful of hair. She tried not to laugh when he tickled her lightly on the ribs in punishment. This resulted in a muffled scream, half-snort. But she was right. She could hear voices, and knew that if they didn’t stop it immediately, they were going to be caught and the jig would be up. Everyone would know, which meant that Tess would know, and it was still unclear what that would mean. "Shh!" Liz felt Max bring his forehead down to rest against hers. She could still hear him breathing heavily, could feel his heart beating rapidly against her chest. They were so close, she actually felt her own slow down, starting to beat in time with his. Liz pinched him, since he was the one who had almost made her shriek. She felt him trying desperately not to laugh. They were both so tense, it almost made Liz start to giggle hysterically too. As though he could feel it, Max cupped her head gently and rested her cheek against his chest, stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her down. Liz knew it had been a mistake to allowed Max to pull her into the bathroom of the hotel room they were sharing with all their friends, but it had been too hard to say no. Everyone had been down in the casino anyway. Besides, since they arrived in Las Vegas to spend the money Michael had inherited, he had been all she was thinking of. Totally alone. No parents anywhere. There was no question that "cementing," as Future Max had dubbed it, was definitely on her mind. It had been so long since they had had a moment alone. The entire Laurie Dupree affair, which almost resulted in the end of the world, made it so that there was barely a minute to spare, let alone time to revel in the fact that they were back together and were more deliriously happy than either of them had ever been in their entire life. They had actually been discussing whether maybe it was time to tell everyone the truth when they were distracted by their close proximity to each other in such a small space. After all, Tess and Kyle were closer than ever. Liz had even begun to bond with the other girl a little during the time they were trying to dig Alex and Kyle out of the ground. Both Max and Liz were almost positive that Tess had no intention of leaving Roswell, and since she had been anything but aggressive with Max since their return from New York, Liz had even started to hope that perhaps she had given up - that maybe she was falling love with Kyle, and had no intention of being with Max, ever. Yet, they were still waiting, stealing moments together here and there, both craving more, but knowing that caution was the better part of valour. The chance to actually be together was too precious to jeopardize by revealing it too soon. This was why Liz was currently straining her ears to hear who had come into their suite. If it was Maria, Alex, or even Michael or Isabel, the danger was not great. They might be able to brazen out the fact that they were up here alone together. Liz was almost positive that Maria knew they were back together anyway - she had practically orchestrated it herself after all. Liz didn’t doubt that she had maybe spilled some information to Michael or Alex too. She knew her best friend. She could keep a secret when it really counted, like the Future Max one, but she was likely too happy contemplating the possibility that Max and Liz were reunited not to at least speculate about it with either her boyfriend or her other best friend. But if it was Tess or Kyle…Well, that didn’t bear thinking about. The proverbial cat would be out of the proverbial bag in that instance. And they still weren’t sure that Tess was ready for it. Keeping her in Roswell at all costs - it was what Liz had given Max up for in the first place. It was the reason she had been willing to hurt him so badly. They could not risk it. "I think it’s Tess," Liz heard Max whisper against her hair. "I can feel her presence." That comment sent a shiver down Liz’s spine. Max felt it, and tightened his arms around her. "Through the Four Square," he added, trying to reassure her. But Liz did not have time to reflect on why this upset her so. She had recognized the other voice. It was Alex. "Why are Alex and Tess up here together?" Liz murmured. She felt Max shrug. "I don’t care, as long as they leave." Liz heard a door shut, the voices disappearing. "I think they went into one of the rooms." Liz frowned slightly. "What’s going on?" "I’m sure it’s nothing," Max replied. Liz felt him moving away from her, towards the door. The bathroom was in complete darkness, no lights having been necessary for what they had been up to in here. Liz watched as light filtered into the small room when Max opened the door, poking his head out. "No one." He turned back, shutting the door again. Liz frowned to herself. "Max, we need to get out of here," she whispered urgently, moving towards the door. "Liz, I want to tell her the truth," he told her firmly, refusing to move out of the way. "She has to accept this someday. I want it to start now." Liz could tell by the tone of his voice that he no longer found this scenario amusing. In fact, she could hear an underlying frustration that had been building between them for a couple of weeks now. Liz sighed heavily. "We can’t. Not yet. Not until I feel sure." The panic she had felt at the thought of being caught - it had only reinforced to her that it was not yet time. "Liz…" "Max, you promised me that we would do this when I felt ready. You don’t know what Future Max told me would happen." She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. There was a long pause. Liz wished that they had turned the lights on. She didn’t like the fact that she couldn’t see his face. She knew that he was still angry about the fact that the future version of himself had come back in time, telling her that she needed to make him fall out of love with her. She hadn’t told him the whole story though. He had been so angry at himself over the whole situation, even though he, of course, had nothing to do with it, she had only told him that they needed to keep Tess in Roswell at all costs -even at the cost of their own happiness. "Are you ever going to tell me?" he finally asked quietly. "I can’t. Max, he almost couldn’t tell  me. It screws up the timeline too much to know. The only reason he finally told me was because I wasn’t going to help him." She felt herself tensing up when he didn’t reply for a long time again. "This is coming between us, Liz," Max said. "I don’t want anything to come between us." "I don’t either," Liz replied. "You know that. But I can’t tell you!" "You might not want it to," Max told her. "But you’re letting it." There was another long pause. "I haven’t had one single flash from you since we’ve been back together." The night they got back together, she had told him only half the truth. After she thought about it, it had seemed like the wisest course of action. Future Max had warned her that this was a "different world," but he had also told her that telling too much could seriously affect future events. The fact that she had gotten back together with Max at all was a big enough risk. And, still, Liz felt like she had been punched in the gut. Max sounded so hurt, all she wanted to do was throw her arms around him and comfort him. Because she knew it was true. She had not allowed him to see into her soul at all, afraid that he would find out the truth about Future Max. And he couldn’t know. He couldn’t know that they had been responsible for Michael and Isabel’s deaths, and for the end of the world. She was afraid of how he might react, afraid how he would feel. She knew him. His guilt might cause him to do the one thing she dreaded more than any other. He might actually decide that he had to pursue his destiny with Tess. She knew it was selfish, knew that it was completely against everything her nature was telling her to do, but she couldn’t give him up again. She just could not do it. And so she kept it from him, trying to determine Tess’s state of mind on her own, trying to figure out if the right moment had come. The irony was, she was losing Max anyway. She knew this as she watched him open the bathroom door. He had been waiting for her to say something,  anything, to fix the rift that was beginning to open between them. When she didn’t, he left, without another word. Liz knew that he would be back. He couldn’t stay away from her after all. But this time, something had irrevocably changed. A shiver descended her backbone. She wondered why she felt like she had just made the  second biggest mistake of her life.  Part 12 - Mercy - Max POV  Mercy… Pure and simple. Longing… Cold and hollow. With sweet breath you’d come to warm me. But I held on too hard to only a memory. You lie there on the swollen ground. Deserted in your heart. Still longing for what yesterday’s lost, And for all that tomorrow might bring, And for all that tomorrow might bring. The passion lost, Taken, stolen. The dreams we had and shared, Shattered, broken. With kind words you’d come to soothe me, But I was so blind, Would send you away from me. There’s no hope in regretting now All the pain that we could not see. We both knew what we wanted, And we took it believing it free, And we took it believing it free. Sarah McLachlan "Max! Snap out of it! Max, what’s wrong?" I can hear my sister screaming right in my ear, but my eyes seem completely incapable of opening. I hear someone groan, then realize it is me. "Stop yelling, Isabel!" I practically have to physically pry open my eyes. I lift my hands up near my temples, trying to massage away the massive headache that is presently pounding away. I feel for the tension in my head, gradually heal it so that I can converse without feeling like I did when Nicholas tried to get the location of the granolith out of me last fall. "What the hell happened?" I manage to focus on my sister’s face. She has gone completely white. And suddenly it all comes flooding back. Sean Deluca! He did something to me, used some sort of alien power to knock me out. Which means that Sean Deluca is not at all who we thought he was. "Sean," I say, feeling the rage beginning to build within me. "Where did he go?" Isabel blinks, then looks at me like I am insane. "Max, what are you talking about? Sean? I haven’t seen Sean for days." She says this, obviously forgetting she saw him just this morning at the Crashdown. Not that it matters. The point is, she didn’t see him  now I stare at her. "Isabel, he was just here. He knocked me out!" "Max, there was no one here. One minute you were staring out the front windshield with this weird look on your face, the next you had completely passed out!" Isabel insists. "There was no one here." What the hell is going on around here? "Are you sure?" I demand, although I know she is. She simply nods. Sean Deluca was never here. But I  know he was. I suddenly have a very sinking suspicion that I have managed to uncover the mysterious Lazar - and without even trying. And the one thing this fact is telling me is that Liz is in even more danger than I even could have possibly comprehended five minutes ago. "Get in," I order my sister. "We need to get to the pod chamber. Now." Isabel doesn’t argue, although she is clearly still totally freaked out. "I should drive," she insists, grabbing the keys out of my hand. I don’t argue. *** We call the others on the drive. I tell Michael and the sheriff to avoid Sean Deluca at all costs, and to meet us at the pod chamber as soon as possible. I tell Michael why when he demands to know. I hear Isabel gasping in the seat beside me as she listens to the story. "How the hell can Maria’s cousin be an alien?" Michael yells. He sounds absolutely terrified. I don’t blame him. I am frantically trying to figure out if Sean has possibly hurt Liz in any way in all the time he has spent with her. Sean lived in Maria’s  house for God’s sake. I think Michael has the right to freak out. "I don’t think he’s Maria’s cousin," I reply tersely. "Mind-warp?" Michael demands incredulously. "Maxwell, how the hell can Tess be doing this? There is no way that chick can be  this powerful." "I don’t think it’s Tess. I think he’s doing it." "Is he Khivar?" Michael asks. I can hear the fear in his voice. "Maybe," I say. "We’ll discuss it when we’re all together." Isabel and I drive in silence for several more minutes after Michael has hung up. I can practically feel my sister’s terror, not only in the air, but through the bond that we share through the Four Square. "What’s wrong, Iz?" I finally ask. She doesn’t reply for a long time and then whispers, "Is he Khivar?" "I don’t know." Because I don’t, but I am beginning to suspect that he probably is. The way I felt when he touched me… He had done that to me before. Because the memories are starting to pour back. They have been ever since I regained consciousness. "Isabel…" I trail off, don’t know if I should tell her this. I still haven’t fully accepted it myself, but I think maybe she needs to know. She needs to prepare herself for what might be coming. "I think I remember dying." There is another long silence. "Tell me." She sounds like she really doesn’t want to know, but  needs to. Sort of like I need to get to Liz. Every fibre of my being is screaming, won’t stop screaming, until I have found her. I know it, embrace it. It is giving me the strength to deal with what I saw. "His power…" I pause, searching my mind, trying to get a grasp on what I saw when Sean Deluca did what he did to me. I am trying to stay unemotional, detached from the memory, but it is difficult. It is not a pleasant experience to relive your own death after all. I don’t think you can blame me for it. "I think he burned me up from inside. I remember flames." "Oh my God." I can feel the car slowing down. "Isabel! Go!" I insist. "Drive. We need to get there." "Max." She pays no attention to me, pulls off the highway and turns to stare at me. "Did you see me?" And I know exactly what she is thinking. Was she there when he killed me? Did she actually watch her lover murder her own brother, her king? I consider not telling her, but I don’t think lies are any sort of help, ever. Lies were what brought us to this point after all. Lies about who we were, are. Lies about who we were supposed to be, would have been, if the future version of myself hadn’t interfered. "You were there." "Oh my God," she moans. Her face is in her hands. "Then it’s true. I betrayed you. I let him  kill you!" I am still detached, but I do want to comfort her. "Not you, Iz. Her. Vilandra. She’s not you." I reach out, squeeze her shoulder lightly. "Isabel, I need you to be strong." She looks up at me, her face drenched with tears. "Max, I am so sorry." "Don’t be sorry," I snap. "Be Isabel. I need my sister. You have to help me fix whatever it is he’s trying to do. You need to help me save Liz." Isabel’s eyes are gazing past me. I wonder if she is trying to remember a life that no longer exists, a person she once was. But I know that she can’t. I know that I don’t want her to. Memories of what came before have only ever caused us grief after all. Memories of Tess led me to make the biggest mistake of my life, led me to betray Liz, led me to almost condemn my sister and my best friend to their destruction. But the memory of what Khivar did to me… It is a good thing I realize. It has made me cold, determined, absolutely convinced that he is not going to win again. He is not going to hurt Liz. Because he knows that all he has to do to defeat me this time is hurt her. "Isabel." She looks at me again, her eyes pleading with me to say something to make her feel better. "You need to help me. You are possibly the only person he might listen to." I place my hands on both of her shoulders, shake her a bit. "I need my sister." I feel her spine straighten under my hands. "I won’t fail you this time, Max. I promise." "Then he has already lost," I tell her with certainty. And I know I’m right. Now we just need to prove it. *** The others are waiting at the pod chamber when we pull up. Kyle is leaning against his Mustang, trying not to look like he’s scared. The sheriff is on his phone, talking to Maria’s mom I realize. I can hear him asking questions about Sean. Michael is standing with Maria, his arm around her. She looks like she’s been crying, but her eyes are dry now. Maria shrugs away from Michael, and walks over to me as I climb out of my parent’s car. "Max, I don’t have a cousin Sean." She swallows. "When Michael told me what happened…" She trails off, glancing at Isabel who has come up behind me. "I suddenly just  knew that he wasn’t my cousin." "I know." I shake my head, guilty that someone that she loved, even in the hostile way she loved Sean, was a figment of her imagination, and it is a consequence of the fact that she knows us. "I’m sorry." Maria narrows her eyes. "I am going to kick his ass when I get my hands on him," she replies, sounding more like the Maria we all know and love. "There’s no sign of Liz or Tess anywhere, Maxwell." Michael speaks up. He gestures up towards where the pod chamber used to be. "There’s no way they’re up there. Are you sure this is the right place?" I stare up at the hole in the side of the cliff. "I’m sure," I say. "She’s here." But the fact that I still can’t feel her… Maybe I misread what Liz was trying to tell me in the vision. And it’s then that I see it. "Oh my God." I pass Maria as she wrenches around to look at what I’m staring at. "Max, what is it?" Isabel demands, following close behind me. But I am already scaling the side of the cliff, half-way up before I can even attempt to reach for it. Then it’s in my hand. I hold it away from me, and stare at it, catching the moonlight in one of its facets. And, finally, I understand the mistake we have made, understand that maybe I didn’t make as big a mess as I thought I did when I sent Tess off a couple of days ago. Because, in my hand, I have the crystal that I used to start the ship that carried her off with my son. It is still on Earth. And I know why too. So maybe memories aren’t such a bad thing after all. Because I know, with absolute certainty, that, in my hand, I am holding the granolith.

Posted: **Sat Jan 22, 2005 6:01 pm**

<img src=http://www.majiklmoon.com/ezboardsmilies/bow.gif ALT=":bow"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/tongue.gif ALT=":b"> ow I Have to agree you are a goddess <img src=http://www.majiklmoon.com/ezboardsmilies/bow.gif ALT=":bow"> <center>Insert witty signature <a href="http://b29.ezboard.com/bmajiklmoonsrealm" target="_new">here</a></center>

Posted: **Sun Jan 23, 2005 5:07 pm**

Part 13 - Another Time, Another Life - Section C  April 2001 - Roswell, New Mexico Liz glanced at the clock, wondering where Max was. They had agreed quietly right before Max resolved that whole business with Brody at the UFO Museum that he would meet her on her balcony at the usual time. The whole hostage incident had reinforced to Liz, and she assumed to Max, how fragile Max’s secret was, how careful they still had to be. All she wanted to do was see him, hold him, wrap herself up in his presence, remind herself that they were both still alive, and safe, now that Tess had erased Brody’s memory. But Max was late. Really late actually. Things had mostly gone back to normal since they their fight in Las Vegas about telling Tess the truth. This, of course, was  after Max went gambling with Michael and they both ended up behind bars. After Maria bailed them out of jail, Max had decided to go home on the next plane. No one else knew it wasn’t only because of the fight he had with Michael, but also because he was still absolutely furious with Liz. When he found her in the games room playing pinball with Tess - strange enough in itself, Liz acknowledged, but her attempt to see if maybe she could tell Tess the truth - she was able to tell that it took all of his willpower not to drag both girls somewhere private to get everything out into the open. He refrained though and had simply left, leaving Liz sure that things were going steadily downhill between them. And, so, she was shocked and relieved when Max came back. Maria had arranged for a dinner for the whole group at a private club, and Liz was sitting alone at the table, watching Kyle and Tess dance together, smiling and laughing, wondering if maybe Max was right - if maybe they were safe, that Tess would not leave, that they could tell everyone the truth - when he was suddenly there and was pulling her out onto the dance floor. He had still been in a very strange mood though, telling her about a flash he had on his way to the airport - of the two of them getting married in Vegas. Liz felt her heart drop to her stomach. She was on the verge of telling him that he had seen a vision of what was supposed to be, but the moment had passed when he pulled her closer, whispered an apology into her hair, telling her that he loved her and that he trusted her. So, things returned to normal - if you could call sneaking around normal. Max did bring up the subject of telling Tess the truth again. In fact, he and Tess had been hanging out more often lately. He told Liz that he was doing his best to get a read on her, to figure out what was going on with her and Kyle. Liz guessed that this was why Tess had been caught up in Brody’s hostage situation - she was visiting Max at work when the whole thing went down. Liz was doing her best not to be jealous about the time her boyfriend was spending with his past-life wife. She knew, without reservation, that it was her Max loved. Even if she was resisting giving him flashes, he was as open with her as always. She knew from seeing into his soul that he had no doubts about who he loved. But that horrible feeling she had experienced in Las Vegas - that he was slipping slowly beyond her reach with each passing day, with each day she kept the truth of the Future Max situation hidden from him - would not go away. Which was why she was freaking out that he was late for their rendezvous. It was completely unlike him. And so it was a great relief to hear Max’s familiar voice calling up from the alley below her balcony. Better late than never! "Liz? Are you there?" She tried to control the beaming smile that broke out across her face, but then gave up. If she couldn’t show him with flashes how much she adored him, then she would show him in every other way possible. She looked over into the alley. "Hey! Come on up!" It wasn’t until Max spoke again that she realized how tense he looked down there, staring up at her. "Um, I can’t. My parents are freaking out about what happened at the Museum." He looked down. "I just came to tell you that I have to go home." Liz felt her heart drop in disappointment. "Oh. Okay." She smiled again. "You can’t even come up for a minute?" she asked flirtatiously. "I better not." Liz frowned. Max sounded distinctly weird to her. "Is everything okay, Max?" "Fine." He said it so abruptly, she knew he was lying. "Max?" "Really, Liz," he said more calmly. "Everything’s fine. I’m just really tired." He paused. "Listen, can I make this up to you?" Liz could see him relaxing slightly. He was moving towards the ladder, as though he had decided to climb up after all. He stopped before he reached it, forcing himself to tilt his head all the way back to stare up at her. Now that he was closer, Liz could see the shuttered expression on his face. "You don’t have to," Liz said, a feeling of dread beginning to come over her. Something was  really wrong here. "I understand." "I want to," Max insisted emphatically. For the first time since he had arrived, he smiled up at her. "You do know what Saturday is, do you not, Miss Parker?" Liz shrugged. "I have no idea," she replied, mystified. "Liz, I’m shocked," Max teased. "Where are your priorities? You’re the girl. You’re supposed to know these things, not me. It’s the prom, of course." Liz blinked. She had totally forgotten about the prom. Since she had no intention of going with anyone but Max, and since it seemed unlikely that they would be able to go together due to the continued quest to keep their renewed relationship a secret, it hadn’t even occurred to her to consider going anyway. "Oh. Yeah. I’d forgotten." "Well, I happen to be the bearer of the news that one Tess Harding has a date for the big event," Max told her. He had started to climb the ladder now, after all, and was only two rungs below her. He was smiling, but as Liz gazed down at him, instead of feeling pleased, she felt a shiver descend her backbone. Because she was looking directly into Max’s eyes, and the tension there in no way matched the playful tone of his voice. His eyes - there was something dark in there, hidden. And if Liz was not mistaken - it was fear. Something  hadhappened and it was completely apparent that he had no intention of telling her what it was. And she suddenly understood how it felt to be Max, how it felt to have her shutting him out from a part of her life. Not for the first time, all she wanted to do was blurt out the whole story immediately. But it was too late. He was still talking, still pretending nothing was wrong. "Kyle asked her apparently." Liz did not miss the raised eyebrow that seemed to be saying  See? We’re safe. We can tell her the truth. "Oh?" Liz replied, just as casually, pretending that this was nothing more than flirtatious banter prior to the question she knew was coming. She saw Max’s expression darken slightly, but so quickly, she wondered if she imagined it. "So?" he asked, the undertones betraying that he was asking about much more than the prom. "Yes," Liz whispered, reaching down and running her hand down his face. She felt it tighten under her touch. Max swallowed, then forced another smile. "Great. I think we should lay low until then though, Liz," he said as he backed his way down the ladder again. "Just in case. That way she’ll think we’re going just as friends." "Okay." "I’ll see you at school tomorrow." He was walking away before Liz realized that he hadn’t kissed her good-bye. *** The day of the prom dawned bright and sunny, which in no way matched Liz’s mood. Maria was still sound asleep on the pillow beside her. She had slept over the night before because they were going to the hairdresser and to get their nails done early, and it had just seemed easier. Of course, it had also been because it was time for an emergency gab session. Maria flat out admitted to Liz on Wednesday, after she found out that Liz and Max were going to the prom together, that everyone knew they were back together. Liz had stared at her best friend in horror, her heart beating a terrible tattoo of doom against her rib-cage. "Everyone?" she whispered, feeling like she was about to pass out. Despite all the attempts she had made to be honest with Max, to accept that Tess was ready for the truth, the idea that Tess might actually know already… The terror she was suddenly experiencing more than confirmed to her that it was not yet time. Tess could not know. "Well, everyone that matters." Maria waved her hand in the air dismissively. "Me, Michael, Isabel, and Alex. Who cares about anyone else?" "Does Tess know?" Liz demanded, wanting to shake Maria for treating the whole thing so cavalierly. "I swear she doesn’t, Lizzie," Maria insisted. "Michael and Isabel have been keeping a close eye on the situation. I told them enough to make them understand that she  has to stay in Roswell." "How long has everyone known?" Liz asked, trying to decide what this meant for the weird way Max was behaving. Were Michael and Isabel trying to convince him that he had to break it off with her, that keeping Tess around was more important than any earthly girlfriend? Is that why he looked so scared on Monday? Because he had started to realize that they were right, and that he was going to have to break up with her? But then why did he have invite her to the prom? It didn’t make any sense. No, something else was going on with Max, and she still had no idea what. She had not really spoken to him since the night at her balcony, although she had seen him at school of course. Even that had been weird though. He made absolutely no attempt to touch her or talk to her privately, as he had all the time since January. The fear that she was losing him…It was growing stronger with every passing day. And, yet, she still knew that she could not tell him the truth. She didn’t know where this irrational terror came from, but she knew it went far beyond the fear that she was going to lose Max if he knew that their relationship had resulted in Michael and Isabel’s deaths. No this was something different. Like there was an outside force controlling her. But it was ridiculous, of course. No one knew the whole story except Maria, and she was the person Liz trusted most in the world, after Max. Not that Max was making it  easy to trust him lately. So she and Maria had stayed up late the night before, dissecting the whole situation. And it was an argument Maria made that finally convinced Liz that it was time to tell Max the whole truth. "Liz, you love him. You can’t stay away from him, but this isn’t you. You know it isn’t. Not telling Max the truth, because you’re scared you’re going to lose him?" Maria sounded absolutely flabbergasted. "He’ll never leave you, Liz. You have to see that. If you tell him, you can come up with a solution together, even if it’s full-time bodyguards for Spaceboy and Queen Amidala fourteen years from now." Liz had been shocked by what appeared to be Maria’s callous attitude towards Michael and Isabel’s impending doom. "Maria, I would have though that you of all people would have wanted me to do anything to protect Michael!" she exclaimed. Maria rolled her eyes. "I’m bound to kill him myself long before then, Liz." When Liz gasped, Maria took her by the hand and said seriously, "Liz, of course I’m scared. But we can’t live our lives in fear. Future Max told you the truth. This is a new world. There is absolutely no way we can be sure that Michael and Isabel aren’t still going to die, even in a different way." Maria sighed heavily. "Someone else might die. We can’t know." She squeezed Liz’s hand lightly. "You have to tell Max, so that he can be as prepared as possible. It’s not fair to him, Liz. You’re not trusting in his love for you. How can you, of all people, not know that he’ll never leave you? If he didn’t after the whole destiny thing, he won’t - ever." And Liz knew that Maria was right. Which was why, tonight, she was going to tell Max everything. She had asked Max to pick her up early. She knew that he had planned a romantic dinner at Chez Pierre, although secretly she would have preferred Senor Chow’s, which had so many wonderful memories, but she wanted to go somewhere private with him first, to tell him everything so that there would be nothing standing between them anymore. And if he left her - well, so be it. She was tired of being a coward. Of course, this was easier said than done. When she got her first glimpse of Max in his tux, hours later, she questioned her decision. How could she risk losing him? He was walking towards her, his eyes glowing as he gazed at her in her wine-coloured dress, which she had accentuated with a necklace that had belonged to her grandmother. She felt like he was practically worshipping her with his eyes. It sent a shiver of desire coursing down her spine, one that was not helped by the fact that she had actually never seen him looking as gorgeous, and that was, of course, saying a lot. For a long, charged moment, as their eyes met, the world was devoid of everyone else but the two of them. Liz knew that she could no longer lie to him. And she knew from the expression on his face that he felt the same way. Whatever was bothering him…She had a feeling she was going to know all about it before the night was through. "Can we go somewhere?" Liz whispered, not taking her eyes from his. Max simply nodded, taking her by the hand and leading her out the door. They sat in comfortable silence on the drive. Liz knew exactly where he was taking her - the radio tower near the crash site. She didn’t know  how she knew. She just did. It was like this whole night had played out a million times before, like she had lived it all. Perhaps she had, in another life. Was this timeline beginning to meld with the timeline Future Max had erased when he arrived? Were she and Max simply rebuilding the horrible future that was to come - the one where Michael and Isabel were dead and the world ended? Liz felt a frisson of fear, but tried to ignore it. She had to tell him. There was no turning back now, no time for doubts. Maria was right. She couldn’t live her life based on fears of what might happen. Not any more. As they pulled up to the place where they had found the orb that first brought Tess Harding into their lives, Liz sat quietly for a moment after Max turned off the ignition, staring at the scene spread out before her. The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon, but it didn’t matter. There were several torches lighting up the area, throwing shadows across the blanket that was spread out on the ground, an elaborate picnic just sitting there waiting for them. Liz turned to look at Max. He was watching her, his eyes glowing. "Are you ready for the best night of your life, Miss Parker?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, and picking up her hand at the same time, bringing the palm to his lips. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Liz blurted out, unable to stop herself. Max’s eyes narrowed slightly, almost smoldering. "Probably about as much as I love you," he replied. "Which is why I’ve decided that tonight marks a new beginning for us." "You have?" Liz asked breathlessly. "Max, I’m so glad you feel that way, because I think it’s time…" "Liz, I have a confession to make." Max cut her off, apparently not even having heard her. "I’ve wanted to tell you since it happened, but I didn’t quite know what to say. I thought you might take it the wrong way and so I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out a way to say it without it all coming out wrong and screwing everything up between us." He was staring at her, his tone pleading. "Do you know what I mean?" "I think I have an idea," Liz replied wryly. "Okay. Just tell me. I promise that it won’t screw everything up." She smiled despite the nerves that his statement had caused to start jumping in her stomach. As though she wasn’t nervous enough! "I remember Tess." He said it abruptly, like if he didn’t say it quickly, he wouldn’t be able to get it out. "From before I mean. I remember loving her." For a moment Liz felt as though she had been slapped. All of her fears, since the first moment Tess arrived on the scene, came flooding back. She  was going to lose him! Not because of any of her own actions, after all, but because of an alien destiny over which they had absolutely no control. But when she looked up into Max’s anxious face, all her fear dissolved so suddenly, it was as though they had never existed. She knew he loved  her. She had always known it. This would not come between them. She would not allow it to, and she knew with utter certainty that neither would he. "Liz? Are you okay? Say something! Please." She realized that she had been sitting in, what had likely seemed like, stunned silence for close to two minutes. "I don’t care! Really! It doesn’t mean anything. I’m actually surprised by how little it means. I mean, it’s nice - but it’s sort of like feelings for an ex-girlfriend, you know? Like maybe how you feel about Kyle? An old affection that used to matter, that you still sort of hold onto, but don’t really care about." Max snapped his mouth shut suddenly. "I’m babbling. I’m sorry." He was still staring at her in concern. "Are you okay?" he repeated again, bemused. "Yes," she smiled affectionately at him. "I’m glad you told me. I understand." "I just want you to get that this is what’s been on my mind all week," Max continued, his breath having come out in a great woosh of relief. "It’s why I didn’t kiss you on Monday. I didn’t want you getting flashes before I could tell you myself." He paused. "Unlike you, I can’t control myself around you. I can’t just shut them off." Liz could tell that he was trying to mask the underlying tone of bitterness that accompanied that last statement. He was still very much doing his best not to pressure her into telling him the truth. Liz brought her hands up to cup his beloved face. "Thank you for that. And I know exactly what you were going through." She closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. "And I am so sorry that I’ve shut you out. I was scared, Max, but you’re not the only one who wants a fresh start tonight." And, with that, she pulled his face down to hers, pressing a light kiss to his lips. "See me, Max." She opened her mouth for him, felt his hands come up to cradle her skull. She threw all of her love for him into the kiss, concentrated on opening her whole soul to him, concentrated on showing him everything that had been standing between them for so long. The flashes she received from him emphasized the fear he had been living with all week - the fear that she would not understand, that she would leave him because of Tess. She saw the memory of his love for Tess, embraced it, because immediately following it came a calm acceptance that it was over, and was nothing compared to what he felt for her, Liz. His love for her, under any circumstances, blazed through his entire being, everything that was  Max, settling peacefully over her, reinforcing to her that she was doing the right thing. It seemed like far too soon when Max broke the kiss with a gasp, bringing his forehead down to rest against hers. "Liz!" "I’m so sorry, Max." Liz felt tears of regret filling her eyes. "I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you with the truth." "How could you think that I would ever leave you?" Max demanded, lightly rubbing his thumbs across her cheeks to catch her tears. "I will  never leave you for her. Never." He drew her deeper into his embrace, pressing her cheek against his neck. "And we’ll make sure that everyone stays safe, I promise." "I know it. I trust you, Max," Liz replied, almost choking on a sob of relief. "Liz, don’t trust  me," Max said seriously, still only a breath away from her lips. "Trust in  us. Because together we are strong. I can’t be strong without you." Liz smiled through her tears. "I love you, Max." And, suddenly, she knew with utter certainty that it was time to finally show him just how  much she loved him. "I want to be with you, Max." Max blinked, then pulled back slightly. "Liz, that’s not why I brought you out here!" he exclaimed, sounding horrified that she might think it was. She kissed him lightly. "I know. But it’s time." She felt her heart lightening with the complete rightness of the moment. She glanced at her watch jokingly. "I know that, traditionally, we’re supposed to wait until  after the prom, but, by my calculations, we’re already about seven months behind schedule." Max’s eyelids were lowering though. He was clearly no longer listening to her. She could see that his eyes were glued to her mouth. She couldn’t help herself. She darted her tongue out, and licked her lips to wet them. His eyes practically bugged out of his head. She could see that he had tensed up considerably. She waited impatiently for him to kiss her. She didn’t want to make the first move now. She had flat-out told him what she wanted. If he didn’t, well then he was going to have to tell her. The next move was his. Liz felt her heart drop to her toes when Max suddenly let go of her, and climbed out of the Jeep. Was he going to turn her down? She felt her cheeks beginning to flame with embarrassment, but it was nothing next to the deep disappointment that was building within her. But she should have know better. Max was simply walking around the Jeep. In fact, he had not taken his eyes off of her. She turned, watching him through the windshield as he moved around to her side. He took her by the hand and pulled her to her feet beside him. "Are you sure about this, Liz?" he asked, his eyes practically burning a hole in her, they were so hot with desire. "As sure as I am that I will love you until my dying day," she replied quietly. He groaned, then swept her up in his arms and carried to the blanket near the spot where they had first spent the night sleeping in each other’s arms. That morning, more than a year before, when Liz woke up in Max’s arms, she knew that this was how she wanted to wake up every morning, wrapped in his love for her. But, as they were swept away in a tidal wave of pent-up love and lust, Liz’s last coherent thought was that what happened  before they went to sleep was a million times better.

Posted: **Sun Jan 23, 2005 9:56 pm**

Can't remember where I left off at the other board...so I get to read it twice! <img src=http://www.majiklmoon.com/ezboardsmilies/lol.gif ALT=":lol"> This gets better with every chapter! <div style="text-align:center"> When I am out there, in time, I am inverted, changed into a desperate version of myself.</div> <div style="text-align:center"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/ ... forme2.bmp" style="border:0;"/></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrea ... D=50.topic" target="top">Second Chances - Nominated for Roswell AU</a></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrealmfrm71" target="top">More Info Here</a></div>

Posted: **Mon Jan 24, 2005 1:37 am**

ok you have like 2 stories going on in one. wicked. very good at dealing with sean deluca. i always knew something was not right with that boy. i do feel for maria though. given the fact her dad left and michael almost left her. liz almost died. she must be feeling a sense of lost even if it wasn't real. so um...when is amy going to find out about the group. cause amy maybe be flaky, but she can put 2 and 2 together to get 4 esp when it pretains to maria. so ok. max and liz do their thing. very sweet scene. so what the heck happens that screws things up? i guess i'm getting a little confused. its almost as if there is a spilt in the space time continium (forgive me if i am using it wrong) so they think lazar is kivar. hmmm. burned alive. not cool. can't wait to see what else you have in store for us. and max has the granolith. isabel stay strong. new life. fresh start. you'll do fine. <div style="text-align:center">Roselle</div> <div style="text-align:center">Egyptain Dwelling Silly Sister Techie Connection</div> "If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." -Gail Sheehy

Posted: **Tue Jan 25, 2005 12:56 am**

Author's Note: There is indeed a split in the "Time continuum" in this story. lol The major difference between the two timelines in this story become more clear in this part, but just to clarify, there are really three timelines that are referred to in this story. After a few more parts, and Sean's real identity becomes clear, I'll post a little note just to clarify them. I know it's a bit complicated, but I don't want to say too much right now and spoil the surprise! If you've read Fall on Your Knees, then you already know who Sean is, but you may not know who Lazar is yet, and I don't want to spoil the connection.  Part 14 - I Will Remember You - Liz POV  I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, Weep not for the memory. Remember the good times that we had, Let them slip away from us when things got bad. Clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun, Want to feel your warmth upon me I wanna be the one. I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, Weep not for the memory. I'm so tired, I can't sleep. Standing on the edge of something much too deep. It's funny how we feel so much But cannot say the words We are screaming inside but we can't be heard. I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, Weep not for the memory. So afraid to love you. More afraid to lose. Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose. Where once there was a darkness, A deep and endless night, You gave me everything you had, Oh, you gave me life. I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, Weep not for the memory. Weep not for the memory. Sarah McLachlan I realize that I am crying as I become aware of my surroundings again. "How did you do that?" I ask Ava, still feeling Max’s hands on my body, his lips, his love still wrapping its warmth around me. "The granolith did it," Ava replies, smiling sadly. She glances around. "We’re still in it you know." I can see that she is right. We are gone from the desert, and seem to be standing in a field of stars. She is the only thing, other than me, that has any substance, any form. "Why did we come back?" I ask, still with tears in my eyes, my voice cracking. All I want is to return to that moment - the moment that Max and I had cemented our relationship and, I was guessing here but it seemed logical, conceived our daughter. Serena. "How was I…there?" Because I  had been there. Living that other life - one where Max knew the truth so much earlier, where we were together, where he had never been with Tess. And now I was back - back in the cold of my own reality. Back where Max and I could never be together. Because he belonged to  her here. "It’s the granolith," Ava explains. "The crystal. It has many uses - like when your Future Max came through a time portal for example." She pauses, frowning. "We just used it to place you into another  you. So that you could know what went wrong." I am so confused by what she is telling me, I just shake my head. "But…were you there too?" "Not really," Ava replies. "I was here. To make sure that you didn’t get lost there." I close my eyes briefly. "But I still don’t know what happened - how  your timeline got messed up. I need to go back. Why did you bring me back before I knew?" "I had to make sure that you weren’t getting too wrapped up in that life. It’s not  your life Liz. You were only there to learn - not to live it," Ava tells me quietly, reaching out and putting her hand on my arm, as though in comfort. Because she knows. She knows that I would give anything to have lived that life. I was getting lost there. "It was so wonderful," I say sadly. "Why couldn’t it have happened that way in  my life?" Ava looks at me seriously. "Liz, there was something different. Something that you lived in  your life that the Liz in that life didn’t. You have to remember what it was." But I don’t. I am too caught up in the memory of Max - of knowing without any compunction that he loved me, that we were meant to be together. So many experiences were similar, close to the same, but that all had a different vibe to them because Max and I were together. What had been scary in this life, had been muted in that life. As long as we were together, we could do anything. I see that Ava has tensed, and looks frustrated. "You see why I had to pull you back, Liz. You were getting sidetracked, losing your focus. You weren’t learning what you needed to learn." "Then I have to go back," I reply firmly. "I’ll find out this time. I swear." But she does not look convinced. "Liz, it gets bad in that life too, you know," Ava tells me. "You need to get past all that romantic nonsense and think here. What -  who - was different?" "Well, Tess was definitely different." I shrug. "No she wasn’t." Ava sighs. "Liz, everything that happened in your life, Tess was still doing behind the scenes in  that life. It still turned out the same. Alex died. Don’t forget it’s why I joined up with Max, and Michael, and Isabel in the first place. It’s why I was sent back to fix things." I frown, a horrible thought suddenly coming to me. "Does she still get pregnant?" I hold my breath, knowing that she is going to say no, because there is no way that she and Max could ever have been together that way in that life. He had promised me that he would never leave me for her. "Yes." She says it brutally, so hard that it makes my knees weaken. "No," I whisper. "It can’t have happened." It could not be. There was no way. I had lived what happened between Max and me there. He would not have betrayed me that way. "All I’ll say is that it happened exactly the same way in that life as it did in yours," Ava says, sounding more gentle now, like she regrets having to hurt me. "But you said that  something was different," I press. "What?" "Not what. Who. Someone exists in your present life who did not exist there." Ava rolls her eyes. "Liz! Think! Are you so completely gaga over Max again that you can’t even remember?" And it hits me so suddenly, I feel like a total fool. "Sean!" I exclaim. "Yes, Sean." Ava shakes her head. "God. That must have been some mind-blowing sex you just had, because I’ve never known you to be so dense, in  this life or that one." I can feel my face reddening, but she is right. The feelings, the images of making love with Max…my soulmate, my other half. It was the first time I had ever felt complete in my entire life. And it hadn’t really been me. I was never going to have that. "Okay, what about Sean?" I bring my hands to my temples, trying to focus. "What difference did he really make, other than serving as a distraction?" Ava shrugs. "He was enough of a distraction to make sure that you didn’t tell Max the truth soon enough." "But…" I swallow, hard, force myself to say the words. "If Max and Tess still had a baby in  that life, how can he have made that big a difference?" "Did I say that Tess and  Max had a baby?" she demands. "I said that  Tess still got pregnant. I never said it was Max’s." I am so stunned, I just stare at her for a moment. "But you said that everything that happened in this life, happened in that one too." She just raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to connect the dots. "Are you…" I feel my heart beginning to pound, hope beginning to build within me that there were still opportunities for miracles. Maybe  this life wasn’t so bleak after all. "Are you saying that Max is not the father of Tess’s baby?" I blurt, still unable to comprehend that this could really be true. "Bingo." "Well, then who is?" I demand, my mind racing with the possibilities. "And how does everything get so screwed up in  that life?" Ava frowns. "I don’t know if I can tell you that, Liz. I think maybe you were right. You need to go see it for yourself. Because it wasn’t all sunshine and roses in that life you know." But suddenly, I don’t want to go back. All I want to do is get out of the granolith. And I’m still unsure what being in the granolith really means. Are we  inside the crystal, or did it help us to get inside somewhere else…or…Oh, who the hell knows? And who cares? I want out. I want to find Max and I want to tell him the truth. I want to run into his arms and tell him that there is absolutely nothing standing between us being together, that he has no son, that the baby belongs to someone else. But then it all comes crashing down again. I remember the flashes. I  know that he had sex with her in our timeline at least. And I can’t get past it. I cannot relive those flashes every time I kiss him. We still can’t be together. And, so, if we can’t be together in  this life, I will go back to where we can be. I grasp Ava by the hand, squeeze pleadingly. "Send me back." ***  Another Time, Another Life - Section D "Liz! I need to talk to you!" Liz smiled to herself as Maria practically attacked her when she and Max entered the gym a few hours later. It had taken all of their will-power to actually get there. Neither really wanted to leave the desert, to end the most significant event of either of their lives by returning to the real world, but they had knew that the others were waiting for them, and would be worried if they didn’t show up at the prom. And, technically, they were still supposed to be pretending that they were "just friends." It was highly likely that Tess would get suspicious if they didn’t arrive, wondering why they had disappeared together. Not that Liz was at all sure that she wouldn’t see that there was something distinctly different about them anyway. Max could not keep a silly grin off of his face, no matter how hard he tried, and it was so unlike him, there was no way Tess wouldn’t notice. Liz knew that she was practically glowing too. Liz shared a secret smile with Max before allowing Maria to sweep her away towards the girl’s washroom. "I didn’t think you were ever going to get here!" Maria exclaimed. "Liz, it’s a complete disaster, I’m telling you!" "Calm down! Tell me what it is," she ordered. Liz couldn’t help glancing in the mirror as they passed it, wondering if she looked any different on the outside. She knew that her hair was still a little tousled, but that was the style these days after all. She tried to control the smile that was threatening to break out across her face. It was highly inappropriate, based on the tone of Maria’s voice, and if it happened, she was going to have to explain to her best friend what was going on with her. She would tell Maria eventually, of course, if only to reassure her best friend that it was fine to move ahead with Michael. That they were safe. That it was wonderful in every way if it was your soulmate, and you knew that you were giving everything of yourself to the one person you were meant to be with, and that he was giving everything of himself right back. But, for right now, she wanted to keep the wonder of it all to herself, revel in the secret she and Max shared. "Liz, did you hear what I said?" Maria demanded, waving her hand in front of Liz’s face. "I am guessing by the lack of reaction that you didn’t." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What’s going on?" Liz shook her head, trying to concentrate. "Nothing," she responded quickly. "Sorry. What did you say? I’m a little out of it, that’s all. Max and I are so late, and I feel like I’m just managing to recover from how long dinner took." Maria rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Liz, Alex and Isabel are back together." Liz stared at Maria. "Really? That’s great!" Maria shook her head impatiently. "Liz, it is so  not great! She’s going to hurt him again! I just know it! I can feel it in my bones!" Liz smiled. "Maria, Alex isn’t the same person anymore. I think he’s learned how to handle himself around Isabel. He wouldn’t be pursuing anything with her again if he didn’t think it would work out." She felt a warm glow spreading through her at the thought of her best friend finally getting another chance with his dreamgirl. Everything was finally falling into place for all of them. "I still think we should put a stop to it," Maria retorted. "I will seriously kill that girl if she treats him like dirt again. I mean, c’mon. Grant Sorenson? Over Alex? I didn’t think he was  ever going to recover from that!" "But he did," Liz replied soothingly. "And Isabel has seen the light. We should be happy for them." Maria narrowed her eyes speculatively. "Liz, you’re a little too chipper tonight. Something’s different…" She trailed off, staring at her. Liz felt a blush beginning to creep up her neck and onto her cheeks. " Oh my God! Liz!" Maria exclaimed, dawning understanding on her face. "Did you and Max…?" Liz clapped her hand over Maria’s mouth. "Shhhh!" She glanced around nervously. No one could over hear. If anything leaked back to Tess….and this was the sort of rumour that would be all around the school in ten seconds. Especially since, in the eyes of all their classmates, she and Max were not together. Even now Liz could see Pam Troy and a friend of hers watching her and Maria in the mirror, interest on their faces. "Yes. Okay. Yes. But no one can know. Seriously, Maria!" Maria reached out and hugged her. "I could just kill you, Liz! We still didn’t know if it was safe after all!" She pulled back and smiled. "But I’m so happy for you!" Liz couldn’t help the smile that burst across her face. "It was…I mean, Maria, you have no idea." "And likely won’t for a long time if Michael doesn’t get his act together," Maria replied darkly, but with a twinkle in her eye. She threw her arm across Liz’s shoulder. "I say we go out into that gym and celebrate. I’m feeling really jumpy right about now," she added wryly. "Let’s dance!" Liz grinned, and let Maria lead her out of the washroom. Her eyes immediately began to scan the room for Max when they returned to the gym. She was still planning to dance with Maria, but she wanted to make sure that Max was surviving on his own for the moment. Not that she could even kiss him here - not where Tess might see - but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t see him anywhere though. Michael was standing with Kyle near the punch bowl. They both looked bored. Kyle even glanced at his watch once, and stared off towards the gym doors, a scowl on his face. Liz smiled to herself when she caught sight of Isabel and Alex slow-dancing nearby. The fact that the band was playing a fast song didn’t seem to be bothering them at all. They were oblivious to the world around them, completely wrapped up in each other. But where was Max? As she and Maria joined a group of their school friends on the dance floor, Liz’s gaze continued to drift through the crowd. There was no sign of him. A shiver of apprehension descended her spine, out of nowhere. She shook it off. She was being completely ridiculous. He had probably just gone to the washroom or outside for a breath of fresh air. It  was like a sauna in here. When the song finished, Liz squeezed Maria’s hand before her friend left her to go rejoin Michael. She noticed Kyle still watching the gym doors, the ones that led out into the school proper. He seemed upset. As Liz watched, he obviously came to some sort of decision, because he started towards the doors, the tension in his body evident to Liz even from where she stood. She moved towards him, meeting up with him right as he was about to go out into the hallway. "Hi, Kyle!" Liz said, a slightly questioning look on her face. She hoped that he would tell her what was wrong, because clearly something was. "Oh, Liz! Hi." Kyle was distracted though. He seemed to desperately want to go through those doors. "Where’s Tess?" Liz asked. "That’s what  I’m wondering," Kyle replied. "Have you seen Max?" Liz continued, feeling another chill for some reason that she didn’t understand. "Nah." Kyle shrugged. "Hey, listen. Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?" he asked, seeming to have come to some sort of decision. He turned his back deliberately on the doors he had seemed so eager to go through only moments before. He placed a finger between his collar and his neck, pulled on his bow-tie as though it was strangling him. Liz didn’t really. She wanted to find Max. She wanted to dance with him, but she could see that Kyle was really upset about something. He was her friend after all. If he didn’t want to be alone, the least she could do was spend a few minutes outside with him. "Okay." Liz linked her arm through his, letting him lead her back across the gym and out onto the patio beyond. "So, we haven’t had much of a chance to talk lately," Liz said quietly, when she and Kyle sat down at one of the picnic tables that graced the patio. "How are things?" "Good, good." Kyle still seemed tense. He stood up abruptly. "Let’s walk," he suggested. "I have all this excess energy. I need to get rid of it." Liz frowned slightly, but stood up. "Kyle, is everything okay?" "Not really," he muttered. His head was lowered as they walked, and he had shoved his hands into his pockets, pausing when Liz reached down to take off her sandals because they weren’t really meant for walking on grass. He glanced up at her suddenly, and asked, "Liz, have you ever had the feeling that someone was drifting away from you, and you had absolutely no idea why?" Liz smiled wryly, thinking of the trouble she and Max had recently gone through simply because they hadn’t communicated. "I think I have," she replied. "Is something wrong between you and Tess?" "I just don’t know." Kyle sounded upset. "She’s been so great lately, but tonight…something was just off. I got the distinct impression that she didn’t want to be here with me." Liz reached out, took his hand, and squeezed. "I’m sure you’re just imagining things," she tried to comfort him. "Anyone with eyes can see that Tess is crazy about you." It was true. It was the reason Liz had come so close so many times to letting Max tell Tess the truth - that he and Liz were back together. And yet…Something always held her back. Some small certainty that telling Tess the truth would be disastrous. "Last week, I would have agreed, but lately…She’s just been different. Ever since the hostage thing at the Museum actually…." He trailed off, shaking his head uncertainly. They were both quiet for a moment, Liz reflecting on the fact that it had been at the UFO Museum that Max somehow managed to remember Tess from their past life. Could the same thing have happened to Tess? Was that why she was drifting away from Kyle? And how had Max remembered anyway? He had never explained that. Suddenly a chill descended Liz’s spine. She needed to find Max - immediately. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she just  had to see him. Now. Liz realized that she and Kyle had wandered about half way around the school grounds, and were actually closer to the front doors of the school now than they were to the gym. "Let’s go back to the gym," Liz suggested, trying to sound calm. "We can have a dance." Kyle sighed heavily. "Okay." He shoved his hands into his pockets again, following Liz closely, although she had picked up her pace. By the time they rounded the corner to the hallway that led to the gym, she was almost running. When she reflected on it later, Liz realized that, somehow, she knew what she was going to see when she found Max. She didn’t know  how she knew, but she did. She skidded to a stop, still barefoot, her sandals swinging from her hand. She dropped them instinctively as the sight in front of her came into focus. Her vision blurred, she stumbled, feeling bile rise in her throat. She turned on her heel and ran back the way she had come. She passed Kyle, who called after her, worry in his voice. He cut himself off abruptly when he saw what she had just seen. Liz thrust the doors to the school open, and took great gulping breaths of air. She brought her hands up to her temples, pushing against them as though she could crush away the memory of it. Max kissing Tess. Not just kissing her - practically inhaling her, his hands up cupping her face, kissing Tess the way he had always kissed Liz…hungrily, lovingly, like he never wanted to stop. She was on her knees in the grass, swaying gently, rocking herself, trying to understand what she had just seen, how everything could have gone so horrifically wrong. She felt a light touch on her back, realized that it was Kyle almost immediately. "Liz?" "I slept with him. Tonight." She didn’t understand why she told him, but the horror of the entire situation was such that she had no control over herself. She just needed to purge everything. There was complete silence for what seemed like forever. "That bastard." Kyle sounded so livid, Liz looked up at him despite herself. His face was a mask of rage. "I’m going to kill him." "No, Kyle. Please. I need you." He was down on his knees beside her in an instant. She threw herself against him, felt great, wracking sobs beginning to erupt from within her. She had never felt pain like this before - not when she had to leave Max at the pod chamber, not when she had seen the look on his face when he caught her in bed with Kyle. It felt as though it was going to destroy her, that she literally would be unable to survive under the weight of her grief. "I’m taking you home," Kyle said evenly, helping her up. When she stumbled, he simply swept her up against his chest and carried her to his car. Liz sensed all this at a great distance. She could feel herself slipping into some nether world where the pain dulled slightly, where she knew what had happened, but where she could bear it. She stayed there through Kyle dropping her off, through him asking if she wanted him to stay, through telling her parents that she had had a wonderful time. The nether world only shattered when she was wrapped in a blanket on her balcony, staring up at the cold stars, up at the stars that had sent her destroyer disguised as her true love. All that was left was rage. She hated him. With every fiber of her being, she hated him. He had lied to her, had promised her things that he had no intention of ever giving her. She had given herself to him and he had betrayed her the exact same day. Liz’s head came up in disbelief when his voice suddenly penetrated through the miasma of rage and grief. "Liz? Are you up there?" Did he really have the gall to come and see her after what he had done? She didn’t move, could  not budge. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him. She never wanted to see him again. And, yet, she was not surprised when his dark head appeared over the edge of the balcony, complete confusion and dismay on his face. "Liz? Are you okay? Are you sick? You left. What happened?" She turned away, letting her hair fall across her face as a barrier between them. "Go away," she ordered. "I have absolutely no desire to talk to you." The silence that followed was so complete that Liz actually wondered if he had left. But she knew he hadn’t. "Liz, what’s wrong?" He actually sounded hurt, confused. That he could so coldly betray her and then pretend that nothing was wrong…He was worse than a bastard. He was evil. " Go away!" Liz almost screamed. "If you don’t, I’m going to get my dad…or…or call the sheriff." She glanced over at him. He was staring at her, the expression on his face completely blank, like he didn’t know what to feel. Because he had no feelings. "Liz?" he almost whispered it, his voice cracking slightly. "Please tell me what’s wrong." She scowled at him. "I saw you. I saw you, Max!  Again! With her." He looked truly bewildered. "With who?" "With Tess!" "What? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Liz." He took a step towards her, raising his hand pleadingly. "Kyle and I both saw you, Max. You were kissing her. Right outside the gym." Max stared at her. "Liz, are you okay?" She wrenched away when he reached out to touch her. " Go away! I mean it, Max. I never want to see you again." "Liz, this is insane!" Max yelled back, clearly on the verge of almost losing it. "I didn’t kiss Tess. I swear I didn’t!" She almost believed him. He sounded  so sincere. But then that was Max. He always did. "I saw you," she repeated mutinously. "Liz, it has to have been a mind-warp." Max’s voice was back to a normal pitch. "Please. Think about it. I have no idea why she’s doing this, but she’s trying to split us up!" Liz glared at him. "Max, she doesn’t even know we’re together! Why would she even think she has to split us up?" Max blinked, looking perplexed again. "I don’t know. Maybe she  does know?" Liz shook her head. "No. I saw you." "Liz, please!" He sounded like he was about to burst into tears. She turned her face away. "Go away." There was another long pause. And, then, he did. It was only when he was gone that her irrational rage drained out of her, so quickly that she knew that it had  not been her, just as it had  not been Max kissing Tess. She knew it with every fiber of her being. Suddenly, her panic was absolute. She had to find Max before he did something they would both regret for the rest of their lives. Because neither of them was in any sort of control of their actions. She had completely devastated him - had watched herself do it - knowing that someone was controlling her the entire time, but she had been unable to stop it. He wasn’t at home. Liz climbed through his window, and sat down on his bed to wait. She wasn’t going anywhere until she spoke to him again. He was gone so long that Liz actually fell asleep, waking only when she felt his touch on her hair. She opened her eyes, preparing herself to apologize, to throw her arms around him, to kiss the hurt away. But one look at his face, at the guilt and horror etched there and she knew. Liz knew that Tess had won. She didn’t know how or why. But she had won.

Posted: **Tue Jan 25, 2005 9:55 pm**

Aaack...this is where I left off...come back!!!! <div style="text-align:center"> When I am out there, in time, I am inverted, changed into a desperate version of myself.</div> <div style="text-align:center">Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.</div> <div style="text-align:center"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/ ... forme2.bmp" style="border:0;"/></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrea ... D=50.topic" target="top">Second Chances - Nominated for Roswell AU</a></div> <div style="text-align:center"><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrealmfrm71" target="top">More Info Here</a></div>

Posted: **Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:22 am**

Part 15 - Another Time, Another Life - Section E He told her slowly, haltingly, what had happened. About half-way through the story she moved away from him despite herself. She wanted to comfort him - after all, it was not  his fault, what had happened, but hers. She had  let it happen - and yet, she could not touch him any longer. "When I left you, I couldn’t even think straight. I just drove around." His voice was low, desperate. "I ended up at that old observatory - the one we went to on that field trip last year. I  knew that Tess had mindwarped you somehow, and I had no idea how to prove it to you. You were so angry, Liz. I’ve never seen you like that." "I’m sorry." She said it, not really meaning it, because she knew that it had not been her. Someone, something had played on her emotions, making her over-react to what she had seen, making her forget what she knew about Max in the deepest part of her soul. She knew that he would  never make love with her, and then turn around and kiss another girl two hours later - even it if was Tess. And she had allowed herself to believe it anyway. Even his words when he came to see her had only confirmed what she already knew. It had not been him. And, yet, she had  still  allowed herself to believe it. Her eyes would not lie to her after all. She had allowed it, even though she knew about Tess’s gift, had seen the true evidence of its power more than once, recently even, at the UFO Museum. She suddenly understood perfectly what Max had been going through in the first days after he had "caught" her in bed with Kyle. She had never really comprehended what it must have felt like to  know in your heart that something was a lie, and, yet, to have to believe it because you had seen it with your own two eyes. The mind-warp was the most evil of all the aliens’ powers - even more so than Michael’s detested ability to kill without even touching. How could they have not realized that Tess’s gift displayed exactly what kind of monster she really was? "Don’t apologize. Please." Max closed his eyes. His elbows were on his knees and he brought his face down into his hands. "Liz, you came to me at the observatory." "What?" Liz felt her heart in her throat. Could this be even worse than she had ever possibly imagined? "What do you mean?" "I…I was there, just looking through the telescope, wondering how I could prove that Tess was evil…and you came." Max looked up at her, his dark eyes shining with unshed tears. "I was just about to leave. I was going to go to the sheriff’s, to confront Tess, to make her admit the truth to you, when suddenly you were there." He paused, a grimace of self-disgust passing over his face. "I didn’t even question how you knew where I was. You kissed me, apologized, and I believed it was you. But, it was her. I didn’t know, until…after." It was at this point that Liz moved away from him, wrapping her arms around her middle, her entire body suddenly overcome with such cold, she felt like she was freezing to death from the inside out. "After what?" She knew, of course. But she was going to make him say it. Until he said it, it would not be real. This complete and utter disaster would not be real. "Liz, I slept with her." He said it quickly, as though the words made him want to be sick, which she was pretty sure they did. "I woke up afterward." He was speaking mechanically now, just trying to get it all out. "It was morning." Liz looked out his bedroom window, saw that it was indeed after dawn, the sun shining weakly in the morning sky. "And  she was there." His voice cracked. "You weren’t anywhere. And she told me what happened. I came home, and you were here, and I knew that she was telling me the truth." Liz tilted her head back, letting herself fall back onto his bed. She stared up at the ceiling. "Why?" she whispered. "Why did she do this?" "She knew," Max replied. "She knew that we were back together. She said that she found out the night of the hostage thing at the Museum." He paused. "I never told you, but I went to see her that night. I had gotten some flashes from Brody when I healed him, flashes that made me remember some stuff. I had to go to see her that night…" "To see if they were real," Liz finished. Max allowed himself to flop back on the bed too. They were not touching, but she could still feel the bond between them, could feel it pulling her towards him. It made her want to lay her hands on him, comfort him. She sat up abruptly. "Yeah. And we connected that night. Like you and I did, right after I healed you…and I saw things and I knew that my memories were real." She turned to look down at him. He was now the one staring sightlessly up at the ceiling as he continued, "She told me that she had seen it then, when we connected." "Kyle said she was acting weird all week," Liz told him. "She must have been biding her time," she added, suddenly furious because Tess had used Kyle all along, making Max believe that she wasn’t interested in him. She had just been using the oldest trick in the book though. She had been trying to make him jealous. But it hadn’t worked because he was with Liz. And, so, she resorted to outright deception. She had pretended to be Liz and she had seduced him. "Liz…" Max sat up again, tentatively reaching out, but stopping short of touching her. "I can’t even say I’m sorry. It is just totally not enough. I…I don’t even know where to start to make this up to you." He looked away, down at the floor. "I…I would totally understand if you wanted…" He paused, swallowed, hard. "Wanted to break up with me." "NO!" Max’s head jerked up. Liz threw herself at him desperately. "NO! That’s what she wants. No. No. No." And she knew it was true. Tess had done this to break them up. The last thing Liz was going to do was let her win that way. "No, Max. No. It wasn’t your fault." She knew it wasn’t. Liz could still feel the devastation in the pit of her stomach that this had happened, but Max was not to blame. He had been tricked, in fact, in some horrible way, he had almost been raped by Tess. He needed her. Max’s hands came up, wrapping themselves in her hair. "But Liz, how can you forgive this? I almost couldn’t get past the Kyle thing and that wasn’t even true. I can’t let you do this." He was actually crying. She could hear the pain, the guilt in his voice even though she could not see his face. Liz hugged him against her, willing him to take comfort from her. "I don’t care! Max, I don’t care. She can’t win! No. You’re mine." She sobbed it into his neck, winding her arms around him, plastering her body against his. He didn’t reply, just let her cling to him. She felt him shivering under her, but it gradually stopped as they continued to sit on his bed, neither wanting to let go. The cold was closing in. But, as long as they were together, they could stay warm. Liz’s mind was not working coherently anymore, the combination of her grief, and horror, and pain, as well as heavy fatigue finally settling into her bones, all joining together to cloud her mind. But this she knew. Only as long as they were together could they keep the cold away. *** It only got worse. At first it looked like it was going to work. That they could pretend that nothing had happened. Because that’s what they did for almost an entire week after the prom. Max and Liz were openly back together. After all, there was no need to hide anything anymore. Maria, and Alex, and Isabel, and Michael were ecstatic (although Michael refused to admit it, Maria told Liz it was true). Things were going back to normal, back to the way they were supposed to be, the way they  had been before the whole destiny/Future Max disaster. But things were not all right. Max and Liz were affectionate in public, both pretending that everything was perfect. It was only when they were alone that the distance that was springing up between them became clear. Max could not get past his guilt. Liz had forgiven him. She knew she had, but he could not believe it because he could not forgive himself. And so, when they were alone, they sat in silence, and said nothing, and let the cold continue to settle in. No one knew what had become of Tess. She completely disappeared. Liz broke the news to Kyle a day after it had happened, only because she felt that he had the right to know the truth about Tess, so that she wouldn’t be able to worm her way back into his good graces. They told no one else. No one else needed to know. And, then, Tess showed up in the Crashdown a week later and told Max she was pregnant. None of them wanted to believe it at first. They were all there when she said it, sitting at the counter or at a booth in Liz’s parents restaurant, looking over pictures from the prom. Maria was sitting on Michael’s lap, Isabel had her head on Alex’s shoulder as she giggled over some joke he had told her. Max and Liz were sitting at opposite ends of the counter. Liz was looking at a picture of Alex, and Isabel, and Michael, and Maria, and Kyle, and…Tess, that Mrs. Deluca had taken before the prom. She and Max should have been there, but they had been in the desert making love under torch light, knowing that nothing could ever split them up again. Kyle, who was sitting beside her, grabbed the picture out of her hand and turned it upside down, looking back at her, his eyes burning with pity and rage. She should not have told Kyle the truth. Because he hated Max now. Even though none of it was Max’s fault. It was in that instant that the bell over the door leading into the Crashdown rang, making them all turn their heads as one. Tess stood in the doorway, her hands clasped in front of her, her expression unreadable. Liz felt Kyle tense beside her. For her part, she could not move. She could not even look at Max, who she was sure was dying inside at the sight of her. Either dying or getting ready to kill her with his bare hands. Because he had told Liz last night, as they had sat on her balcony, not touching, that he wanted to. He wanted to kill her, and if he had the chance, he would. It was the first time any of them had seen her since the prom. And since she did not know the truth, Maria stood up, welcoming her, beckoning her to join them; Maria, who had always despised Tess because she stood between Max and Liz, but now that Max and Liz could be together, there was no need to hate Tess anymore, was there? Tess shook her blonde head. Liz wondered when it had started raining, because when Tess’s hair moved across her shoulders it sent water raining around her small body. "I need to talk to Max. Alone," she said quietly. Liz felt a lump rising in her throat, but forced herself to look at Max. He was staring at Tess, his face completely blank. But his eyes were burning with hate so strongly, for a moment, Liz feared for him. Hate of that magnitude was not an inherent part of Max Evans’s make-up. It was just  not him. He was destroying himself over this. "Ah! No secrets!" Alex joked from the booth where he sat with Isabel. "We’re all friends here." Liz looked in their direction, and could see that Isabel was frowning slightly, like she was becoming aware that something was distinctly wrong. She saw Max’s sister stare at her brother, worry beginning to appear on her pretty face. She pinched Alex lightly, as though to quiet him. Because, when Liz turned back to Tess, she could see Tess openly  glaring at Alex, like she hated him. But Liz had no time to reflect on this, because in the next instant Tess laughed bitterly and said, "Okay then. Everyone’s going to know soon anyway. Surprise, Max!" Tess’s face was a mask of triumph so abruptly, it made Liz freeze. She felt Kyle reach out, and grab her by the arm, as though in support for what they both knew was coming. "You’re going to be a daddy." The silence that followed this statement was so complete, Liz wondered inanely if anyone was actually breathing anymore. She knew  she wasn’t. In fact, her heart had stopped beating the minute Tess walked through the door. She had known, even then, that her entire world was about to end. It was Michael who finally said what they were all thinking. He turned to look at Max. "Maxwell, what the hell is she talking about?" It was as though his words suddenly woke everyone else up. Maria slid off Michael’s lap, and came to stand beside Liz. Alex stood up, near the booth, the shock on his face only enhanced on that of his girlfriend, who stayed seated and simply said, "Max?" "It’s true." Tess smirked at Liz. "You two can pretend all you want, but this baby is real and it’s coming and it is Max’s." "Get out." Two simple words from Max. He was no longer looking at her, but down at the counter, his entire frame rigid with the effort to control himself. Liz wanted to go to him, to support him, but she could not move. She was frozen inside and out. "But that’s not all, Daddy," Tess continued, as though she had heard nothing. It was almost like she was on a death mission, Liz reflected later, like she  wanted Max to kill her, like it would be the final triumph. Game. Set. Match. "The baby’s dying. I connected with it this morning. It can’t survive here." Liz watched a tremor pass through Max’s body. "Max, can this be true?" It was Isabel asking, but they were all looking at him, waiting for him to acknowledge that he had slept with Tess, that she was not lying. Liz knew what they were really waiting for. They were waiting for him to take responsibility, to help Tess. Because they didn’t know. The did not know what Tess had done. Only Kyle knew. And now there was a baby, and it was innocent, and it was dying. Liz could feel Maria’s eyes on her, like she didn’t understand why Liz was not breaking down, why she was not freaking out. But it was too late for that. "You’re lying," Max said simply. Liz watched Tess’s eyes widen, like she couldn’t quite believe he was actually saying the words, that he was truly going to leave her alone and pregnant. But Tess did not understand. She did not understand that she had destroyed Max Evans when she tricked him into sleeping with her. Because the Max Evans she wanted was the Max Evans who  never would have slept with her, who never would have betrayed Liz Parker. This Max Evans was lost. He did not understand himself any more, did not know how he could have done what he had done. Liz had known it for a week, ever since the day he told her what had happened, when they had clung together, trying to shut the world out. But the world insisted on getting in. The guilt insisted on claiming him. Tess tried again. "Max, it is your child. I know you hate me, but you have to love this baby. It is  yours. It is your heir. I’m your wife." Liz became aware of a tapping sound down the length of the long corridor from which she seemed to be watching this entire farce play out. She glanced over at Kyle. He was tapping his fingers against the counter, almost impatiently. He didn’t seem to be listening to the conversation at all anymore, had completely tuned out, to protect himself from the fact that everything Liz had told him was true - that  his Tess had really tricked Max Evans into sleeping with her. That she was truly lost to him. "It is not mine. I refuse it." Liz heard Isabel gasp. She understood why. Max sounded like some sort of medieval king with those words. Because in those words, what they all heard was, "It is mine and I refuse to take responsibility for what I have done." Liz was not shocked. He was no longer Max. Tess had killed what Max had been. He was not the same. But she loved him anyway. And, so, Tess turned and left. But before she left, she said, "I know you’ll change your mind. I’ll be at the Valentis’." Kyle flinched at that. He stopped tapping. "Okay, what the hell just happened here?" Michael demanded. "Max, has that chick gone psycho? We know that you and Liz have been back together for ages." Max blinked at that, but did not answer. "What is she talking about?" "Leave it alone, Michael." Max sighed wearily. He turned and dropped his elbows onto the counter, his face into his hands. And still Liz could not move. "Valenti?" Michael turned to Kyle, the only other person who might feasibly understand what was happening. But Kyle stood up and walked out of the Crashdown, without another word to anyone, although he squeezed Liz’s shoulder as he left. Liz managed to stand up too. Because she was becoming increasingly aware that there was only one way to save  her Max from the distant, guilt-ridden person he was becoming. She was going to have to be the strong one - again. "Max, come with me," she ordered. He did not protest, but followed her through the swinging door to the kitchen. She heard their four friends all start talking at once, as soon as the door swung shut behind them. "I am so sorry, Liz," he said mechanically. She turned to him, and wrapped her arms around him, really touching him for the first time since the morning after the disaster. She realized now that the reason they had both been distancing themselves from each other was because they were waiting for the other shoe to drop. They had both known that Tess would not stop at what she had done, that there had to be a greater purpose. It had happened. And, to save Max, there was only one route to take. "You know that you are going to have to find a way home," Liz whispered to him. "You’re going to have to find a way to make sure she’s telling the truth, and then you are going to have to help her." "No." He said it mutinously, but she could tell by the tone of his voice, and by the way that his hands stilled against her that he knew it was true. That he would do it for her. He would save himself - for her. And, so, Liz said the words that they knew she would. "It’s your child, Max. It doesn’t deserve  her as a mother. And if it can’t survive here, then you have to take her away." "I can’t leave you." "You have to." She pulled back, reached up, and stroked his face. "But you’ll come back to me." The real Max would come back if he took responsibility and did what had to be done. The shell that he was now - the guilt-ridden shell that could not forgive himself - she did not want it. She wanted the real Max back. *** Within hours they knew the truth. Liz went with Max to the Valentis’. Kyle was there too, watching from the shadows of the living room, as Max connected with Tess, touching her as though he was touching a snake. Liz wasn’t sure where the sheriff was. Liz knew that Max had connected with his child when he pulled back, an amazed expression on his face. Tess looked triumphant, although her expression wavered slightly when Liz did not even flinch. "It’s a boy," he told Liz, a smile breaking out over his face despite himself. Liz smiled sadly at him. The healing of Max’s soul was beginning already. Because she knew, from the expression on his face, that he accepted the child. That he loved it. That he would go. But, at the very least, he would still be hers. "And he’s dying," Max acknowledged, standing up, taking Liz by the hand, and ignoring Tess completely. He looked back at her only once before they left. "I’ll find a way back there. He will live." Tess just stared at him, expressionless, seemingly unable to believe that he was just going to leave her sitting there. Kyle seemed to understand though. "I’ll make sure she doesn’t do anything to herself," he promised quietly as he followed them out onto the porch. Liz knew he was saying it more for  her benefit than Max’s, but he understood what was going on. Tess was a vessel for Max’s son, but Liz was its mother. Plain and simple. All three of them knew it, and all three of them accepted it. Except  fate did not accept it. The next blow came out of nowhere, and was so unexpected, the trio could not have been aware that within twenty-four hours, everything would have changed again. Because, the very next day, Alex Whitman died.

Posted: **Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:33 am**

okay, first, I HATE Tess. hate hate hate, pure, unadulterated HATE, and second how could you leave it like that. Alex...no no no, Alex can't die <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/frown.gif ALT=":("> <center><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrea ... =188.topic" target="_new">What if Max had healed Maria instead of Liz?</a> It all started with a boy, a girl, and a silver handprint.</center> <center><a href=http://pub84.ezboard.com/bmajiklmoonsrealm><img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/ ... a></center>

Posted: **Wed Jan 26, 2005 10:50 pm**

Author's Note: I'm afraid Alex HAS to die. The alternate timeline somehow has to end up worse than the one that was post-Depature. Sigh. It was hard to kill him again, but unfortunately, there was no way to avoid it and fix the debacle that was left to us post-Departure. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/frown.gif ALT=":(">  Part 16 - Into the Fire - Max POV  Mother teach me to walk again. Milk and honey so intoxicating. I’m reunited. Into the fire, I am the spark. Into the night, I yearn for comfort. Open the doors that lead on into Eden. Don’t want no cheap disguise. I follow the signs marked back to the beginning, No more compromise. And into the fire, I’m reunited. Into the fire, I am the spark. Into the night, I yearn for comfort. Fuel the water that carries me to the sea. You I see as my security. Into the fire, I'm reunited. Into the fire, I am the spark. Into the night, I yearn for comfort. I will stare at the sun until its light doesn't blind me. I will walk unto the fire until its heat doesn't burn me. And I will feed the fire. Into the fire, I'm reunited. Into the fire, I am the spark. Into the night, I yearn for comfort. Into the fire. Sarah McLachlan I know that, in my hand, I am holding the key to everything. I hear Isabel gasp behind me. "Max! Why is that still here?" "It’s the granolith," I say, sure I am right, amazed that I know it. "What?" This comes from Michael, who reaches around and grabs it from me. "That thing we sent Tess off in was the granolith." "I thought we agreed to call  her the murderess from now on," I hear Maria mutter from nearby, but she isn’t really talking to anyone. I notice Kyle flinch at it though. I stare at the crystal sitting in Michael’s hand. We are  all staring at it. "I think Max is right," Isabel whispers finally. "I remember it." I begin to shake my head. "How could we have been so stupid?" I ask Isabel. "Lonnie told me in New York that the granolith was some sort of religious icon - like the holy grail. Why on Earth would our planet worship a spaceship? This  has to be it." "Wait! Wait." Michael holds his hands up, almost dropping the crystal in the process. Isabel takes it away from him, glaring. "If this is the granolith, what the hell does it do?" "I think…" I pause, searching my mind frantically. When I first touched it, I knew instantly what it did, but the memories from that other life have already begun to fade. "I think it has something to do with time. Timelines," I add when everyone just looks at me like they have no idea what I’m talking about. I don’t blame them. I don’t think  I know what I’m talking about either. But I do know that this crystal is here because it has something to do with Liz’s disappearance. Isabel and Michael are looking at each other, both with frowns on their faces, like they too are trying to remember exactly what it is we know about this relic. I almost can’t believe that we didn’t try this before - to actually  remember. Although the one time I did remember, with Tess, it led to disaster, it still is the easiest way to actually get answers. But, then, we have never been in the habit of taking the easy road - or the logical road for that matter. Leapers - that’s what we all are. Supremely ironic, but true. Always thinking we’re cautious, but we’re all really impulsive and head-strong. All three of us. The evidence of it stretches back in my memory like a long line of uninterrupted stupidity. Me healing Liz. I would never regret it, but there was no question it had not been the safest course of action. And then there were all those kids from Christmas. Oh yeah,  and going off to New York with Lonnie and Rath. Real smart, that move. I choose to not even address the subject of Tess. You know it, I know it. Let’s just move on. Then there’s Michael. Shall we list his offenses? There was the time he kidnapped Maria and took her to Marathon, not to mention his various and sundry other illegal maneuvers. You’d think that for someone who was trying to keep a secret, the least he could have done over the last two years was try and stay out of jail. But, apparently not. Even Isabel, the one out of all of us who most wanted to be human and thus wanted to keep our secret, has the weird tendency to put herself in ludicrous positions. Grant Sorenson for example. What the hell had  that been about? Both Michael and I knew that he was bad news from the get-go, but Isabel dated him anyway. I am beginning to wonder if this character trait that we all share - impulsiveness - but which is strongest in me, might not have been why I lost my throne in my last life. I remember what Larek told me at the summit in New York - that I was always impatient, never willing to wait to change things. I have been making all the same mistakes over again. I try to mold my life into what I want it be, rather than waiting for it to unfold as it is meant to, and I have screwed it up every time. It has only ever been Liz who looks before she leaps. It is why we compliment each other so well. Balance. It has always been about that with us. But even Liz has been known to do stupid things in the name of love. She  literally jumped off a bridge for me after all. Which only reinforces how strong she is - because jumping off a bridge was only a last resort for Liz. For me, it would have been the first choice. I realize now, more than ever, that I can never be the king my planet needs without her by my side. Which is why, I am guessing, Tess has taken her. To stop that. It is also probably why Khivar made a deal with Nasedo in the first place. Somehow he  knew that making me human was going to help me to find exactly what I needed to take back my throne. Liz. She’s  all I’ll ever need. "But what does it have to do with Liz?" Maria speaks up now. "Because I can tell that’s what you’re thinking, Max." It  is what I’m thinking, of course, but I don’t know why. Try as I might, I can’t remember exactly how the damn thing works. "Future Max used it to come back here." I am muttering to myself, trying to work it out. I see Isabel and Michael exchange a confused look, because, of course, they still don’t know about  that whole fiasco. "It activated the spaceship…" I look up. "And it was in Las Cruces. Alex had it when he was translating the book." "So back to Leanna?" Michael demands. "Back to the mysterious Lazar," I reply. "Or, as we know him better, Sean Deluca. We need to find him." "Find Khivar?" Isabel whispers. "Max, do you think we’re ready?" "We don’t know for sure that he’s Khivar," I tell her. "And the more I think about it, the more I’m sure he’s not." I pause. "There is something familiar about him, but it’s not  that." "Okay, clearly it’s time to split up again." The sheriff steps forward. He has been off the phone with Amy Deluca for several minutes and has just been listening quietly. "Amy doesn’t remember Sean at all anymore," he informs us. "It’s like he never existed." "Maybe Tess is too preoccupied with Liz to keep up the mindwarp." I shrug. "I still don’t understand how that chick can be this powerful, Maxwell," Michael speaks up again. "Wouldn’t we have known? And, if she is, does it mean we are too?" "I’m not sure that it’s all her, Michael. But, I think we might be." I know that I am right too. Even being in the presence of the crystal again…Now that I am aware of what it really is, I  feel stronger in some way. Like I have taken the first step back to who I used to be. Zan. But not just Zan. Zan plus something more. And I know exactly what that something more is. Because, as I take the granolith back from my sister, I feel her. Liz. This crystal will explain what happened to her. We just need to figure out how the hell it works. And what specifically it does. I know I am right that it can affect time somehow, but I don’t exactly understand how or why…And I need to know. "Splitting up sounds like a good plan," I tell the sheriff, because everyone is waiting for me to make a decision. "We need to find Sean. I don’t want anyone confronting him," I add. "We just need to find him." I carefully place the granolith in the inside pocket of my jacket. "What about Liz, Max?" Maria asks worriedly as we move towards the cars again. "She’s okay." I know I am right. The granolith, sitting right next to my heart, is telling me so. "But we have stuff to do before she can come back to us." "Stuff?" Maria asks perplexed. "Yeah." I smile sadly. "We need to find out exactly what the hell happened to Alex before she can - and we need to find my son." I know it’s true. It’s what my weird dream about Alex, and Sean, and Liz was trying to tell me. The pieces are finally coming together. "How do you know this, Max?" Maria is climbing into my parents’ car with me. I’m not really sure why - maybe being with me makes her feel closer to Liz or something. No one seems to want to argue about it though. I see that Michael and Isabel are together in Maria’s Jetta, and Kyle and the sheriff are in the Mustang. "Alex told me." She stops talking after this, like she’s not surprised.

Posted: **Wed Jan 26, 2005 10:58 pm**

*sniff* Alex *sniff* - if you say he must die, I'll believe it. btw, the only way, imho, to fix the post departure debacle is to go back to the EotW debacle and start from there <img src=http://www.majiklmoon.com/ezboardsmilies/lol.gif ALT=":lol"> Awesome update as per usual. Have i mentionedl lately that I'm elevating you to the status of fan fic goddess <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/smile.gif ALT=":)"> <center><a href="http://p199.ezboard.com/fmajiklmoonsrea ... =188.topic" target="_new">What if Max had healed Maria instead of Liz?</a> It all started with a boy, a girl, and a silver handprint.</center> <center><a href=http://pub84.ezboard.com/bmajiklmoonsrealm><img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/ ... a></center>

Posted: **Fri Jan 28, 2005 1:19 am**

Part 17 - Another Time, Another Life - Section F "God, Liz. How can you bear it?" Maria asked quietly, breaking the silence that sprang up in Alex’s room after Liz told Maria and Alex what was going on. It was the Saturday morning after Liz and Max had found out the truth about Tess's baby. She knew that Max was with Michael and Isabel somewhere, explaining to  them about Tess. They agreed that splitting up, humans and Czechs, might be the best idea, mainly because they really weren't in the mood for a giant blow-up, which was always entirely too likely when the six of them were together. And so, Maria lay with her head on Liz’s shoulder. Liz had her own cheek pressed against Alex’s chest, her eyes staring blankly at the television screen where  Spaceballs played. The movie was Alex’s in vain attempt to take Liz’s mind off of her problems, if only for a little while, although he hadn’t been quite sure what those  problems were when he started it. But when Liz finally told them exactly what had happened, that Max  had slept with Tess, even if only by accident; that the baby  was his, and that he was desperately searching for a way to get his former life bride back to their home planet to save the child, Maria and Alex both just sat in stunned silence for close to fifteen minutes, the silly antics of the movie seeming even more ludicrous playing into the horrible stillness. "I am so sorry, Lizzie." This was from Alex, whose breath was still coming in short puffs, even after his shock began to fade. Liz could feel how tense he was under her cheek. He was barely managing to keep his rage in check. Liz remembered the story Maria had told her about the time Alex punched Michael for hurting her. It made Liz worry that he was going to blame Max for all of this, even if it wasn’t his fault. In Alex’s mind, hurting either Liz or Maria, whether by accident or not, was unacceptable. Alex’s first loyalty was to Liz and Maria. It always had been, and always would be. Even his relationship with Isabel was too new and fragile to change that fact. Liz knew, with certainty, that if Alex had to choose between his two "girls" and any of the Czechs, even Isabel, he would choose Liz and Maria. Which made Liz feel even worse. Because she knew that she could not say the same. Ever since Max healed her that day in the Crashdown, she had always chosen  him, even over Alex and Maria. She had almost lost Alex over it in fact. She still sighed with relief knowing that their friendship had survived the whole secret that almost tore them apart. But she knew, deep down, that she would do it all over again if she had to. Max was her entire world. And keeping Alex aware of this fact was essential. Because Liz knew that Alex was presently right on the precipice. If he couldn’t deal with it, with the fact that Max had technically cheated on her, it was going to tear their group apart. He might never forgive Max for it, but he was going to have to  deal with it. Even the thought of a rift between her boyfriend and her best friend made Liz feel weak. They could not turn on each other now, not when they most needed each other. All of them. But Liz knew that Alex would make the right choice. He always did. It had been a long time since Liz just spent an evening alone with her two best friends. It was cathartic, comforting, reinvigorating. For once, she didn’t have to be the strong one. She was allowed to wallow, allowed to cry, allowed to voice her fear with Alex and Maria. She needed this more than she needed anything at the moment. "I love him," Liz replied simply. "And it wasn’t his fault. He needs me." There was another long silence, and then Alex spoke urgently, in a low voice. "But Liz, what about what  you need? A baby? It’s going to be around forever." "And I’ll be his mother." Maria sat up with a gasp. "Liz! You’re only eighteen years old! And were you  not the one who told me that I wasn’t ready to be a mother when I wanted to marry Brody, for Sydney’s sake?" "Maria, there is a difference," Liz retorted patiently. "You weren’t in love with Sydney’s father. I love Max. And I’ll love anything that is a part of him too. It’s not the baby’s fault that Tess is a lying skank." Maria brought her hands up around her mouth, clearly trying to hold in hysterical giggles. "Liz, I can’t believe you just said that!" She paused, then added. "Well, I can actually. Because it’s what  I’ve always said." "Well, it’s true, and you were right." Liz smiled weakly. Calling Tess names was not making her feel better though. "I still don’t like this - not a bit." Liz could feel Alex tapping his fingers lightly against her back. She frowned slightly, wondering why he seemed so impatient. Was he planning to go confront Max about this? Because Max had enough to deal with. He and Michael were presently attempting to translate the book that Tess had found in the Roswell Library the year before, in a vain attempt to figure out if they could get home. If all else failed, Max was ready to go to Larek, through Brody. But that was only going to be as a last resort. Liz knew that Max still had not forgiven himself for all Brody had gone through because of him. But if he had to, Max would do it. Now that he knew that Liz was behind him, now that he had accepted his son, he was not going to stop until he found a way to save him. "Alex, please. I need your support in this," Liz pleaded quietly. "I need you guys. I have to be strong for Max, but I can’t do it alone." Liz felt Maria take her hand, accepting her role readily. But then Maria was much more bonded to the whole situation than Alex was, even now, with the Isabel. Maria’s relationship with Michael was solid. It gave her what she needed. It was different for Alex though. Alex had managed to build something of a life for himself outside of the alien abyss, what with Sweden and his brief interlude with Leanna. He had shown that it  was possible - at least for him. Liz knew it was impossible for  her. She had been without Max, and had seen how wrong it was on every level, and she was unwilling to let anything stand between them again. But Alex could still save himself. Yet, Liz knew that Alex’s hesitation had nothing to do with himself. It was all about her, and what he was willing to watch her do, watch her give up. Liz could almost hear the wheels of indecision turning in his brain as he wrestled with his anger about the whole thing, wrestled with the question of whether he could continue to support something that he clearly thought was so dangerous and hurtful to Liz. Finally, he just sighed heavily and said, "Okay. If it’s what you want, Liz, then okay." She felt tears prickle her eyes, her relief so great, it felt as though a great weight was lifted off of her heart. "Thank you. You two are my best friends. I will always be grateful that I’ve been blessed with you." "Stuck with us is more like it," Alex joked, grabbing Maria and hauling her down on top of both of them, when she and Liz started to giggle. "You’re never going to get rid of us now, Parker. Uncle Alex is about to be born. I’m telling you, you and Max are going to regret it when I begin to take the little alien under my tutelage. I will mold him to my very image." He cackled wickedly. "Oh, Lord help us. He’s going to want to be in a band when he grows up, isn’t he?" Maria laughed. Liz just closed her eyes, enjoying the warm glow of acceptance and love that being with true friends could create. *** The crash of the tray falling from Maria’s hands resounded through the Crashdown, making Michael jump to his feet, and bringing Liz’s heart into her throat. They had all been meeting, Max and Michael filling them in on their progress regarding the journey back to Antar. Liz was quietly wiping down the tables while she listened to the cadence of Max’s voice rising and falling, wondering if she would forget what he sounded like when he was gone. She thought she wouldn’t, but as the decision was made that they were going to have to go to Larek, she knew it was only a matter of time until she was going to find out first hand. Tess was getting weaker by the day. Max was getting more desperate by the day. The baby was dying. They needed to get him off the planet as soon as possible. Which meant that every minute passing was a minute closer to Max leaving. But the sooner he left, the sooner he could come back to her. All of this had been whirling through her mind. And, so, Liz could not even register what was happening when Maria came crashing through the swinging door, the sheriff on her heels. She launched herself at Liz, nearly sending them both to the floor in her hysteria. They were all meeting. All but Alex, who had an appointment with someone from the Swedish exchange program that he couldn’t get out of. All but Alex… "There’s…there’s been an accident." Liz could barely hear the sheriff’s soft words over Maria’s sobs. Oh, my God. It was Liz’s last coherent thought before the cold finally took complete possession of her heart. She was unaware of Isabel’s shrieks, of Michael grabbing his sister, shaking her, having to slap her across the face to pull her back from wherever it was she had gone. She was unaware of Maria grasping at her like a lifeline, looking for some sort of comfort, where none existed. And then, her eyes very briefly met Max’s over Maria’s shoulder. She returned from the cold place. Somehow she came back. He could fix this. He looked lost, like he didn’t even know where to begin comforting her. But Liz knew. There was one chance to save this. There was one chance to stop the cold permanently. Her eyes locked with Max’s. He closed his own briefly, seemed to know what she was asking of him. A shudder passed through his body, but he swallowed, hard, then got up. "Take me to him." *** Liz wasn’t sure how she just stood with her arm around Maria, supporting her, as she watched Max walk towards the ambulance where Alex lay. All she felt like doing was running after him, ordering him to fix it, fix what they had broken when she and the future version of him messed with the timeline.  Fix it, Max. Fix it. But his gait was tentative, unsure. He didn’t think he could save Alex. Liz knew Max well enough to know this. Anger. At Max. At Present Max and Future Max. She knew it was irrational, but she felt it anyway. And it was better than the cold. Anything was better than the cold. He owed her this at least. He owed her her best friend. He had to be able to fix something! But he was back too soon. Much too soon. Liz had never seen his face so white, even when he had told her about what had happened between him and Tess. He looked like his entire world had ended. And he and Alex weren’t even that close. Liz felt bile beginning to rise in her throat. Oh, God. He came to her first, his hand outstretched, his gaze begging her to absolve him of the fact that he could not fix it. But suddenly Isabel turned, and was running, her sobs filtering back through the still night. Max’s gaze followed her, torn. "Go, Max," Liz ordered. She didn’t want him. He could not help her. Let him go after Isabel, where he could do some good. Maybe. "Liz, are you sure?" Max asked, his tone low, afraid. "It’s okay, Max." Valenti stepped forward. Liz felt the sheriff put his arm around her and Maria, turn them away. "Go after Isabel. I’ll take care of the girls." But Max could not take his gaze from Liz’s. "Liz…" "GO!" He blinked. And then he went. *** It was when the report came back that Alex committed suicide that Liz finally managed to come in from the cold. She allowed herself to remain numb for two days. She saw no one except Maria. And Michael. She let Michael come in, because Maria wanted him. She knew that Max wanted to see her. Michael even tentatively suggested it, but she rejected the idea out of hand. She could not handle Max right now - could not handle Max with his monumental problems, his immense guilt, and his inability to fix anything. But when Michael told them about the report, the outrage that burned through her veins thawed them, temporarily anyway. "It’s not true. It’s impossible." And so she began to investigate. She found the picture of Alex with Leanna, with Alex’s face cut out. She found the receipt with the strange numbers on it. She knew that Michael was following her around while she did it all, knew that Max had ordered him to, that he was worried about her. He did not try to follow her himself. Max got the picture. Max did not try to talk to her anymore - had not tried for a couple of days, at least since the funeral, where Liz sat motionless and frozen, pretending he wasn’t there. She ignored the tortured expression on his face, the despair in his eyes. He could have fixed it, and he didn’t. She had stood with him through thick and thin, through betrayal, had even lied, betrayed her own heart for a future version of him, and when she asked him to do one little thing for her, he failed. He had done this - that future version. By changing the timeline, they killed Alex. Alex was supposed to live. He was at Max and Liz’s wedding. And this Max could not even save him. She would never forgive him for it.

Posted: **Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:23 pm**

Part 18 - Another Time, Another Life - Section G "Liz, I really think you should see Max." Maria was curled up on Alex’s bed, pictures of their lost friend scattered around her. Mr. Whitman had let them in because she and Liz were working on a memorial spread for the yearbook, but they weren’t getting much accomplished. The talk had been all Czechoslovakian since they arrived, just like it always was. Liz was sitting at Alex’s desk, scanning through the files on his computer, looking for any sort of clue as to what he was doing in the months leading up to his death, anything of which they might have been unaware. Maria knew this, but, as usual, she was being distracted by concerns not of this world. Before, it would have been Liz who was distracted. She knew it, and it annoyed her now. Immensely. Both of their lives had centred around the aliens and  their problems for so long, they couldn’t even seem to take a break from it in order to honour Alex. It only made Liz’s inner rage burn more brightly. "No," Liz replied firmly. "I don’t have time to see him right now." And she didn’t. She had found her first concrete clue about what might have happened to Alex that morning. She finally heard back from the Swedish Embassy about the building in the background of the picture of Alex and Leanna. It turned out that it had been torn down years before, and did not even exist anymore, which meant that Alex had never had his picture taken there. It also meant that Alex might never have gone to Sweden. Now she just needed to figure out where he had been during those months, and she might finally be getting somewhere. "Liz, he’s losing it," Maria continued quietly. Liz tried to shut her out. She didn’t want to know about it. "Tess is getting weaker. If they don’t find a way off the planet soon, the baby is going to die." There was a long pause. "He needs you." Liz’s head snapped around. "He needs  me? When doesn’t he need me? When have I ever let  him down?" "Never, Liz." Maria looked pained. It made Liz even more angry that concern for  Max of all people was hurting Maria. Maria had enough hurt, with losing Alex. But Liz heard her underlying message. Liz was letting Max down now. She was letting them all down, by blaming Max for Alex’s death. Why did no one understand that  he had let  her down? But, of course they didn’t. Because they didn’t really understand that both she and Max were to blame for what had happened. Not this Max maybe, but  Max nonetheless. They didn’t understand that in that other time, Alex  lived. And now he was dead. Liz knew logically that it was not  her Max’s fault that Alex had died. Truly she did. But it didn’t stop the way she felt. She knew that she was going to have to deal with Max eventually, but she couldn’t do it now. Alex had always come second. Ever since Max saved her life that day, Liz had put everything else of import in her life second, including her best friends. Now she owed Alex. She owed it to him to make sure that his memory was not tarnished. She  knew that he hadn’t killed himself and she refused to allow anyone to say so. If it meant Max had to wait, then that’s what it meant. Maria was sighing. She picked up a picture of Alex off the bed and stared down at it. "What are you looking for really, Liz?" she asked after another long silence. Liz had turned back to the computer, and was still trying to hack into Alex’s e-mail. Liz turned her head. "Do you really want to know? Because this would be a lot easier with your help, Maria. You  know that Alex did not kill himself." "I know." Maria rubbed her eyes wearily. "I just don’t know what proving it is going to do, Liz. It won’t bring him back." "It might not bring him back," Liz retorted. "But isn’t the truth a better memorial than  this," she gestured towards the pictures disdainfully, "Can ever be?" Maria’s hands were twisting in her lap. She took a deep breath, glancing down at the pictures, then back up at Liz. "Yes. Okay. You’re right." Liz smiled for the first time in days. An intense feeling of relief flowed through her, making her lightheaded. It would be much easier with help. She was tired of being alone. This was something she and Maria should be doing together - for Alex. Maria pulled up a chair, and joined her at the computer. "How is reading Alex’s e-mail going to help?" she asked after a few minutes of Liz putting in possible passwords with no luck. "Wouldn’t it make more sense to use one of the e-mails he sent us when he was supposedly in Sweden?" Liz whipped her head around and stared at her. "You’re brilliant!" she exclaimed. Liz typed in her own e-mail address, pulling up her old messages. She clicked on one Alex had sent, then stared at it hopefully. Maria was shrugging and rolling her eyes. "Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration." She stared at the message, reading the words as Liz did. "He seemed so happy there," she finally said quietly. "Where do you think he was, really?" Liz grimaced. She was no computer expert. She didn’t even know where to start finding out where this e-mail had been sent from. Alex was the one who would have known how to find out. She felt tears filling her eyes at the sheer irony of it. Liz brushed them away impatiently. She had not cried over Alex yet, and she did not intend to until she had preserved his memory. "Lizzie, are you okay?" Maria’s arm had come around her shoulders. "It’s okay to cry you know." "No, it’s not." Liz stood up resolutely. "We need help, Maria. Who do we know who can figure this out for us?" "What about that guy Derek from Alex’s computer club?" Maria asked after a lengthy pause. Liz smiled again. "Perfect. You go see him." "What are  you going to be doing?" Maria asked, looking confused. "I’m going to see Tess," Liz replied. Something had just occurred to her, something she wanted to look into while Maria investigated the computer angle. The more she looked into Alex’s death, the more the entire thing seemed to be shaping up into something almost illusionary. Alex had believed that he was in Sweden - had truly  experienced Sweden. And who knew more about illusions than any of them? Tess Harding. Liz didn’t think for one minute that it would be easy to get answers out of her worst enemy, but it was worth a try. She did not, in a million years, imagine that she would run into Max there. If she had, she never would have gone. But when Tess opened the door at the Valentis, there he was sitting on the couch, looking for all the world like he had been there for a long time, and for all the world like he intended to stay there for even longer. Liz was in the process of trying to paste on a pleasant expression, hoping that catching Tess unguarded would help her cause. And so she had a half smile, half grimace on her face when Max jumped to his feet. Their eyes met instantly. The immediate expression of guilt that crossed his face at the sight of her only reinforced to Liz that something  very strange and  very wrong was going on. He clearly had no idea what to do or say. She saw a vein on the side of his neck convulse. It looked bad. Very, very bad. He knew it.  She knew it. Was Max hanging out with Tess now? This had to be some sort of bad joke. Cosmically bad. She just stared at him. She knew that her mouth was literally hanging open, but she couldn’t seem to make it close. When she looked at Tess’s face, at the triumph that she was making no effort to mask, Liz literally wanted to vomit. She turned on her heels and ran. There was nothing else to do. "Liz! Stop!" She should have known he would come after her. She didn’t want to stop, but she did. Because it would be easier in the long run just to deal with him now. It would be easier to deal with him now and get it over with. "Liz, please! It’s not what you think." She did not turn around. He was standing close behind her, like he wanted to reach out and pull her back into his arms, but couldn’t do it. His voice was low, desperate. "The baby…It’s dying, Liz. But we found out that if Tess and I are together, it…I don’t know... It feels better or something." There was a long pause. She didn’t say anything, just waited. "I know it sounds stupid, Liz, but we don’t understand anything about it. I connected with it again, and it seems to want me near it." " He wants you near  him," she said quietly. "We know he’s a boy, Max." He was touching her now, holding her by the shoulders, gently turning her around. "God, Liz. Why won’t you let me see you? I’ve been so worried about you." She stared at his chest, refusing to raise her eyes to meet his. She knew they would be pleading with her to break down the ice wall she had erected between them, but she just couldn’t do it. If she looked into his eyes she would see all the love that he felt for her, that she  knew that he had for her, because she had seen it when they had made the ultimate connection, what seemed like years ago, but was really only a couple of weeks. The connection they had made in the desert, when they completely gave themselves over to the fact that they knew they belonged together. They barely managed to steal those moments before Tess brought their entire world crashing down on them. It had showed her how he felt about her, had only reinforced how she had felt about him -  still felt about him if she was honest with herself. But Alex’s death changed everything.  They were responsible for Alex’s death. They did not deserve to be together, or happy. She could not let go of her rage. If she did, she would never be able to do what had to be done for Alex’s sake. "I think an alien killed Alex." Liz spat it out. She didn’t even know where it came from. It was the first time she even put the speculation into words. It had just been a tiny suspicion in the back of her mind, one that she had not even realized that she really had, until the words were coming out of her mouth. Hurting him. Deliberately. And the horror of it was that she knew now that it wasn’t because of Alex at all. It was because of Tess. Because he had been sitting on the couch at the Valentis, near her, for the baby’s sake, but near  her. She felt Max flinch away from her, like she had slapped him. Because, in a way, she had. The tone of her voice, the inflection, he had to know that she blamed  him. He was the alien she  really blamed for Alex’s death. "What…" He was choking on the words. "What do you mean? An a…an alien? Who? How?" "Alex thought he was in Sweden," Liz replied shortly, refusing to look up at him still, refusing to see the devastation she knew she was causing. "He wasn’t. It had to have been a mindwarp." There was a long pause as Max digested this. "Are you saying that you think Tess killed Alex?" he finally managed to ask, his tone low, strange. But she knew that  he knew that that wasn’t what she really thought. And so Liz didn’t answer. The inflection in his voice told her that he was beginning to wonder if she had gone insane. "Liz, please look at me. Are you okay? Liz, please,  look at me," he repeated, touching her chin lightly, gently forcing her to meet his eyes. "You have to know that Tess did not kill Alex." She just stared at him. She did know it. Finally she licked her lips and said, "So you don’t hate her anymore." Max blinked. "What?" "You don’t hate her anymore, do you? You’ve been spending time with her, and she’s fooled you again, even though you  know what she is, and what she did to you, and you don’t hate her anymore." "Of course I hate her," Max hissed. "She is driving us apart! Can’t you see that, Liz? And you’re letting her!" "No, Max. What  we did is driving us apart," Liz told him firmly. "We killed Alex. We may not have held a gun to his head, we may not have driven his car off the road, but  we did it." She could hear her voice beginning to rise hysterically. She was trying to stop it, trying to stay strong, but it was like she had no more control over herself. Seeing him with Tess like that, like they were a happy couple, sitting around waiting for their baby to be born, it was the last straw. She was beginning to let go of her thin hold on her self-control. She wanted to hit him, hurt him,  kill him, just like they had killed Alex. "Liz…" "It might not have been  you, Max, but it would have been eventually. Because if we hadn’t screwed with the timeline, that would have been  you who came back. And it was definitely  me. We did it. Alex is dead because of us." "Liz, this is crazy!" Max exclaimed. "Be mad at me because I couldn’t heal him if you have to be, but you can’t really blame yourself for this! There was no possible way you could have known this way going to happen! You had no choice. The world was going to end!" He ran his hands through his dark hair in frustration. She had a flash of her own hands sliding through that black softness, only weeks before, when he took her places she hadn’t even imagined existed until she went there in his arms. Liz closed her eyes, turning her back on him again. "I do, Max. Blame myself that is. And the problem is, while I have no choice in having to live with myself, I do have a choice where you’re concerned." She could not believe that she was saying these things. It was like she was standing outside of herself, watching as she hurt him, watching as she did her  best to hurt him. This was Max. And she hated him. But the horrible part was that she loved him too, and it made her hate him even more. She actually  felt the moment when he understood what she was saying to him. She felt the pain rip through him, as though she had shot him. But when he spoke, his voice was surprisingly calm. "What are you saying? Are you saying you want to break up?" "I’m saying I want us to stop pretending that this is going to work," Liz whispered, loud enough so that he could hear her. "You are going to go back with her, and it’s what’s meant to be, and I’m okay with it, because I will never get past what we have done." She wanted to walk away then. She really did. But she knew that he had the right to say something, anything to try and fix this. To fix  her. But he didn’t. He spoke, and she felt her heart stop, despite herself, because he truly sounded dead when he said, "I can’t believe you actually think this is going to make things better. Do you actually think that this is what Alex would have wanted? If you do, then I guess none of us really knew him at all. Because the Alex I thought I knew would not have wanted this. Not in a million years." And then he was gone. *** It was only when she managed to make it back to her room that she understood what she had done. She had broken Max’s heart, and she had broken her own. On purpose and without remorse. She still felt none of it. It was what had to be. They needed to be punished. Both of them. They did not have the right to be happy when Alex was gone. It wasn’t fair. He was not meant to die and they had killed him, and so she refused to allow them to be happy. Maria found her there hours later. She was excited. Liz stared at her, knowing that she was a zombie, but Maria didn’t notice because she had the information they needed. Las Cruces. Alex had been at the University of New Mexico for two months. So they went. They found Leanna, then lost her, then Michael found  them, and they found the book, which solved Max’s problem. It told them that the granolith could take them home. Alex had been translating the book, which gave Max, and Michael, and Isabel, and Tess a way home. And was killed because of it. Presumably by Leanna, who had to be an alien. The completely ironic thing was that Liz could not bring herself to care. She was right, Alex would be avenged, and all she wanted to do was go home, curl up in a ball, and die. But Leanna was not the  real killer. Oh no. That honour was reserved for her - and Max. Because now that she had proven that Alex’s death was not an accident, she had to begin to live with herself. There was no more quest to hide behind. And she could not live with herself. Michael told Liz that he and Max would take care of it, that he would tell Max everything, and that Max would probably want to see her later. Liz just nodded mechanically. No one knew what Liz had done, that she had deliberately broken her own heart and destroyed Max’s. He would  not be coming to see her. He would leave, and they would both suffer, and maybe it would be enough to assuage her guilt.  Do you really think this is what Alex would have wanted? Max’s voice haunted her, because she knew that he was right. There was no way that this is what Alex would have wanted, for her to deliberately destroy her only chance at happiness, because Alex had loved her. But it was what  she, Liz, wanted, because it was the only way she could live with herself. *** "They’re gone." Maria was at her window, peering in at her. Liz was lying on her back on the bed, staring straight up at the ceiling, wrapped in the frozen void she had somehow managed to reclaim. She had broken down, finally, the night before, but now the cold was back. It was comforting. Liz turned her head and took in her best friend’s tear-streaked face, the fact that she was wearing the same clothes that she was wearing yesterday when Liz last saw her, because Maria had come to her, demanding to know what she had done to Max, why he thought that she wouldn’t see him before they left. "Did he send you?" Liz had asked wearily at the time. "No. He told us to just leave you alone, that all you wanted was to be left alone," Maria snapped back. "I can see that he was right. You’re enjoying your pity party for one." And she left then, telling Liz that she wasn’t going to waste Michael’s last night on Earth with Liz, because Liz was throwing away the best thing that had ever happened to her, and if Alex could see her now, he would be ashamed. "Alex didn’t want me with Max!" Liz wanted to scream after Maria. But she knew, deep down, that this was untrue. Alex had only ever wanted her to be happy, had only ever wanted what  she wanted. It was Liz who wanted to make herself miserable. Now, as Liz turned her head to stare at the ceiling again, as she felt the bed dip beneath her when Maria joined her, angry at her still, but always her best friend, she felt Max’s loss like a physical pain. Funny how, even though it was what she wanted, if didn’t make her feel any better. "Oh God, Liz. It just hurts so much." Maria sobbed beside her. And, somehow, Liz found the strength to bring her arm around her, to try and comfort her. Because Maria should not be in pain. Maria had done nothing wrong. It seemed to work, because Maria stopped crying eventually. And so they were both lying there in silent, stunned grief that they were actually living through this, when the phone rang. It was Kyle. *** "Can’t you make this rust-bucket go any faster?" Maria was shrieking from the passenger seat of her mother’s Jetta. "It’s  your rust-bucket!" Kyle yelled back. "I still don’t understand this, Kyle. How did you remember all this?" Liz demanded from the back seat. How could every thing have changed again so quickly? How could Liz’s entire being suddenly be centred on the fact that Max’s life was in imminent danger? All she could focus on was getting to him in time to save him, but all she had wanted to do an hour ago was hurt him. How could this be happening? "I don’t know!" Kyle shrugged in frustration. "I was just sitting in her, my, whatever,  the bedroom, and I remembered! She killed Alex, and I saw her do it, and she mindwarped me to forget it!" The supreme irony was not lost on Liz. Max had flat out asked her if she thought that Tess killed Alex. She had not thought that, accepted that it was some random alien named Leanna, had never dreamt that it was  really Tess. But how could she not have known? Because she knew what Tess was, knew what Tess had done to Max at the prom. Yet, she had been so wrapped up in blaming herself, in blaming Max, that she let this crucial bit of logic fly right past her. And because of this fact, Max, and Michael, and Isabel were going to die. Because Tess was leading them into a trap. There was no other explanation for any of this. The whole pregnancy was a ploy to get them to take her home. She knew that none of them would ever go on their own. They needed a reason to do it. Max’s reason was the baby. Isabel’s was Max. And Michael’s was both of them. But maybe it wasn’t a trap? Liz reflected now, her mind clearer than it had been since before Alex’s death, since before the prom actually. It was crystal clear now, like it had been after she and Max made love for the first time, joining together, their souls intertwining, touching the stars and tapping into something that very few people likely ever experienced. And she had been willing to throw all of that away. Alex would never have forgiven her. What was she thinking? But maybe Tess was right. Maybe this was what was supposed to be? Max and the others were supposed to go back, and would be welcomed with open arms. Because wasn’t that what their mother’s message from the orb said all those months ago - that the planet was waiting for them to return and free them? Yet Liz knew this wasn’t true. Because if they were meant to go back, why had she and Max met? Why had their souls spoken to each other? And Liz understood. Alex’s death was all a part of it, a way to drive the wedge between them. It was diabolical, but it made perfect sense. Tess understood better than anyone, it seemed, that, in the end, Liz would not give Max up over simple betrayal of herself. It had taken the betrayal of her best friend for her to turn on him. And he hadn’t even done anything. Max had tried to heal Alex. He was a boy, could not bring back the dead, and was in no way to blame for what a future version of himself brought about through his meddling. Liz could blame herself, but she had been wrong to blame Max. She just hoped that she had a chance to tell him so. She glanced at her watch. According to Maria they were leaving at 7AM sharp. It was 6:50 and they still had ten more minutes at least before they reached the pod chamber. And, in the end, it was too late. She could not save him. There was a moment of breathless anticipation when she saw two figures standing on the rocks, below the pod chamber - or where the pod chamber used to be anyway. She gaped in amazement. The whole top of the mountain had been blown off, and was completely gone. Liz threw herself out of the car, running as fast as she could, knowing that Maria and Kyle were behind her. She recognized Michael and Isabel, staring off into the sky. Hope was filling her veins, pushing her on. He was still there. He had to be. Where was he? She scoured the rocks frantically, ready to throw herself at him, to beg his forgiveness. It was only when she reached Michael and Isabel that she saw their devastated faces. "He wouldn’t let us go. He shut us out of the pod chamber." Isabel was collapsing against Michael when Liz came to a dead stop beside them. "He left without us! How could he do this?" But Liz knew how. He had known. Somehow he knew what was going to happen. And he had gone anyway, leaving his sister and his best friend behind, refusing to take them to their deaths. He left to protect them all, believing that Liz hated him, and he was going to die thinking the same thing.

Posted: **Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:57 pm**

Fantabulous updates <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/smile.gif ALT=":)"> You are just totally incredible. The switches in POV are perfectly done, they dont' seem faked or forced, and the songs that preface each part are a perfect addition <div style="text-align:center">It's all about Roswell</div>

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Sins of the Father (CC,M/L,TEEN)Conclusion - Feb.19cc

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Re: Sins of the Father (CC,M/L,PG13) Part 18 - Jan. 29