Don’t make a permanent decision for a temporary emotion. – unknown

I’m angry tonight, but that anger is a temporary emotion. Logically I know that. Emotionally, I want to go full scorched Earth right now.  But there is a lesson in what I’m feeling, and maybe by reading this, you can learn what I learned the hard way.

There are moments, like now, when your emotions feel so loud, so immediate, and so justified that acting on them feels like the only reasonable choice. The frustration. The hurt. The anger. The “I cannot believe this is happening right now” kind of feeling. You replay the situation in your head. You think of all the things you could say. You feel the response building, almost demanding to be released. And in those moments, it is incredibly tempting to make a decision that feels just as big as the emotion itself.

To send the message.
To say the thing.
To shut the door.
To burn the bridge.

But here’s the quiet truth we don’t always want to hear:

A Temporary emotion should not drive permanent decisions

Emotions are real. They matter. They deserve to be acknowledged. But they are also temporary, even though it doesn’t feel like it, they are. And they change – CONSTANTLY!

What feels overwhelming right now will soften. What feels urgent will slow down. What feels like the only possible reaction will, with time, reveal other options. And I promise you, that rage reaction you are feeling right now won’t be one of those options.

And if you act on a temporary emotion and make a decision, especially a permanent one, you don’t always get to take it back.

That’s where the pause becomes powerful.

The strength in stepping back

There is a quiet kind of confidence in choosing not to react immediately. It doesn’t mean you’re ignoring the situation. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you are giving yourself the space to respond instead of react.

That space might look like:

• Taking a walk instead of sending the email
• Sleeping on it instead of deciding right now
• Talking it out with someone you trust
• Letting the first wave of emotion pass before choosing your next step

That pause can be the difference between a reaction you regret and a response you’re proud of.

Why emotions feel so urgent

When something hits a nerve, your brain doesn’t always prioritize logic first. It prioritizes protection. It wants to defend you, justify you, and resolve the discomfort as quickly as possible. That’s why everything can feel so immediate. So necessary. So right in the moment. It’s part of that whole fight or flight that’s hardwired into us. We are conditioned to react. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t do it. Take that minute to let the initial feelings of anger, rage, hate, sadness or whatever pass. They are just temporary emotions. They feel strong, they feel urgent. I get it. But urgency does not always equal importance. And immediate action does not always lead to the best outcome.

It can help to understand the skill behind the pause. Psychology Today has a helpful overview of emotional regulation, and even just reading about the concept can make it easier to practice when you’re in the heat of the moment.

What this looks like in real life

This shows up everywhere. In the classroom, when a student pushes your patience to its limit and your first instinct is to react instead of redirect. In conversations with colleagues, when something feels unfair or dismissive and your response is sitting right on the tip of your tongue. At home, when stress from the day spills over and you find yourself responding more sharply than you intended. In all of these moments, the emotion is real. But it is also temporary. And if you give it just a little space, you often find a better way forward. Take a breath and remind yourself that what you’re feeling is real. Those emotions are real, but they are also temporary emotions.

You are allowed to feel without acting

This might be the most important part. You are allowed to feel everything without acting on everything. You can be frustrated and still choose professionalism. You can be hurt and still choose restraint. You can be angry and still choose not to make a decision you can’t undo. That is not weakness. That is emotional strength.

If you like a grounded, practical approach to building those skills over time, Harvard Health has a solid overview of emotional intelligence and why it matters in everyday decision-making.

If this helped you, you might also like…

The Quiet Confidence of Showing Up Again

Give yourself time

You don’t have to decide everything today, no matter how much you may want to! You don’t have to respond immediately. You don’t have to match the intensity of the moment. I’m not going to say that it’s easy, because it isn’t. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause, breathe, and give yourself the chance to come back to the situation with clarity instead of emotion. Because what feels permanent right now might just be a temporary emotion asking to be felt, not followed.

And you deserve to make decisions from a place of clarity, not just reaction.