Fan Fic and More

Part 8.

For Lisa and Nat. Y’all rock in so many ways, that I don’t know where to start. Thank you both for everything you have done for me this past seven months. And to everyone else, thank you so much for your patience and kindness during my time away. Love to you all.

“We are now approaching George Bush Intercontinental airport. Please make sure your tray table are in their up right position, and your seat belts are secure. Thank you for flying with us, and we hope you enjoyed your flight. Have a nice day now.”

Maria tugged her hat lower over her eyes and clutched her glasses tightly in her hand as she felt the plane begin its decent towards the ground. Her stomach rose up into her throat, and she swallowed hard as nausea made her stomach roll violently.

“Damn I hate to fly” she muttered softly, and closed her eyes she gripped the arms of her chair as the plane swooped down and landed with a thud. She muttered a soft curse, and swallowed once more. She stayed in her seat as passengers began to file off the plane, and spent that time making sure her honey curls were tucked up under her cowboy hat, before slipping on large glasses that covered half her face.

She waited until the plane was nearly empty before she stood up and stepped off of the plane. Disguise firmly in place, she walked quickly towards the luggage carousel to collect her bags. The airport was busy, Maria keeping her eyes trained firmly on the ground as she quickened her step. Within fifteen minutes, she had her bags in hand, and was stepping out into the sweltering heat of Houston.

"So far, so good" she muttered softly, her eyes darting left and right as she waited for Ava to pick her up.

While she was glad that her singing career was firmly on track, she was still wary of the paparazzi, and all the trouble that came with them. In New York, they waited outside of her home, and hid in her garage and went through her trash, looking for any information on her past. That was something that they never found. They knew she was from Roswell, but that was all. She was good at covering her tracks, and with Jim’s help, had buried most of her past.

Glancing at her watch, she sighed softly, and scanned the curb once more for any sign of Ava. She heard the honk of a horn, and glanced over her shoulder. It was with a sigh of relief that she saw Ava's cheeky grin flash. Lifting her bags, Maria headed for the truck, and threw her bags into the back of it. Climbing into the cabin of the truck, Maria slammed her door shut and looked at Ava with a grimace.

"I forgot how hot it gets here in summer,” she said by way of greeting as she removed her hat and tossed it on the floor between her feet.

Ava clucked sympathetically, and slid the truck into gear. Maria dramatically braced herself against the dashboard, causing Ava to level her with a look. Ava gave soft laugh as she took off out of the car park at neck breaking speed. Ava sang off key as she drove, her fingers tapping the steering wheel, and her blonde curls bouncing as she nodded her head in time with the music. The familiarity of Ava's boundless energy had Maria relaxing and closing her eyes with a sigh. Ava glanced at her, and spoke quietly.

"Talk to me Ria. What's troublin ya now?"

Maria opened her eyes and glanced over at Ava, once more taking the petite blonde in. She shared a bond with Ava, one that had been unexpected, and at the start? Unwelcome. But Maria had seen the goodness with in the troubled alien, and Liz had trusted her without question. So Maria had lowered her guard sightly, and that was all that Ava needed to crawl into Maria heart, and gain her loyalty. That and what was troubling her now.

"How's Alex Ava? I mean...what happened the other night?"

Ava sighed and glanced at Maria quickly.

"He broke Ria. Broke completely. He cried himself to sleep in my arms, and he disappeared this morning with Zan. He's so tied up inside, full of anguish and rage. He loves her ya know?"

"Who? Isabel?"

"Yeah...he misses her so much. He told me he loved her. Ya shoulda heard him sing Maria...god...I hate Tess for what she did. Not only to him, but to all of ya."

Maria glanced over at Ava in surprise, and watched as Ava’s jaw clenched in barely controlled fury. Maria reached out to touch Ava, and was surprised when Ava recoiled slightly.

“Don’t Ria. Don’t touch me. Not now. I’m too angry. Da bitch shares da same DNA as me. She looks like me…she sounds like me. How da fuck can ya even look at me?” Ava’s voice broke, and she started to slow down, her eyes blinded with unexpected tears.

Maria sighed, and reaching over, gently steered them off of the road and onto the shoulder of a sweeping bend. Ava let her hands slip from the wheel, her head falling back against the seat with a thud as she closed her eyes and scrubbed at them with the heels of her hands. Maria watched Ava try to compose herself for a moment, before she slipped across the bench seat, and pulled Ava gently into her arms.

Ava sighed as she rested her head against Maria’s shoulder, and closed her eyes again as a shudder swept through her body. She felt Maria run one hand down over her back, while the other rested against the back of her head. They sat in silence for a long moment, and when Maria finally spoke, her voice was hushed.

“Do you remember the first day you and Zan arrived in town? It was late, and you parked at the back of the Crashdown to keep your arrival hidden. Liz opened the back door once we had closed to put the rubbish out, and you called her name and stepped out of the shadows. It was the sound of breaking glass that bought Kyle and me running, and we could only stare at you as you stood under the streetlight.

“You looked terrified Ava. You hadn’t really changed all that much. Your hair was longer, but it still had the pink streaks in it. The black was gone though. You looked like a little raga muffin. Torn jeans, those clodhoppers you wear, and this tiny little black top. You had bruises on your arms, and your lip was split, and you were shaking in the cold. But you never lowered your eyes…not once.

“Kyle raised his voice, and stepped forward, and it was then and only then that Zan stepped forward, and it became obvious who you were…and who you weren’t. Liz was staring at Zan as if she had seen a ghost, which in a way, she had. Her heart was in her eyes and you saw it, because you spoke quietly, and told her who you were…just incase. That you needed our help. You knew the others were gone…you told us later that Nikolas had admitted it to you before you killed him.

“Kyle wasn’t having a bar of it though. ‘Why the hell would we want to help aliens who look like those who hurt us the most?’ Zan stepped away then and opened the car door, and when the light went on Ava? We could see Alex. Alive. Liz and me started crying, and Kyle charged over to make sure, and when he was? He cried too. And at that point, we had no choice but to trust you. The months went by, and we watched as Zan tried to save Alex. Day after day. And he succeeded.

“So yes. You look like Tess. You sure as hell don’t sound like her though. And you are nothing like her. You are good and kind and loving. You bought Alex back to us, not even knowing how much that would heal us all. Not even knowing if you could save him. You could have left him to die Ava. You could have left him in that warehouse and disappeared with Zan. But you didn’t.

“You recognised him. You remembered his face. And you bought him home, all the way from New York. We thought he was dead Ava. Had done for nearly six months. Michael, Isabel, Max and Tess were gone. It was only the three of us, surrounded by memories and ghosts. And here we were, faced with the past. Faced with the horror of what had happened to Alex. And you still could have gone then. But you didn’t.

“You stayed. You helped heal Alex. And while healing him, helped us all plan on what to do. We couldn’t tell anyone but Jim. It was Zan who contacted Cal. Cal who got us the bar at such a great price. So it’s because of you guys that we have Alex back. That we have the bar. The bar, which launched my singing career.

“So I don’t want to hear anymore of that shit come out of your mouth Ava. Tess is a demon spawn hell dog, who if I ever see again, I will personally tear each and every one of those blonde curls out of her head. You on the other hand? You are my best friend. You and Liz are the only women I trust in life Ava. And I love you like I love Liz.”

Ava was quiet for a moment, and then her voice reached Maria’s ears, her statement causing Maria to burst out laughing.

“Cornball much? Are we havin a hallmark moment?”

Ava pulled back and wiped her eyes, the laughter between them dying down. When she spoke her voice was soft, and it trembled slightly.

“I ain’t ever had friends before y’all came into my life. Zan aside. He and me had our own shit to sort out. And I used to watch you and Liz together. I was so jealous Maria. Y’all were so in sync with each other; it was like ya could communicate without words. I’d go to bed at night, and pray that I’d one day know what it was like to have friends like that. Put it this way…do ya remember this?”

Ava gripped Maria’ hand with in her own, and closed her eyes, Maria smiling as the memory played out behind her eyes.

“How do I look Maria?”

Maria sighed as she watched Liz slick some pale pink lip gloss onto her lips and fluff her hair out as they stood outside the front of Michael’s old apartment, where Zan and Ava were staying with Alex.

“Liz…this is a monumentally bad idea babe. That’s Zan in there…not Max. Max chose Tess chica…they left the planet remember?”

Liz’s face crumpled slightly. “But he looks just like Max Maria. I have to know…I have to know if we share the same connection.”

“He’s with Ava Liz. It’s obvious how much he loves her.”

“What? Do you think he’s following destiny too?”

“I don’t think destiny has anything to do with it Liz. Why don’t you talk to Ava?”

“I…I don’t know what to say to her Maria.”

“Start with the fact that you think you are in love with her boyfriend because he reminds you of Max.”

Liz’s eyes filled with tears again, causing Maria to sigh and pull her into her arms.

“You don’t know how I feel Maria. I loved Max…and he left me.”

“Yeah? Well I loved Michael. He took my virginity Liz, and left me too. Believe me babe, I know how you feel. Look…just talk to Ava Liz.”

“Ok.”

Liz reached out and opened the door, only to freeze in place when she looked within the dimly lit apartment. Zan and Ava were standing toe to toe arguing, to angry at each other to realise they had an audience. Ava jabbed Zan in the chest with her finger, her cheeks flushed with anger.

“Ya fucken lied to me Zan! Ya tell me ya love me, yet ya fucken lied to me for months man! Ya were cheatin on me to push me away? Bullshit! Ya were out on da prowl, getting laid and then comin home and expectin me to put out too!”

“I had to keep ya safe Aves! I had no choice! It was either that, or…”

“Or what! Trusting me maybe! I woulda helped ya Zan, but noooo…ya had to go all noble and shit! Well fuck ya! I’m done. I’m goin back to New York. YOU can fucken well rot! Go tap some other booty, coz this one ain’t interested…or should I go fuck some stud hey?”

“Over my dead body!” Zan roared.

Ava exploded, her hand flipping out to slap his face, but Zan caught her wrist in his hand and yanked her into his arms. Ava fought him, even as he picked her bodily up off the ground and walked a few steps forwards, allowing him to slam her non too gently up against the wall by the kitchen table. One hand bracketed her wrists and dragged them up over her head, pinning them against the wall, his free arm anchored around her waist tightly.

Ava hissed and stared up at him, tears starting to fill her eyes. The anger seemed to drain out of Zan’s body, his hand gently relaxing the grip he had on her wrists. When he released her wrists, he slid that hand to her cheek, forcing her to tilt her chin up and look at him.

“I love ya Aves…can’t we just leave da past in da past, and concentrate on da future? Ya all I want…ya all I ever wanted.”

Ava bit her lip even as one tear slipped free, Zan gently wiping it away with the pad of his finger. His fingertips gently traced her cheek, feathering down over her jaw and tilting her face back up when she lowered her eyes.

“I love ya…I always have Aves.”

Even as doubt flickered with in her eyes, Zan bought her closer to him and dropped his head down to kiss her. Ava held herself ridged for a moment, but then with a small sob, wound her arms around his neck, and let him drag her under into a storm of emotion. Zan snarled softly against her mouth, and yanking her back into his arms turned them as one, and lifted her into his arms. His free arms swept out over the table, sweeping its surface clear as he sat her on the edge and pulled her closer. It was only when he dragged his tee shirt over the back of his head and dropped at his feet that Liz burst into tears and Maria found her voice.

“Jesus man! Even with the tire tracks, you are ripped!”

Maria started laughing as Ava let her hand go, the memory fading away slowly as the two girls faced each other. Ava sighed softly.

“I didn’t have to pray after that…I guess what I’m sayin is this. I love ya Maria. Even with ya diva attitude. And I’ve really missed ya.”

Maria smiled and raised one eyebrow.

“Cornball much? Are we havin a hallmark moment?”

Laughter filled the cabin of the truck again, and swirled around then as Ava started the engine and headed towards home. Their laughter filled the house and echoed late into the night, it’s occupant’s unaware that their lives were about to be turned upside down once more.

Kerri,

I already told you how much I love this, but I wanted to also let you know how happy I am to see you writing again. I know what its like to have an emotional block and I'm glad to see you starting to come out of it. This was such an enjoyable chapter to read and the cornball-ness of it was perfectly in character and quite humorous. So glad to have you back!

Lisa

Hey Kerri! I just wanted to say that I've started reading this story and it sounds really great! I've not gotten very far since it's late, but I wanted you to know that you have another reader to this fic!!

Part 9.

For all y’all ladies who love the sexiness that is Michael over at P.A. Y’all made me feel really welcome, and for that I thank y’all. And Sel? I know you're lurking babe…;) Have I convinced you yet? One more thing: Pooh ~ Hugs babe. Told you I’d get it up for you…. eventually…. And your piglet sends you a smooch.

Also guys, thanks for your patience and I’m sorry for any boo boo’s. I just wanted to get this one up, so it hasn’t been beta’d ok? Cheers.


Lena watched the last of the patrons slip through the door, and sighed softly. She rested her head against the wall, her eyes sliding shut as she let the pain in her feet slip through fully, and her ears adjust to the stillness now that the music was turned down. Gentle hands gripped her upper arms, and led her forward, Lena opening her eyes enough to see that it was Kyle who was leading her towards a table. She sat down with a soft moan, and let her body slump as she leant forward and rested her head on the tabletop.

“Ya ok Lena?” she heard Ava ask, and numbly shook her head.

Ava laughed softly, and sat down beside the tired girl. “It gets easier babe. Da lateness of da nights, da music, da noise. Da pace. Da guys hittin’ on ya, and da girls glarin’ at you. Ya learn to ignore it.”

Lena raised her head and looked at Ava. “I’m that damn tired, that I could honestly curl up on this seat, and never move again.”

Ava smiled sympathetically, and rested her hand gently over Lena’s. “Ya wanna know a secret?” she said quietly.

Lena nodded, Ava leaning forward slightly. “I still get tired, and I’ve been doing this for nearly seven years now.”

“Seven years?”

“Uh huh. Da gang picked up and shot through from home a few days after graduation when they were all eighteen. It took us a year to get da bar up and runnin, and here we are…and my feet still kill at da end of da night.”

Lena smirked then. “You only have to look at the shoes you are wearing to understand why Ava” she teased gently.

Ava looked down at her shoes and then grinned. Holding her foot out, she admired the boots she was wearing, and flexed her foot. The toes were pointed, the heels six inches long, and the maroon leather slightly worn. But they had been the first pair of boots she had bought with her pay, and they looked damn good on her. And when she told Lena that, the two girls started laughing, before settling down to discuss boots vs. high heels in good humor.

Over at the bar, Zan heaved a rack of glasses out of the dishwasher, and began putting them away as Kyle loaded up the next rack. They watched Lena and Ava together in silence, Zan wisely hiding his smirk and the comment he had on the tip of his tongue when he saw Kyle’s gaze lingering on Lena. His face was sober when Kyle glanced over at him, but the two men knew each other too well not to know when the other was hiding something.

“What?” Kyle asked softly, his wary gaze flittering over to the two girls.

Zan smirked, but shrugged his shoulders. “What what?” he asked, the lights in his eyes dancing with cheekiness.

Kyle rolled his eyes, and went back to loading the dirty glasses. Zan kept quiet, and bided his time, Kyle finally throwing down the rag he was using in one hand, and turned to face his friend.

“OK you asshat…what’s so bloody funny?”

Zan snorted. “Nothin’ cricket.”

“Bullshit man. You’ve been throwing me looks all night. Spill your guts.”

Zan rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh, and turned to face his friend. “Ya loosin’ it dude. I dunno what da hell ya on ‘bout.”

“Uh huh…you are so full of shit Zan, that it is quite literally dripping down your face. What?”

Zan sighed, and looked Kyle straight in the eye. “Take a picture man. Coz da way ya starin’ at Lena, ya gonna bore holes in da side of her face.”

Kyle was mortified to feel his face flush, and abruptly turned away. Zan frowned at his friend’s unusual response, and reached out to clamp a gentle hand on Kyle’s shoulder.

“Kyle? I’m just shit stirrin’ man. Ya aiight?”

Kyle gave a jerky shrug of his shoulders, and lifted the heavy rack of dishes into the dishwasher. As he placed the dish washing powder into the machine he spoke, his voice quiet yet ringing with truth.

“She’s beautiful, there is no doubt there Zan. But the last girl I liked who was beautiful, turned out to be a psychopath, who tried murdering one of my best friends, and who has probably killed the other half of my friends. Yeah, so OK, I never got along with Max, but they got a raw deal there man. Add in that Lena’s just come out of a relationship, and I’m not going there. Can we just leave it alone?”

Zan nodded, and turned back to finish putting the glasses away. It was only when he went to go upstairs to prepare his inks for that day’s wok that he spoke again.

“I’m sorry man. I never meant to hurt ya feelin’s or none. I’ll keep this between us kay?”

Kyle glanced at Zan and nodded, his eyes showing Zan that he wasn’t angry or hurt, but that he appreciated the apology all the same. Zan smirked, and nodded, before continuing towards the second level, knowing that Alex was already up there, sitting at the table on the balcony, waiting for the first rays of dawn to warm his face. Ava winked at Lena and followed her man, Lena leaving her table and heading over to join Liz and Maria. Maria glanced at Lean as she slumped down in her seat, and gave a sympathetic cluck.

“Go home honey! Get some shuteye! The first shift is always a headache. We’ve just got to balance the money and then lock up ok?”

Lena glanced at Liz hopefully, and smiled in relief when Liz nodded in agreement. She stood up and waved goodbye to Kyle as she headed for the door, the group calling out goodnight as the doors shut behind her with a soft click. Maria turned back to Liz, and rested her hand over Liz’s.

“So what do you think of her Liz?” she asked softly.

Liz shrugged. “Alex said that still waters run deep Maria. She’s been badly hurt by this Johnny, but she has a good heart. A pure heart. Kyle’s hesitant, but there is an attraction between them. He won’t stay hesitant. They will help each other heal. She’ll help him move on from Tess’s treachery, and he’ll help her laugh again. It sort of reminds me of how it is between Zan and Ava.”

“What? Smoking hot?” Maria cracked, the three friends laughing softly as Kyle came over to join them.

“What’s so funny?” Kyle asked, Maria snorting as they shook their heads in reply.

They were saved from answering when Kyle demanded an answer however, when the front door creaked open, their gazes turning towards the door as one…

Earlier….

The bike rolled to a stop, Michael putting the kickstand with a groan as he turned the bike off. Tugging his helmet off, he twisted slightly to look at Isabel, whose fear was palpable.

“Is this the place?” he asked gruffly.

Isabel managed to nod, her eyes trained on the wide glass doors. She jumped when Michael touched her, turning frightened eyes towards him.

“What if they hate us Michael? What if they don’t want us there?” she whispered.

Michael shrugged. “I don’t know Isabel. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if they will be the same or different. I do know that there is only one way to find out.”

Isabel could only nod, Michael scowling slightly as he stretched. His body was cramped, and he was tired. All he wanted to do was get it over with, so he could get some sleep. Holding his hand out to Isabel, he helped her off the bike, and steadied her as she swayed slightly on her feet. When she was finally steady, they walked to the curb, only to stop when Isabel froze again.

“Michael…”

He turned to face her, and took both of her hand within his.

“No matter what…we’ll always have each other” he muttered softly, Isabel nodding in relief as she let him tug her gently across the road.

They stood out side the darkened bar together silently, and stared through the windows in silence, taking in their first glimpses of their friends in a long time. At the closeness the three shared. And it was with a deep breath that Michael stepped over to the door and pushed it open, gently tugging Isabel inside after him.

Time slowed to a crawl as Michael watched Kyle, Liz and Maria turn to face them, the happiness on their faces fading to shock as they stared at each other across the room. It was only when Maria turned white and her eyes rolled back in her head that time snapped back for Michael, and he watched as Maria fainted, sliding non-too gracefully from her chair, and hitting the floor with a thud, that snapped them all back into focus. But it was their reaction that shocked him the most.

“You’re dead! He fucking killed you!” Kyle cried, as he scrambled from his chair, his hand held out in anger as Liz slid from her seat to the floor and gathered the prone Maria into her arms. Maria moaned, opened her eyes, and looked up at Michael, her eyes filling with tears as she began to sob.

“What? What the hell are you talking about Valenti?” Michael asked in confusion, Isabel whimpering slightly as she slipped behind him slightly.

“Don’t play fucking games Rath…how’d you survive? Change your face man! Don’t look like them!” Kyle cried out, his anger and pain coming off of him in waves as a light bulb above his head shattered as his powers grew.

“Kyle! What the hell are you talking about?” Michael cried, his confusion and anger growing by the second. He took a step towards Kyle only to freeze in place when the very distinct sound of a shotgun being cocked echoed in his ears. Isabel moaned, Michael turning around very slowly to face the voice that spoke.

“Move another step in that direction man, and it will be da last thing ya ever gonna do”

Michael could only stare at the man before him, who held the shotgun pointed at him at chest height.

“Max?” he asked weakly.

Zan smirked. “Ya wish…. Michael.”

Kyle jerked, and slowly lowered his hand. “Michael?” he whispered weakly, his eyes starting to dart between Michael and Isabel, and the top of the stairs. But it was too late, Michael and Isabel turning as one to stare upwards. They saw Ava first, and knew who she was immediately. But when they saw the man at her side, Michael stumbled backwards; only to watch as Isabel took a step forward in a trance like state, her face paling by the second.

In the next five minutes, confusion would explode, accusations would fly, and tears would fall, and it all started when Isabel spoke weakly, before fainting at Michael’s feet.

“Alex?”

OMG. OMG. that was wow. and your cliffhangers. arrg. ok. there is drama. so zan knows its michael but he still wants to blast him. ok. so not understanding that. so not understanding that at all.

but iz saw alex. i want to cry. to completely cry. great new part.

Part 10.

Hey guys, I am soooo sorry about the time between updates lately. My old computer died on me, and I've only just gotten word set up on my new and shiney bright computer, so that I could start writing again.

Keep this line from chapter four in mind ~ “House wise, the only rules I have are this: don’t bring anyone home here. If you want down time, go to their place. Too many people stare at Alex, and I won’t have him feel uncomfortable in his own home."

I've deliberatly not said what Alex looks like for a reason. You know the others have changed slightly, but I've let you form your own picture of what Alex looks like now....this is how I see him after what he went through.

This ones for Pooh ~ I know how much you love Isabel and Alex darl...I hope I do them justice. But as Natalie and Lisa will tell you, when I make a promise like I am about to make, you'd better believe it'll happen....get some tissues before you read on. You will cry


Reality came back to her slowly. A flicker of heavy eyelashes. Her fingers flexed by her face. Stage by stage, she became aware that something was happening. What it was she didn't know, but the importance of it was beating in her heart. Raised voices filtered through the heavy mist in her mind, making it hard to open eyes that were refusing to open easily. The pain was still there, something real and tangible that she could cling to.

But the pain was no longer just in her jaw. It was in her head too, searching fingers finding the large lump on the back of her head. Isabel forced her eyes open, and groaned softly as her vision blurred momentarily, strength and sheer will fighting back the nausea that threatened to rise as she closed her eyes again. The voices continued to echo, Isabel letting her head rest back against the cushion she had raised it from. Confusion was swirling, so she simply lay there, letting the voices wash over her, and tried to make sense of why Michael was fighting with Liz....

Isabel sat upright, her heart hammering as tears gathered in her eyes, and slid down her face unheeded as it all came back to her like a freight train through her mind. They were home. They were with friends. And sitting against the wall across from the couch she was lying on, sat Alex. Disbelieving eyes took in the changes in him. This was no apparition from her heart, a need to escape into her memories. This was real. He was real.

Real, like the cane resting by his side. Real, like the day’s growth that darkened his jaw. Real, like the scar that ran from temple to chin. Real, like the tousled waves of his hair, messy from shaking fingers running through it as she slept. Real, like the nervous drum of his fingers on the tiles. Real, like the awareness that she was awake, as green eyes that were clouded over with blindness turned towards her, searching for what she didn't know.

"Alex?"

It tumbled from her lips on a choked sob, as she tumbled from the couch and started to scramble on her knees towards him. Isabel stopped however, when he held his hand out, and a soft blue shield spread between them. Her breath hitched in her throat, causing more tears to slide down pale cheeks, as she knelt there, Alex keeping her from touching him with the shield.

"Are you really Isabel? Or is it you Lonnie? Did you survive and come back to fuck with my mind some more?"

Isabel could only stare at him through the shield, at the pain in his voice.

"Answer me!"

"It's me Alex...Isabel....when did you get powers? How can you do that?"

Her voice had a tremble to it, Alex closing his eyes as he rested his head against the wall.

"That's what Lonnie said last time. That she was Isabel. I believed her. Why should I believe you?"

Isabel stared at the man the boy she loved had become. At the scar that ran down his face. Searching eyes drifted down his body, and saw the other scars that marred his arms. There would be others too, she knew. Scars on his heart. Kneeling up slowly, she pressed her hands against the shield between them, and felt the soft pulse of warmth beneath her hands.

"When we woke the morning after prom, I was lying on my stomach. You woke up before I did, and you were lying on your side, running your fingers up and down my back...."

"She knew that too," Alex interrupted.

Isabel winced, wondering what had happened to Alex, and how he had survived in the first place. But she pressed on anyway, determined to finish her tale.

"When I woke up, I lifted my head to look at you, and you smiled. There was none of that morning after shyness that I had heard so much about. There was just you and me, and we lay in bed together, without having to say a word. We took the day for ourselves. We had breakfast in bed, and you made me laugh when you dropped jam off of your toast, and onto the sheets. You were more worried about that stain, than the one we had made when you took my virginity.

"You called it a badge of honour. That you were honoured to see it, while I had been mortified. I offered to remove it with my powers, but you said no. We spent the rest of the morning exploring each other and laughing. Lunch in the backyard, and dinner at the Crash Down, and the following day? You died Alex. You left me. And something in me died with you. We buried you Alex. I danced with your ghost beside your grave."

Alex closed his eyes again, and shook his head slowly. "No...you danced with me in my dreams."

Isabel started crying again, her hands pressing against the wall between them. But still he wouldn't let her through.

"Lonnie and Rath came back. Lonnie pretended to be you....she pretended to be hurt. She rang me, and told me that Max had hurt her...that she needed my help. They caught me by surprise on the highway. They left a body in my car that wore my face. And it was Zan and Ava who found me six months later, and brought me home. My powers come from Zan healing me. For a whole year, everyday he poured everything he had into me, and in doing so, saved my life."

"What did they do to you Alex?"

It was whispered, the pain in those words fracturing his heart slightly. But he knew she deserved to know the truth.

"Nikolas mind raped me for six months straight. Lonnie looked like you...not like she looked when she first came to Roswell. She and Rath would kiss and have sex in front of me. They made me think it was you and Michael. Rath got off on flicking used cigarettes into my lap. Putting them out on my arms. Tess was the worst out of all of them..."

"Tess?"

Alex snorted. "It was Tess who came up with the idea of mind warping me into decoding the book. When I came out of her warp, she was surprised when I told her that I would have decoded it for her if she had only asked. But she had broken me with the warps. Broken my mind. My body healed Isabel. My mind? That's still playing tricks on me. Because I know you aren't really here. You can't be. You left the planet. You were to die up there. Tess told me...the three of you were to die. And it's my fault...I wasn't strong enough for you."

Isabel could only watch as he slowly lowered his hand, the shield flickering once, before melting away. Alex sighed softly, and rested his head on his drawn up knees.

"This is my punishment for not saving you. I'm to be haunted by what I want most in the world, the one thing I can't have. And anyway...who would want me? A blind man..."

Isabel shuddered, before crawling the remaining distance between them. Stopping in front of him, she sat back on her feet, and spoke quietly.

"You think I'm a ghost?"

Alex shrugged, only to still when he felt a warm hand slide through his hair.

"If I'm a ghost, how can I touch you? If I'm anyone, how can I want you? How can I look at you, and still think you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen? Do you remember saying that me Alex?"

Alex looked up at her slowly before uncurling his body and kneeling up himself. His hand trembled as he raised it, reaching out blindly to touch her. He heard her giddy sigh, a heart beat before his hand touched silky hair. Isabel closed her eyes as his thumb scraped gently along her jaw, even as tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. She knew those hands. Had dreamt about them. The length of his fingers, and the roughness of his palms.

With her eyes closed, she could only feel. So she gave herself over to the sensation of having those gentle hands slide along her throat. Questing fingers sliding along her neck under her hair. Fingers sliding through her hair, awakening tiny nerves under her skin, and setting her body aflame with happiness.

Those wide palms flattening out across her shoulders, and tracing her collarbones. Sliding up her throat, and cupping her face. Thumbs sliding through the tracks her tears had left behind, followed by the whisper soft dance of his breath skipping across her cheek as his lips touched her jaw line.

Isabel raised her own hands, and gently touched his shoulders, her hands hanging on tightly as his lips trailed up her face. When he kissed her closed eyes, Isabel started to cry in earnest, her eyes flickering open to stare at him. Tears sparkled against his eyelashes, even as he stared blindly into her own eyes.

"You're really here?"

In answer, Isabel slid her hands up his shoulders to his face, and drew him closer. She repeated what he had done to her, trailing soft kisses along his jaw, across his cheek, before brushing her lips across his for the first time. It was meant to be a small kiss. An affirmation. But Alex's hand caught the back of her head, and his other arm slid around her waist, dragging her closer to him.

A small kiss, that was the first of many. One that caught their breath, and stole it away. A remembering of texture. Of taste. Of coming home to each other. The taste of each other's tears. A sharing of pain. And when he finally drew away, his voice was soft.

"I think I've loved you my whole life."

Isabel laughed softly, even as she rested her forehead against his.

"Even when I was a duckling?"

"You've always been a swan to me."

Laughter mixed with tears, and a kiss shared that was as sweet as it was bitter. They had miles yet to go, but it didn't matter. She was home.

Part 11.
Righto, first off ~ a friend told me a while ago that I had some punch within Roswell. That I was a well known author, and that I touched people with my fics. So if that's true, I want to reach out to all of you for another reason. For a friend. For that same friend who told me I was a b.f.d.

You all know Pooh. You've seen her around the boards. You've watched her vids or read her gazer fics. What some of you don't know is this:

Pooh has cancer. She reacently had surgery to remove her uterous and some cancerous lumps from her breasts.

Pooh is also only 34. She has three children. And she has just been given a $27,000 medical bill. At the bottom of this chapter you will find a banner with a link. Please, help a wonderful woman. You'll find messages from her friends, including me.

Take some time to read her story, and if you can, please make a small donation to help Pooh pay the bill and her up coming chemo. Every little bit helps.

Look in the mirror. Most of us are Mom's. Most of us have Mom's. One day it could be you. Get your pap smears done reguarly. See your doctor if you find a lump. And pray for this wonderful woman.

Keep in mind that I always have twists and turns, and put the damn rocks down! Sorry it's so short, but hey! Better than nothing right? Enjoy guys.

When Isabel landed at his feet in a crumpled heap, Michael knelt straight down, and gathered her gently into his arms. He wasn't aware of Zan standing behind him, the gun slowly lowered to his side. Of Liz slipping her arms around a heartbroken Maria. Of Ava slipping her hand into Alex's, who was trembling in confusion. Or of the shock that had Kyle sitting down abruptly.
He was only aware that his sister had fainted, and as he stood up slowly, with Isabel lying limply in his arms, his only concern was her safety. He stood there silently, daring any of them to speak at that moment. It was Ava who finally spoke, Michael staring up at her with barely masked hatred.

"Ya can put her in bed upstairs. I take it we have a shit load of stuff to talk about, no?"

He shrugged belligerently, and stalked up the stairs, and into the small room that Ava gestured to. Lying Isabel down, he covered her up slowly, the worry he felt slipping into his eyes as he stared down at her. For Isabel to see the boy she loved standing before her...but he couldn't be alive. There had to be some other explanation. Turning around, he scowled as Alex felt his way into the room, one hand sliding along the wall, and the other holding a collapsible cane.

Michael crossed the room silently with only a few long strides, and grabbed Alex by the arm. He roughly turned Alex to face him, the retort that had been on the tip of his tongue dying, as he stared into eyes that were clouded over with blindness. At the nasty scar that marred his friend 's face. And knew that this was no alien sent to pose as their fallen friend.

"Alex?"

Michael was mortified when it came out as a squeak, a small smile crossing Alex's face as he looked towards Michael.

"Hello Michael."

Michael could only stare at him silently, Alex staring straight back at him with blind eyes. It was only when Zan stepped into the room that the silence was broken.

"This fool bothering ya Alex?"

Alex smiled slightly, his face turning towards Zan.

"Go easy Zan. He isn't the enemy."

Zan snorted. "Yeah right."

Alex sighed, and rested against the wall behind him as he sighed once more.
"Zan...I know it's Michael. The same as I know it's Isabel with him. I don't need my eyes to know who they are. I know Michael. I can tell you now, he's standing there, with his fists clenched by his side, his stone walls hiding that he's in shock, that he's tired, and right now, is probably trying to figure out how I survived, when he was one of the people who buried me."

Michael's jaw dropped, even as Zan chuckled dryly.

"Uh huh...spose I'm gonna have to trust those damn powers now ain't I?"

Alex nodded, his eyes closing momentarily as he raised his hand to his head. He rubbed gently at his temple as his face slowly turned grey. Michael's grip on Alex's arm tightened as Alex swayed on his feet, Zan reaching his side before he even straightened up. Michael could only stare as Zan helped Alex slide down the wall, his hands leaving Alex's arms and sliding up to cup his face.

"Ya see me man?"

Alex groaned, and shook his head.

"Open ya eyes Alex...find me man...reach out...gotcha bro....I gotcha."

Michael watched as Zan stared into Alex's unseeing eyes, his hands glowing slightly as his concentrated on what only he could see. As Alex's face became its normal color, Zan's grew grey, as he absorbed whatever it was that was ailing Alex. Alex sighed softly, and closed his eyes, his breathing evening out as Zan stumbled back and landed hard on his side.

Michael could only stand there in shock, his eyes darting between a sleeping Alex, and a shaking Zan. When Zan curled slightly into himself, Michael knelt down beside Alex, and reached out to touch his face. His skin was cool to touch, Michael feeling the residual power from Zan skittering along his skin.
"What's wrong with him?" Michael asked softly, reaching out to help Zan up.
Zan didn't answer him. He just pushed Michael's hand away, and rolled over to kneel up. He used the wall to push himself up, and leant there as his color slowly began to return to normal. Turning to face Michael, Zan stared at him, his eyes cold and untrusting.

"Ain't nothin' wrong him Michael. You remember that. Ya ain't seen nothin' in this room, and ya ain't gonna open ya mouth about what happened here either."

Michael scowled, and stood up. "I'm not blind...Zan. That is your name isn't it? Thought you were meant to be dead."

Zan snorted. "Funny that. We thought da same thing 'bout you. But here we are."

"Phftt...who the hell do you think you are?" Michael hissed. "I never liked taking orders off of Max...what makes you think I'll take them from you? You aren't the king!"

Zan laughed softly, his eyes glittering with an anger that Michael recognised.

"No I ain't da king...just da dupe right? Ain't powerful enough to survive...ain't powerful enough to rule...and I sure as hell ain't Max. But in regards to Alex? Keep ya trap shut Michael."

Michael scowled, and gestured to Alex again. "We buried him. How is it that's he's here now? And you never answered my question. What's wrong with him?"

Zan scowled. "Nothin. He ain't wantin people knowin right? So do ya stone wall shit, and keep ya mouth shut. Coz it's what he wants. Got it? As for how he's here? This is a talk we should have down with da others. Let 'em sleep it off."

Michael shook his head, and grabbed Zan's arm. Zan scowled and wrenched away, Michael taking a step back as Zan clenched his fist. They stood there in silence, before Zan shook his head and closed his eyes briefly.

"Don't touch me ok? I don't like bein' touched by people I don't know or trust. Especially when ya look like..."

Zan sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Just don't touch me."

Michael glanced at Alex again, and then swallowed. "Zan....please. I couldn't protect him last time. What's wrong with him?"

Zan looked down at Alex, and then back at Michael.

"Tess and Nikolas did a number on his brain. I can't heal like Max can. I can't heal his blindness, and I can't heal what's wrong inside. It makes him sick. I can take da edge off, but I can't fix it. He ain't gonna remember da last couple of hours...he never does."

Zan shoved away from the wall, and stepped out of the door.

"Zan..."

Zan turned back to face Michael, guilt and heartbreak stamped on his face.

"He's dying Michael. And I can't save him this time. No one can."

no0
no no
I mean that's what I figured but I did not want to think that. nope not at all. and they just got back. oh man. this sucks. not the story the ditustion.

no0
no no
I mean that's what I figured but I did not want to think that. nope not at all. and they just got back. oh man. this sucks. not the story the ditustion.

Holy crap! This is one of the best polar fics that I've read in a long time (especially given there hasn't been much polar action as of yet). I realize that its been over two years since you posted, but I'm hoping that you do still plan on finishing this fic. I also hope that your friend Stacie is in remission now. There hasn't been an update since March of last year on her site. Perhaps I'm sending this out into the internet ether, but I had to try. I'm, unfortunately, a fairly recent convert to Polar so I'm a little slow on finding the sites that have polar fanfic. Either way, awesome work, I hope you finish it and that you and yours are doing well.