Giving and Receiving Feedback: A Writer’s Guide
If you’re a writer, you already know the feeling: you pour your heart into a story, blog post, or essay, and then you nervously hand it over to someone else to read. Maybe it’s a critique partner, a friend, or a writing group. That’s the moment of truth—when the magic (and sometimes the discomfort) of Giving and Receiving Feedback begins.
Feedback is one of the most powerful tools we have as writers, but it’s also one of the hardest parts of the creative process. Learning how to accept it with grace—and give it with kindness—is a skill that can transform your writing journey. Let’s break down how to make the whole experience less scary, more useful, and maybe even fun.
Why Feedback Matters
No matter how talented you are, you can’t see every angle of your own work. Writers are too close to the page—we know what we meant to say, but readers only see what actually made it onto the page. That gap is where feedback lives.
Constructive feedback helps us:
- Identify blind spots in our writing
- Understand how readers interpret our words
- Strengthen story structure, pacing, and character development
- Build confidence by validating what is working
Without it, we’re writing in a vacuum. And honestly, writing can already be a lonely enough process. Feedback connects us back to the audience we’re hoping to reach. That’s why practicing Giving and Receiving Feedback with intention is so powerful.
The Art of Receiving Feedback
Let’s be honest: it’s tough to hear someone say “this part doesn’t work.” Our instinct might be to defend ourselves or explain what we meant. But remember: the goal of feedback is not judgment—it’s perspective.
Here are a few ways to make receiving feedback easier:
- Take a breath first. Even when it’s positive, feedback stirs emotions. Give yourself a moment before reacting.
- Listen for patterns. If three different readers tell you your opening is confusing, that’s worth investigating.
- Don’t confuse critique with criticism. Someone pointing out that your pacing drags is not the same as saying you’re a bad writer.
- Ask clarifying questions. If a comment isn’t clear, gently ask what they meant.
- Choose what to keep. Not all feedback has to be acted on—your story is still yours.
When you reframe Receiving Feedback as gathering data instead of defending your worth, you’ll find it becomes much more empowering.
Pro tip: If a note makes you feel prickly, star it, set it aside, and revisit it tomorrow. Time softens sting and sharpens clarity.
The Art of Giving Feedback
On the flip side, being the person offering feedback comes with responsibility. You’re holding someone else’s creative baby in your hands.
Good feedback should:
- Be specific (“this sentence feels rushed”) instead of vague (“I didn’t like it”)
- Balance positives with suggestions for growth
- Respect the writer’s voice rather than trying to rewrite in your style
- Focus on the work, not the person
One great method is the “compliment sandwich.” Start with something you loved, move into a gentle suggestion, and end with another positive. For example:
“I really like how you set up the tension in this scene. I think the dialogue could be trimmed a little to keep the pace moving, but the emotional payoff at the end really worked for me.”
This approach makes your input both useful and encouraging—exactly the kind of feedback you’d want to receive yourself. Practicing Giving and Receiving Feedback with this mindset raises the quality of everyone’s work.
Build a Healthy Feedback Loop
The best writers don’t just give or receive feedback once in a while—they build it into their process. That’s why writing 
groups, critique circles, or even trusted one-on-one partnerships are so valuable.
If you’re new to this, you might check out communities like Critique Circle or Scribophile where writers swap feedback online. These communities create a structured way to engage in Giving and Receiving Feedback, and you’ll often find your own skills improving just by critiquing others.
And don’t underestimate the power of a local writing group. Meeting face-to-face (or via Zoom) can help you not only get insights but also build friendships that support you through the highs and lows of writing life.
Set Expectations Before You Swap
A little prep goes a long way. Before you share pages, try:
- Defining the stage. “This is a messy first draft; I’m mostly looking for big-picture feedback.”
- Being specific. “Please focus on character motivation in chapters 3–5.”
- Stating your boundaries. “No line edits yet—structure first.”
Clarity keeps the process calm and productive. It also makes Giving and Receiving Feedback faster because no one wastes time on the wrong level of detail.
Common Feedback Pitfalls (and How to Avoid Them)
- Being too nice. “It’s great!” isn’t feedback. It’s encouragement (which is nice), but it doesn’t help the writer grow.
- Being too harsh. Pointing out every flaw with no positives can crush a writer’s confidence.
- Overloading with suggestions. Too much feedback at once can overwhelm rather than help.
- Taking it personally. Remember, critique is about the writing, not the writer.
The fix? Balance. A good mix of honesty, tact, and empathy will keep both sides feeling respected. When in doubt, ask: “Would I feel okay receiving this note in this tone?” If not, soften and specify.
When Feedback Hurts
Sometimes, even well-intentioned feedback stings. If that happens, it’s okay to:
- Step away for a bit before making edits
- Journal your feelings (yes, even writers need to write it out)
- Remind yourself that growth often comes with discomfort
And if feedback is delivered in a way that feels cruel or dismissive, you don’t have to keep that person in your feedback circle. Protect your creative energy. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed. Part of mastering Giving and Receiving Feedback is choosing the right partners.
Use Feedback to Strengthen Specific Craft Areas
To make feedback more actionable, aim it at a craft target. For example:
- Character: “Where does the protagonist’s goal shift? What specific choice shows it?”
- Plot & Pacing: “Which scene could be cut or condensed without losing meaning?”
- Dialogue: “Where does dialogue repeat information? Where does subtext carry emotion?”
- Scene Goals: “What changes from the start to the end of this scene?”
- Theme: “Which moments best embody the story’s central question?”
This kind of targeted approach turns vague notes into clear next steps and keeps Giving and Receiving Feedback tightly aligned with your revision goals.
Draft → Feedback → Revise: A Simple Loop
- Draft freely. Don’t edit while creating. Get the clay on the wheel.
- Let it rest. Distance builds objectivity.
- Request focused feedback. Share your goals, questions, and boundaries.
- Sort notes. Group by theme (structure, character, line edits).
- Revise in passes. One priority per pass keeps you sane.
- Repeat as needed. The loop is where craft matures.
That repeating loop is the living heart of Giving and Receiving Feedback—and it’s how good drafts become great manuscripts.
Feedback and the Growth Mindset
Here’s the secret: feedback isn’t just about fixing a particular draft. It’s about growing as a writer. Each time you practice Giving and Receiving Feedback, you’re sharpening your skills, deepening your understanding of storytelling, and learning how to communicate more effectively.
This ties beautifully into the idea of a growth mindset—the belief that your abilities can improve with effort and practice. Writers who embrace feedback as part of that journey will see their work soar.
A Personal Note
When I first joined a critique group, I dreaded the sessions. Every time my story was up for discussion, I sat there clutching my notebook, convinced they were going to tear me apart. But what I actually found was support, humor, and some of the most insightful comments that completely changed how I approached my drafts. Now, feedback is something I actively look forward to. It’s the friend that tells you the truth and cheers you on while you grow.
Helpful Places to Practice
Want a structured environment to try all this? Explore:
- Critique Circle for organized, point-based critiques
- Scribophile for active critique groups and genre communities
Pair these with your own local or online writing circle, and make Giving and Receiving Feedback a regular part of your routine.
Related Reading on My Site
If this resonates, you might also enjoy my post on Creating a Writing Group If you create your own writing group, you’ll have a built in source for feedback!
Final Thoughts
Writing may feel solitary, but it thrives in community. Giving and Receiving Feedback is more than just an editing step—it’s a way to connect, learn, and grow together. When we approach it with openness, empathy, and curiosity, feedback transforms from something scary into something exciting.
So the next time you share your work, remember: you’re not just asking, “What’s wrong with this?” You’re inviting someone into your creative process. And when you return the favor by giving thoughtful feedback to another writer, you’re not just critiquing—you’re contributing to their growth.
That’s the beauty of this messy, magical process we call writing.
One Response
Idk which is harder tbh giving or getting feedback