Fan Fic and More

Recipient: negotioable
Original request: "Squall/Rinoa...anything post game following canon that fits in with the holidays is fine. Preferably, nothing too far in the future, perhaps display some of their challenges as a couple."
Title: She Likes Flowers
Rating: Teen (for mild swearing)
Characters/ships: Squall/Rinoa, implied unrequited Seifer/Squall
Summary: Squall needs to buy a Christmas present for Rinoa. Seifer tells him she likes flowers.
Author Notes: I tried to stick to what you wanted as well as what I knew how to write. Hope it gives you some holiday cheer!
"You've been staring at the window for ten minutes now," Zell said.

Squall blinked and shook his head to clear it. It wasn't quite true - he'd been staring at nothing and thought that facing a window and pretending to window shop would help him avoid Quistis's usual remonstrances about his interior monologues. So what if he preferred to sort things out in his own head? It was better than listening to Selphie weep and wail about --

"What am I gonna get Irvine for Christmas? It has to be something good," she said. She stomped out of a nearby store, Quistis and Zell's girlfriend in tow. Zell's girlfriend was one of the Garden librarians, but Squall could never remember her name.

"Well," Zell's girlfriend said, and darted a glance at her boyfriend, "maybe don't get him something he'll use so much as something he wants to see you use."

As Zell was so desperately trying to shove his just-bought gift behind his back without being obvious about it, he missed the wicked glint in his girlfriend's eye.

"What do you mean?" Selphie asked.

Squall was amused to see that Quists, up-tight, scholarly Quistis knew precisely what was going on. She shook her head and laughed. Squall thought that if she did more of that, smiled and laughed, maybe the other boys at the Garden wouldn't have been so afraid of her, heroine of the Sorceress War, instructor, or otherwise.

Zell's girlfriend grabbed Selphie's wrist and tugged her down the cobblestone street to some of the newer shops in Balamb. "Come on - we'll show you."

Selphie glanced over her shoulder. "I thought we were eating lunch with the boys once we got done --"

"We're not done," Quistis said firmly and gave Selphie a little push.

Once they were out of earshot, Irvine said, "That wasn't subtle at all."

Zell, relieved his girlfriend was gone, maneuvered the large box back into his arms. "You were here the whole time? So you know what Selphie's getting you for Christmas?"

Irvine tipped his hat down and winked. "You betcha. And I can't wait to see it on her."

Zell blinked, confused. "What do you mean, on her? I thought you'd want a new gun or some cool new ammo or something. I mean, I'd be totally jazzed if Elspeth got me some ingredients so I can amp up my fighter gloves."

Irvine laughed. "It's a wonder you have a girlfriend at all sometimes, Dincht. Now come on - let's go to your ma's and get us some famous Balamb fish."

"Yeah - maybe she'll help me wrap this." Zell and Irvine headed toward Zell's house, leaving Squall standing beside the window, still staring at nothing.

Staring at nothing. It seemed that was all he did, day in and day out. He supposed he functioned, because as the new headmaster of B-Garden he signed things and sent SeeDs on missions, but he hardly remembered any of it. Whenever he closed his eyes, he remembered - screams. Blood. The pallor of death that faded the color of even a man's eyes.

Squall stared at the window some more, and after a moment he could see beyond his own reflection in the glass to - oh. Jewelry. Shiny things - rings and necklaces, earrings and pendants, and all the things girls seemed to like.

Girls. All the other guys seemed bent on having one. Zell had been delighted to find his sweet little librarian waiting for him after the time-compression. Irvine seemed to be having a merry old time leading poor Selphie around on a wild chase. Even Nida and Xu had hit it off. Squall reached down and picked up his Griever pendant. Who did he have? Rinoa, perhaps. If she wanted him. He didn't know how she could want him. She was - Squall shivered. She was sunlight and warmth, smiles and laughter - everything he wasn't. He was taciturn and moody; his mother had named him after terrible weather for good reason. What could Rinoa possibly see in him? She was beautiful and bright and could have anyone she wanted. He was sure that her friendly visits to his office were nothing more than that - friendly. Out of gratitude, perhaps, because he'd saved her. He wasn't foolish enough to believe that one kiss, in the heat of victory, was enough to mean anything.

And yet - her voice. Her voice and face and memory had led him through the time compression, brought him home.

I'll be waiting, she'd said.

Was she still waiting, or was she done now that he was back in his own time? Even if it didn't feel like his own time at all...

"Holy Hyne, Leonhart, it's snowing and all you're wearing is that same leather-and-fur monster you wore all through school?"

Squall jerked back to the present at the familiar voice - and saw Seifer Almasy's smirking visage reflected in the shop window.

Seifer jammed his hands into the pocket of his too-familiar grey overcoat and grinned; the expression was shark-like and made Squall's fingers itch for his gunblade.

"I'm not surprised that the Ice Queen himself is impervious to this damned winter weather," Seifer said, his tone almost jovial. "They used to call you Shiva's Lover, didn't they? Probably not anymore, now that you're headmaster of a Garden and all."

Squall resisted the urge to growl. "What are you doing here, Almasy?"

"What does it look like, nimrod?" Seifer jerked his head in the direction of Fujin and Raijin. They stood in front of the weapon shop, squabbling. Fujin kicked Raijin in the shin, and he yelped like a whipped dog. "Christmas shopping, obviously. I'm guessing you're doing the same thing." Seifer leaned in and peered through the window. He hummed thoughtfully. Then his eyebrows went up, and he turned a surprised grin at Squall.

Squall stared back at him, impassive. He nearly fell over when Seifer thumped him on the back, and that was the last straw. Squall curled his hands into fists, and then Seifer said,

"Congratulations! It's about time. You got something real romantic planned, right? Candlelit dinner and roses and all that junk girls like?"

Squall's hands went slack at his side, and he frowned.

Seifer drew back, green eyes incredulous, and then he said, "Holy Hyne, you have no clue what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Should I?"

"Do you know what it means, that you've been standing outside this store for the past hour?"

Hour? Had it really been that long since Irvine and Zell went to get food? Squall suddenly felt hungry.

Seifer fell back, laughing. "This whole time you've been standing here in Squall-land, talking to yourself in that stormy little head of yours, and the B-Garden cadets have been spreading rumors like wildfire."

"Get to the damned point, Almasy!"

"It should be obvious by now," Seifer said. "You've been dating Princess Rinoa since the end of -- since the --" clearly he couldn't say the words sorceress war -- "for the last six months, and you're standing outside a jewelry store looking at rings. There's only one conclusion."

Squall arched one eyebrow expectantly.

Seifer took a deep breath. "For a man hailed as the best military commander since General Griever himself, you're really dense about actual human beings. You're asking Rinoa to marry you, right? Pop the question on Christmas Eve or something, have a wedding on Valentine's Day? Girls totally eat that stuff up."

Terror curled in Squall's gut. He turned away and started heading for the docks. "No. I'm doing nothing of the sort."

A hand came down on his shoulder. Squall reacted without thinking. He grabbed the hand, spun, twisted, and ended up with his attacker in an arm-lock.

Seifer arched to keep the pressure off his arm. He cast a glance over his shoulder, green eyes shadowed, and said,

"Why the hell not?"

Squall released him and pushed him away, then turned toward the docks once more. He refused to talk to Seifer about Rinoa, whom Seifer had dated. As much as Seifer had been a weak-willed, glory-seeking hound, he'd come around in the end, and he was perfect for Rinoa - charming and outgoing and sociable. Not that Squall would ever tell him that.

"Don't you dare walk away from this, Squall." Seifer grabbed Squall by the arm and tugged him around so they were face-to-face. "You're telling me that Rinoa's been hanging around B-Garden all this time, desperate to train her sorceress powers into submission so she's not a danger to you, and you're just going to let her go?"

"Let her go?" Squall wanted nothing more than to beat Seifer's face in, but he was a headmaster now, and he had to conduct himself with thrice-damned dignity.

"A girl like Rinoa won't wait around forever. Girls like her fall in love and fall hard, but keep them hanging on too long and their hearts break." Seifer's brow furrowed, and he stepped closer. "You wouldn't want to break her heart, would you?"

Squall shook his head grudgingly. If he let Seifer say his piece, the other man would run out of steam and Squall could walk away.

Seifer tossed his head, frustrated. "You don't get it at all, do you?" He tugged Squall toward a nearby restaurant. "You're coming with me and I'm going to talk at you until you respond like a reasonable human being or get it into your thick skull."

What was it? Squall knew better than to pull away for a third time. He was hungry, so he could just eat and ignore Seifer's pointless rambling.

The waitress recognized Squall instantly and smiled too brightly for his liking. Drinks arrived quickly, and the food even quicker than Squall thought possible. He tucked in.

Seifer ate more slowly, watching him, and Squall thought he'd gotten lucky, that Seifer was hungry and forgotten his crazy mission.

"Are you in love with Rinoa?"

Squall blinked. In love? What did that mean? Seifer studied him for a long moment, his expression expectant, calculating. Squall shrugged irritably and said,

"Whatever."

After another long moment, Seifer leaned across the table and lowered his voice. "Does it feel like you walk around in a haze all day until you hear her voice?"

Squall nodded automatically. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about this.

The corner of Seifer's mouth curved upward, but the shadows in his eyes were too dark for a smile. "Do you wake up at night, breathing hard and terrified that something's happened to her and you'll either kill someone or die because she's gone?"

Squall nodded again, more slowly this time. How the hell would Seifer know any of this? Was he spying on Squall? The notion sent icicles whispering down his spine.

"Then you're in love with her," Seifer said.

Squall finally worked up the will to speak. "What would you know about it?"

Seifer sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "More than you'd care to know. Who I love doesn't matter - what matters is that if you love her, you should marry her."

"I'm --" too angry and ruined for her. "Too young to get married." Squall definitely wanted this conversation to be over.

Seifer shook his head, impatient, and leaned forward again. "Look, you almost died, right? In a war. We all almost died."

Fury welled in Squall's chest, icy and unrelenting. Anger was good. Anger would get them both derailed. Maybe thrown out of the restaurant, but at least Seifer would stop talking like he'd been peering into Squall's damned soul. "You have no right to talk about --"

"If you're old enough to die for someone, you're old enough to live for them."

Squall closed his mouth so fast his teeth clicked.

"Tell me, Squall, when you close your eyes and imagine your future, who's the one person who's always there?" Seifer asked.

Squall shook his head.

Seifer pressed on. "When you lie awake at night and feel a hollow ache inside your chest, who do you want in your arms?"

Squall's lips parted, but no sound came out. He couldn't say it. He didn't dare.

"Squall, who do you love?"

"Rinoa." It was barely a whisper.

"Then she's the one, dammit. Ask her to marry you!"

"It's not that fucking simple!"

Seifer recoiled, shocked. Squall went still, mind in overdrive. The other restaurant patrons stared at him. He tossed down some gil and stood up, went straight for the door. He heard the sound of gil hitting the table behind him and knew Seifer was sure to follow. The winter chill was like a slap in the face, and Squall was angry again. Anger was good. He reached down inside of him, down into that quiet, dark place where old battles were waged and old wars were won and lost, where Shiva slumbered and waited for his bidding. He could end this - end Seifer right now. And then he felt it - a slap in the face.

Squall rocked back on his heels, eyes wide. He lifted a hand to his cheek and realized that Seifer had slapped him. He could only stare in mute shock.

"Dammit, Squall, I know I did some stupid things, everyone knows that - and I live with it every day. You're a hero, a golden boy, the brave warrior from those fairy tales Matron used to read to us." Seifer's green eyes were fever bright, and Squall wondered what was going on. "You have to live with your decisions, because yes, even though they were the right decisions, they were hard ones. But you didn't do anything wrong. You don't have to live alone." Seifer flung an arm in the direction of B-Garden. "She's waiting for you back there, waiting for you to open your eyes and realize that, for once in your life, you can be happy."

Squall closed his eyes, and for the first time he didn't see blood or death or war. He saw Rinoa's face, smiling, laughing. He opened his eyes and shook his head. "No."

"No what?"

"No, I --"

"No, you what?"

"I'm not good enough for her." There. He'd said it aloud, spoken the awful truth that everyone knew and thought whenever they looked and saw him, recalcitrant and moody at Rinoa's side while she talked and laughed and smiled at the students and instructors at the Garden.

Seifer actually looked pained. He reached out and caught Squall by the shoulder, dragged him in close.

"Now, Leonhart, you listen to me and you listen good. You're a good person - noble, even. Kind, even though you're moody about it. You're strong and capable and, hell, you're like a mighty avenging angel. If that's not good enough for her, then nothing is, because you're the best kind of man a girl could want." Seifer's voice was low and fervent, and Squall wondered if the other man had gone mad. "But you know what? It's not up to you to decide whether or not you're good enough for her - it's up to her. But if you never tell her that maybe you'd like to spend forever with her under the stars, you'll never find out if she thinks you're good enough for her, and you'll be left, forever, wondering if, just maybe, you were wrong. It'll haunt you in your dreams and through your days. You'll never get rid of that aching feeling in your chest, and you'll be on your deathbed with your regret. Don't do that to yourself."

Heat twisted under Squall's skin, rage and confusion and frustration and everything he couldn't say. Finally, he pulled back. "Who the hell are you, to tell me how to be in love when you're all alone? I don't see you going out and telling someone that you - you want to spend forever with her under the stars or whatever." He was breathing hard, shaking, exhilarated. Because it was true - Seifer didn't know what the hell he was talking about - he was just as alone as Squall.

Seifer smiled, the expression terribly sad, and said, "I wanted to tell someone, but I never got the chance."

"Really? Or were you just too afraid to take it?" Squall was spoiling for a fight and he knew it. He could feel fire dancing in his blood, singing for battle, and for the first time in nearly a year he was willing to give in.

"I robbed myself of the chance before it ever really came," Seifer said, and reached out, traced the line of Squall's scar.

The single, feather-light touch disarmed him, and Squall went utterly still.

Seifer stepped back and shook his head, gaze shuttered. "I should go. Think about what I said."

This time it was Squall who reached out, caught Seifer by the arm. "Almasy, wait --"

Seifer shook his head and nudged Squall in the direction of the window he'd been staring at all afternoon. "She likes flowers," he said, and walked away.

Squall watched him go, watched the long grey coat and fire-red crosses fade in the softly-falling snow. Then he turned and peered in the window once more, giving the wares a proper look for the first time all day. A single ring in a black velvet box winked up at him, diamonds arranged around a solitaire in the shape of a flower. He pushed open the door and went into the shop.

The shop keeper looked up when the bells jangled overhead. Squall pointed to the display case and said, "There's a ring shaped like a flower in there. I'd like to buy it."

The old shop keeper smiled and shuffled over to the display case, brought out the ring. He set it out on the counter, and Squall looked at the price tag, but the number didn't matter.

"Sure you want this, sonny? It's mighty expensive."

Squall nodded. "I know. But it's a Christmas present. For the woman I love. She likes flowers."