Majik's Funnies - a place to tickle your funny bone

[lissalou72]

Mom I have to agree with that one....I pray for that almost nightly..LOL

Lissalou

[KaraGail]

Here are 2 I got at work :

The buzzword in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:

You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day y ou call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" That's Junk Mail.

You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and gropes your breast and grabs your ass. That's the Governor of California!

You like it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended.

That's America

*********

The REDHEAD


A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office

and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.


Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."


The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and sceams,

then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony.

She pushes her knee and screams;

likewise she pushes her ankle and screams.


Everywhere she! touches makes her scream.


The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?


"Well, no" she says,


"I'm actually a blonde."


"I thought so," the doctor says.


"Your finger is broken".


:

Kara

[majiklmoon]

bahahahahahahahahaha

[KaraGail]

"I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger"

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:

For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 8 inches in your pants". After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to retu rn this to the woman.

It read:

"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back!"

Kara

[majiklmoon]

*giggle* grin

[KaraGail]

I kinda figured....

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the! second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more again but was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times....

I kinda figured we was friends !



Kara

[majiklmoon]

bahahahahahahaha

[KaraGail]

Take it off...


A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was

a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very

little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for

a ranch hand.


Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She

thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided

to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the

house than the drunk.


He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a

lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was

doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,

"You've done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go

into town an kick up your heels."


The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One

o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no hired

hand.


He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the

rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for

him.


She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off,"

she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.


Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by

her boots.

Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her

eyes in the fire light.


Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told

and dropped it to the floor. Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the
light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.


Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town

again, you're fired."

: Kara

[majiklmoon]

I wonder...

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Just wondering....

[KaraGail]

That's too funny!!! HA HA HA!! I did start to sing them both!

How about this letter?

Dear Tide Detergent:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it
all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a
month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My
inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy
I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another, and somehow I ended up with a lot of his
blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain
detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid
Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all
of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by
yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then
my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a
suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a
murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great
product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.





Kara

[majiklmoon]

bahahahahhaaa I LOVE that

[KaraGail]

Got this one today and had to pass it along

Seven Levels of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some
woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the
mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the b londe is
really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:W."

`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
patrolling nearby was the first to respond As the K-9 officer approached
the hou se with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?They send me a BLIND policeman."


: :
Kara

[KaraGail]

If this doesn't make you fall out of your chair laughing, call Goldfinch funeral home, cause you're dead.


If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! It's better when you read it the second time!!

I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm being serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay."

Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

So we drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for Pete's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um.....um.... masturbate...just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron..."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just...excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly, " the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face.

"It's just...that..I'm picturing you pulling on it's...it's...teeny little...." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. Our son was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 Lizards - $140... 1 Cage - $50... Trip to the Vet - $30...

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's pecker.....

Priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :

lol:

[incognito-sticks]

ROFL(':D')
That was brilliant.

Here's mine.

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says "WOW! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, i've just found out my brother is gay."

The next day the same guy cam into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the barteder asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "i've just found out that my little brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said "Jesus! doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife"


A drunk guy gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes late, another loud scream reverberates throught the bar.

The bartender goes onto the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "what's all the screaming about in there? you scaring the customers"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and everytime i try to fluh. something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles."

With that the bartender opens the door, looks in and says..."you idiot! you're sitting on the mop bucket!"



This joke has always been one of my favourites so i thought i would share it with you all.


A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a very beautifull woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat and a wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business trip or vacation?"

The woman turns, smiles and says, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago."

The man swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitment. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "what's your business role at the convention?"

"Lecturer" she says. "i use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he says. "What myths are those?"

"Well" she explains, "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, infact, it is the Native American Idian who moast likely to posses that trait. Another popular myth is that french men are the best lovers, when actually it's men of Jewish decent."

Suddenly, the women becomes very embarressed and blushes. "i'm sorry," she says, "i should'nt be discussing this with you, i don't even know your name!"

"Tonto" the man says as he extends his hand. "Tonto Goldstein."



Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "so, what did you bring?"

The second convict pulled ot a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail."

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin and any number of games"

The Third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these"

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?"

He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, i can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

[majiklmoon]

LMAO

[KaraGail]

Here's a classic.....


Church Requirements

A couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."

The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.

"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?, " the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month, " the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened??? "Well, the first week was difficult... however, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower."

"The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain."

"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers,
prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal
thoughts."

"One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly.

The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church."

"We know," said the young man, hanging his head, "we're not welcome at Home Depot either."



Kara

[vecastone]

Thanks to Donna for this two

How to Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofer, wide loofer and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Dry off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How to Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.


I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

[vecastone]

Two more

My Wife Left Me

My wife left me.
I don't understand.
After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses; I had to give up drinking beer.
I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends.
Anyway, I gave it up, but the other day, when she came home from shopping and I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup, I said, "Wait a minute.
I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"
She said, "I buy that makeup so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back....


An Ugly Woman

An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks: "Are they twins?"
The woman says: "No, he's 9 years old and she's 7.
Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No", he replies "I just can't believe you got laid twice"

[vecastone]

Bad Humour Parrots

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" asked the priest.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Bob. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase ... in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. She walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison ...."Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed.... "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"

[donna4behr]

I get all my jokes from my colleagues, they get emailed all the best ones. I always forward them to Virginia so lets hope you guys enjoy them too.

Love to all,

Donna