Show Yourself Grace When Everything Feels Like Too Much

We talk a lot about grace.

Show grace to your students.
Give grace to your coworkers.
Extend grace to your family.
Assume good intentions.
Be kind. Be patient. Be understanding.

All of that matters. All of that is good.

But somewhere along the way, many of us forgot the most important part.

Showing grace to yourself.

Grace Is Easy for Everyone Else

We are often incredibly generous with grace when it comes to other people.

If a friend is overwhelmed, we tell them it’s okay to rest.
If a coworker drops a ball, we say they’re doing their best.
If someone needs more time, we nod and say we understand.

But when it’s us?

We demand everything. Immediately. Perfectly.

We expect ourselves to keep up with work, show up for everyone, maintain hobbies, keep writing, keep creating, keep planning, keep decorating, keep cooking, keep smiling.

Especially around the holidays, the pressure multiplies. There’s always one more thing we could do, one more thing we think we should do.

And when we can’t do it all, we don’t offer grace.

We offer criticism.

What Showing Yourself Grace Actually Looks Like

Showing yourself grace does not mean giving up.
It does not mean lowering your standards forever.
It does not mean you do not care.

It means recognizing that you are human.

It means understanding that energy is finite, time is finite, and your worth is not measured by how much you squeeze into a single day.

Showing yourself grace looks like saying:

• Not everything has to be done today.
• Some things can wait.
• Good enough is still good.
• Rest is not a failure.

It is choosing progress over perfection and sanity over constant pressure.

The Lie That Everything Must Be Done at Once

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that everything matters equally and everything must be handled right now.

It doesn’t.

Some things are urgent. Some things are important. Some things are optional. Some things are simply noise.

Showing yourself grace means sorting those things honestly instead of punishing yourself for not being superhuman.

This is something I am constantly reminding myself of, sometimes with help.

I have a wonderful friend named Jack who gently reminds me, often when I am spiraling, that everything does not have to be done at once and it certainly does not have to be done perfectly.

Sometimes that reminder is the difference between pushing through exhaustion and allowing myself to pause without guilt.

I’m Guilty, too

It would be so very hypocritical of me to say show yourself grace when I don’t do it myself. Honestly, I struggle with it. One of the places I struggle the most with showing myself grace is my writing. I am constantly beating myself up for not writing enough, not being consistent enough, not doing more with the ideas I carry around in my head. Even when writing is something I love, it can become another stick I use to measure my worth.

Lately, I have been learning to stop turning creativity into a performance review. Sometimes the most restorative thing I can do is step away from the pressure to produce and instead lean into the quieter things that help me reset. Journaling without an agenda, reading, organizing ideas, creating little pockets of calm I call my creative souls. They are not about output or productivity. They are about reconnecting with myself so that when I do return to writing, it comes from a place of grace instead of guilt. See I’m trying to show myself grace, you need to show yourself grace as well.

Grace Is a Practice, Not a Personality Trait

Some people seem naturally calm and forgiving with themselves. For the rest of us, grace is a skill we have to practice.

It is something we have to consciously choose, especially when our instinct is to pile more onto our plates.

Grace might look like writing one paragraph instead of an entire chapter.
It might look like making chili ahead of time and calling that a win.
It might look like closing the laptop and trusting that tomorrow is allowed to exist.

If you are someone who struggles with slowing down, this might feel uncomfortable at first.

That’s okay.

Growth often does.

You Are Allowed to Be Enough Today

You do not need to earn rest.
You do not need to justify slowing down.
You do not need to prove your worth through productivity.

You are allowed to be enough today, exactly as you are.

If this is something you struggle with, you might find it helpful to revisit how you define productivity and creativity. I explore this more in this post about creating a writing space that supports you instead of draining you.

And if you need a reminder that self compassion is not indulgent but necessary, research consistently shows that self compassion improves resilience and motivation. The work of psychologist Kristin Neff is a great place to start if you want to learn more.

Show Yourself Grace, Even When You Forget

You will forget sometimes.
You will push too hard sometimes.
You will expect too much of yourself sometimes.

That does not mean you are failing.

It means you are learning.

Remember, that to show yourself grace is not a destination. It is a daily choice. Some days you will make it easily. Some days you will need a reminder.

And when you do, let that reminder be gentle.

You do not have to do everything.
You do not have to do it perfectly.
You just have to keep showing up with kindness for yourself.

Show yourself grace. You deserve it.