Excerpts From A Journal
Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:28 pm
Excerpts From A Journal
Disclaimer: The characters found within this work of fan fiction do not belong to the author. They belong to JKR, Warner Brothers, Scholastic and Bloomsbury. Isn’t that a shame? Rating: PG, though I don’t know why. It’s probably G.
Author’s Note: This is just a bit of angst that struck me over the weekend. My muse was in full-force, churning out the plot bunnies. Anyhow, this is set the summer before Ginny Weasley’s fourth year at Hogwarts, or the summer before Order of the Phoenix … however you’d like to look at it! ;)
***
15 July
First off, let me just say this: I don’t like diaries. I had one once, with pretty nasty results, so if you start showing any signs of being enchanted, you’re history. I’m torching you. I’m only writing in you in the first place because I’m so ruddy bored. With that having been said, I begin.
Boredom …tedium … monotony – essentially all perfect descriptors of my life. That is, it’s boring when my brothers aren’t driving me nutters. Then, my life is just insane. My life was the epitome of insanity about thirteen minutes ago, when Fred was trying to talk me into testing out a new product for Weasley Wizard Wheezes – a hair tonic that is supposed to turn the victim’s … er, the customer’s … hair a color to match their mood. George was trying to pin me down so I could be their guinea pig. Well, I hate to be the one to break it to them, but if they had indeed caught me (which I am happy to report, they did not), my hair wouldn’t have changed a bit. I was fiery mad at them, so I expect it would have stayed its already aggressive shade of red.
And now, approximately fourteen minutes later, I’m back to being bored. This summer has been one of the hottest on record in Ottery St. Catchpole, and Mum and Dad won’t even let us out of the house. It’s too dangerous, they both say. I understand that it is, but it doesn’t make things any easier. I’m breathing the same stale air as six other people morning, noon and night and I think I may literally suffocate if I don’t get out of here for at least five minutes. I’m seriously considering inventing an Air Neutralizing Charm for Professor Flitwick’s summer project. He wants us to come up with an independent Charms project on our own and that idea of mine would serve a dual purpose – I’d get my homework done while at the same time improving living conditions around here. Sounds like a stroke of genius to me.
Excuse me for a moment, Diary. Someone’s beating on my door. They’d better not plan to stay long. The air in my room isn’t quite as stale as the air downstairs and I don’t feel inclined to share right now.
***
I’m back. It was my brother, Ron, wanting help on his Transfiguration homework. I told him to owl Hermione and that I was working on Charms. It’s not a complete lie. I’m thinking about working on Charms. Maybe I ought to really get to work on that Air Neutralizing thing. Mum did send Fred, George, Ron and I upstairs to work on homework. Too bad Fred and George think Weasley Wizards Wheezes is a Hogwarts class these days – Mum’ll have a fit if she heard that explosion I just did coming from their room!
-GW
16 July
The Air Neutralizing project isn’t quite the success I’d hoped it’d be. I just ended up turning the stale-smelling air into air that smelled like a mixture of lemon and, oddly enough, Quidditch field grass. Ron groaned at me after that saying, “Thanks for reminding us we can’t go outside for Quidditch, Ginny.” Well, you’re welcome, I wanted to say back in my most sarcastic voice. That was my intention all along.
Ron’s been in a foul mood ever since the summer holidays began. Partly because we were told we were essentially under house arrest, but also because Dad said the chances of having anyone over this summer were slim to none. I can’t say that I was exactly pleased with that revelation, either, but I’m hesitant to write anymore about that right now. I mentioned before that I don’t like diaries. The last time I spilled my guts about certain things, I nearly lost my soul. I’m not quite ready to walk that path again. Forgive me for being cautious, but you know what they say – once bitten, twice shy.
-GW
17 July
Ron’s going to kill Errol this summer. I know he is. I tried to talk Percy into letting him use Hermes once in a while, but he refused. If it’s humanly possible, I think that Percy is acting even more uptight than he normally does.
Anyhow, Ron is sending poor Errol out nearly every day. I think he’d send him more often than that if he could, but Errol can’t make the return flight that fast anymore. Ron writes a lot to Harry, but he’s been writing a ton to Hermione, too. He’ll look daggers at you if you mention anything about his being sweet on her, but he can deny it all he wants. I know how he reacted last year when Hermione went to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum. I wasn’t born yesterday.
-GW
18 July
I said I wasn’t ready to spill my guts and I’m still not, but Ron has gotten me so mad! This afternoon, I had finally agreed to test Fred and George’s mood hair tonic. I was relaxing in the kitchen with my calm, blue hair … listening to the Weird Sisters and Kirley McCormack’s brilliant guitar solo on the WWN, when Errol collapses on the windowsill with a letter from Hermione. I only asked Ron, “Who is it from?” He says … no, he YELLS that it's from Hermione and he doesn’t want to hear another word about it. I told him to calm down and that I didn’t mean anything by asking. He pretty much called me a liar and said he had two words for me … Cho Chang. Now what do you think that could mean? I was so mad that, by the time I had stormed upstairs, my hair had gone red – and not it’s natural shade, either. Blood red. It’s only now staring to go back to normal. I could have kicked Ron for saying that.
-GW
19 July
Ron apologized, but ever since yesterday, I’ve been fretting about what he was getting at when he said “Cho Chang.” Is Harry writing to her? Is she writing back? Do I really want to know?
Yes.
I really do.
I can’t help it. I know … if I wanted to torture myself, I could find less painful ways, like putting red-hot pokers in my eyes or something.
I said I wasn’t going to do this again. I’m not going to bare my soul to a book.
-GW
20 July
You know, it’s sadly ironic when you look at it this way: I don’t really have any close friends. That’s pretty much why I’m scribbling away on your pages. But the cruel irony is, had it not been for being possessed by an evil memory in a diary my first year in school, perhaps I would have had the opportunity to make some close friends. I could be writing to them, but guess what … I don’t have any and that leaves me no other choice but to write in another diary. Bitterly ironic, really.
-GW
21 July
I wish I could write to Hermione about this. She’s sensible. She’d give good advice. And she’s bound to know the scoop on Harry and Cho. But she’d mention it to Ron, no doubt out of concern … I never disbelieve that Hermione has good intentions … and the last thing I want is for it to get back to Harry that I’m asking questions about him.
The only thing left for me to do is investigate for myself. When Ron’s downstairs, I’ll sneak into his room and read some of his letters. It’s the only way I’ll know for sure and the only way I’ll ever get any peace of mind.
-GW
22 July
Well, I did it. I don’t know how, but I managed to grab a whole box of letters before the ghoul in the attic gave me away. At least I can say today hasn’t been boring. Be back after I read some of them.
***
Wow. Some of this stuff from Hermione is priceless. I have enough dirt on Ron to use as ammunition until we’re both old and gray. The trouble is Ron evidently doesn’t keep his letters from Harry with his letters from Hermione. Now I have to return these and search for the others, all while trying not to get caught. My only consolation is knowing I can bribe Ron into telling me what I want to know, even if I am caught. Yes, what I read in those letters from Hermione was that good!
-GW
23 July
I don’t know how I did it this time. I nearly had a heart attack trying to get back to my room. I heard Ron yelling to George that he was coming upstairs in a minute. I’ve never moved so quickly in my entire life, but I’ve got a whole stack of letters. They were stuffed in Ron’s desk drawer with a bunch of old Martin Miggs comic books.
I’m going to read them now.
***
Remind me later to kick Ron – and hard. Not once did Harry mention Cho’s name. Not once. Would it be terrible for me to bring up that I’m smiling right now? Well, I am. And I don’t feel too terrible about it. I guess I’m not spilling a great deal to reveal that much.
Harry sounds nothing less than miserable in those letters, though. I’ve stopped smiling now that I’ve thought of that. The best medicine would be for him to come here and I’m not just saying that because I’m a selfish little girl. On the one hand, his coming here would make me happier than I’ve been in a long time. But on the other hand, it’d also make him happy. Those Muggles he lives with are horrible to him and after what he went through at the end of last term … let’s just say he doesn’t need that.
But there’s no way he can come here. Professor Dumbledore wouldn’t allow it. Not while … not while You-Know-Who is out there.
Harry’s miserable, but he’s safe.
-GW
24 July
I casually asked Dad if it was completely out of the question for Harry to come to the Burrow this summer. I made sure everyone but he and Mum were out of the room when I did, too. The last thing I need is for Fred and George to start teasing me again.
Anyhow, Dad said he was almost positive Harry’d have to stay with the Muggles until September first. Mum suggested I send him something for his birthday to help lift his spirits. Great idea, except nothing I’d send would probably lift his spirits. Ron or Hermione could cheer him up – or, even though he didn’t mention her to Ron – Cho. Certainly he'd think she was better than a Cheering Charm.
-GW
25 July
I have no idea what to send Harry. A card? Oh, because that’s really original … if he opened it and it didn’t sing, he’d probably die of a heart attack. He probably wouldn’t open it for fear it would sing.
I’m an idiot. I truly am. There’s no accounting for how stupid I was just a few short years ago.
Maybe I should write him a normal letter. I could just say: Dear Harry, I really hope your birthday is great. All the best, Ginny Weasley. No frills. No stupid songs. Then maybe he’ll start to believe that I’m not a stark, raving lunatic. Maybe, if I send him a regular letter, he won’t think I’m pining after him. Because I’m not. Not like you might think I am.
-GW
27 July
Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I was too busy trying to compose a “normal” birthday letter to Harry. It took me the better part of the day to come up with anything halfway acceptable and I’m still not sure. The worst that could happen when he reads it is that he could go on thinking I’m just a childish fool … his best friend’s silly little sister. Or I could spare myself the worst and not send it at all.
-GW
28 July
I decided it’s worth the risk. I’d rather Harry have something silly to read than nothing at all. And who knows, maybe it’ll give him a good laugh. Though I’d rather he weren’t laughing at me. Like I tell Ron every time we listen to a Cannons match on the wireless … you can’t win them all. But as the Cannons say, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.
-GW
29 July
It’s done now. I sent my letter off with Errol this morning, along with the letters and a package from the rest of the family. We sent Errol off a little early in hopes he’d make it to Privet Drive by Harry’s actual birthday. I pray I didn’t sound too ridiculous. This is what I wrote:
Dear Harry,
I know you’re not used to getting letters from every Weasley on earth, but seeing as you won’t be able to get away from your aunt and uncle’s house this summer, we all thought you could do with a little cheering, especially since it’s your birthday.
We’re all very disappointed that you can’t come to visit, but we understand why. It’s important that you stay safe, even if that means having to put up with your relatives a little while longer. You’re the toughest person I know and I’ll bet you’ve got every last one of them put in their place by now, haven’t you? It just won’t seem like school should be starting without you here. Now that I think of it, I’ve seen you every summer before the start of term since my first year. It’ll be strange not seeing you until Kings Cross this year … oh, but I’m not helping things, am I? I’m supposed to be trying to cheer you up, not remind you of what you’re missing.
I hope your birthday is a good one. Mum’s baked up enough food to stock a bakery and is sending it and Dad picked up loads of sweets for you in Diagon Alley on his way home from work yesterday. He bought me some Every Flavor Beans, but I left them in with your stuff. I want you to enjoy them for your birthday … I can get some in Hogsmeade after school starts. Just think of me when you get a hot buttered popcorn one … they’re my favorites!
I really hope your birthday is great.
All the best,
Ginny
Now that I read that again, I’m regretting putting that stuff about it being strange not seeing him until Kings Cross … what was I thinking? That had pining written all over it.
-GW
30 July
I wonder if Errol’s survived the flight to Surrey? Mum sure did have a lot of food packed in that parcel. I wonder if Harry will write back to me.
-GW
31 July
Today is Harry’s birthday. The moment I woke up this morning, I thought of him. I know that’s stupid. It’s probably borderline obsessive. I try not to think of him as often as I do. I try not to think of his voice, his eyes … I try not to be … I don’t want to say it. If I say it, it’s a risk. And not just a risk because I’m afraid you’ll open your pages up and gobble me whole. I think I’m beyond being afraid you’re anything but a regular diary any longer. No, the risk is, if I say it, then I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t lie to myself anymore. But I know how I feel. And there’s no cure but to have him feel the same way … which I know there’s no chance he will.
It’s going to be absolute torture September first.
-GW
1 August
I don’t know what to do first … write in here or read the letter that Mum just handed me. I’m thanking my lucky stars that Fred, George and Ron were upstairs at the time. I was sitting in the living room with Mum and I saw the strangest thing … it looked like a cloud carrying a feather duster through our kitchen window, then I realized … it was Hedwig (Harry’s Hedwig!) practically carrying Errol. Poor, Errol!
Anyhow, Hedwig had a bunch of letters – all from Harry – addressed to each of us. And that included one for me! I haven’t read it yet … I have no idea why I’m writing this now and not reading it.
I’ll be back once I’ve read it!
***
Oh, wow. I should have written to him sooner. Here’s what he had to say:
Dear Ginny,
Thanks for the letter. And thanks for the Every Flavor Beans. I thought I’d get a hot buttered popcorn when I found a nice pale yellow one, but it ended up being egg yolk. I thought about you anyhow, just because I was trying to get your favorite.
Don’t worry about bringing up me missing out on visiting your family this summer. I won’t say I’m happy about staying on here at Privet Drive, because I’m not, but it’s never a bad thing to think about the Burrow. I wish I could be there. Nothing would make me happier, but I’ll survive here for another month. I don’t think I’m as tough as you make me out to be, but I’m determined. The Dursleys aren’t going to get to me. They’re one of the last things I worry about.
As for my birthday being a good one, it was – thanks to you and your family. If I ever forget that I’m cared about, all I have to do is look for a Weasley. I hope every birthday I can look forward to getting a letter from “every Weasley on earth.” It sure would make my day.
I look forward to seeing you at Kings Cross on September first. Instead of being like seeing me before the start of term every year since your first year, it’ll be kind of like it was my first year … except I won’t being seeing you for the first time. I know that doesn’t make much sense.
Appreciatively,
Harry
He didn’t think I was an idiot. Is it September first yet? Forget what I said about it being torture. The rest of August is going to be torture.
-GW
THE END
***Author’s Note: Use your imagination to figure out what’ll happen after 1 September … or just wait until 21 June. It’ll all become crystal-clear about that time! No need to consult your tea leaves, crystal ball or even the palm of Harry’s hand! ;) We'll have OotP! :clap
