Chapter 13
"So, what's your poison Miss Parker?" Max asked as they entered the kitchen area a few minutes later. Even though he'd never done anything like this with any girl in his life, with Liz he felt completely comfortable.
Liz watched Max open the freezer. For the first time she noticed the muscles in his back flex with each long reach he took. Liz had already seen what his muscular arms looked like in action. Now though watching him, she wondered what he looked like without a shirt on. After all, she thought, he did play football.
"Liz?" Max asked with a smirk on his face, when he caught her checking his body out. That had to be a good sign, he thought.
"Oh, sorry. Do you have chocolate chip mint, the green kind?" Liz asked shyly as she stood next to him.
"The green kind?" he asked in confusion.
"Yes, there is a whitish colored one and the green. If you're going to eat chocolate chip mint, you have to have the green one, otherwise what's the point?" Liz said with a flip of her wrist. Max smiled at her, was she that passionate about everything, he wondered.
"I don't eat it, so I'll take your word for it," he cajoled and she stood there with a shocked expression.
"What?" he asked. Did she have to stand so close? Being near her was almost too much for Max, but now he could feel her soft body brushing against his arm.
"You've never had it? This is really bad. We need to remedy this right now." Liz reached for the ice cream and pulled out two bowls and two spoons. Max noticed, with a smile, that she'd obviously been around his kitchen quite often since she knew were everything was.
"But I want Rocky Road," Max grumbled. It was the only ice cream he ate.
"Rocky Road? No, that just doesn't even look good," she started and Max placed a hand on her arm stilling her movements.
"Wait? Are you telling me that you are shocked that I haven't eaten chocolate chip mint, but here you are never having tasted Rocky Road?" Liz blushed and went about scooping more ice cream into the bowls. Did he have to touch her? She could barely stand to be in the same room with the man without having her heart race, but now the hand he had placed on her upper arm was burning. Her stomach flipped and her heart began hammering in her chest. She needed to ignore it, that’s all. If she did, she knew the feeling would go away.
"Oh no, Parker. You are not getting off that easy. You're going to try it."
"No."
"Yes."
"Max, it doesn't look appealing." Liz scrunched up her nose and Max couldn't help but smile. Alexis did the same thing, and they both looked adorable to him when they did it.
"And you think green ice cream does?" he teased.
"This is about you not me," Liz huffed.
"No, this is about us. Now, please scoop some of that into another bowl, because you are going to try it." Max nodded towards the Rocky Road ice cream and watched as Liz shook her head.
"No, Max."
"Yes, Liz."
"Fine! But I won't be held accountable for my actions if I hate it."
"Ditto." They were both quite after that moment, but a teasing smiled played on their lips.
****
After getting settled on the living room couch, Liz had a question that was burning a hole in her brain. She wanted to ask Max how he knew about the ice cream conversations, how could he know?
“Max?”
“Yeah?” Max looked up from his green bowl of ice cream. His stomach was already churning at the thought. He was sure it was very good, that didn’t mean he wanted to find out.
“Stop looking at the ice cream like it’s going to turn into some kind of alien, grow legs and abducted you,” Liz teased and Max laughed. It was so easy to talk to him, she realized that a while ago. And maybe, she thought, that was the reason why it was so hard for her to talk to him. Liz knew she was a walking; talking contradiction, but that was the only way to explain it. She knew that if she needed someone to talk to, Max would be the perfect person. He didn’t judge her, but that is the one thing that scared her the most.
Everyone judged her. Her entire life was spent with her never living up to the expectations of everyone else around her. But with Max, it was different. He never asked for more than she gave, and it was…refreshing.
“I’m not. It’s just Liz, it doesn’t look very good. I mean, does ice cream go bad?” he asked as he played around with the ice cream in his bowl once more.
Liz just shook her head in mock disbelief. God, was he always that adorable? His bangs laid gently across his forehead and his eyes were swimming with uncertainty. He looked like a young boy at that moment whose mother just told him he had to eat all of his broccoli before leaving the dinner table. She had to stop staring; he would catch her soon and that would be a very bad thing. Liz didn’t want to lead him on after all.
“Oh God, Max stop acting like you’ll die from eating it and just try it.” She answered exasperatedly.
“No, you were going to ask me a question. So ask it first then I’ll eat.” Max tried to bargain with her. It seemed to be working, which he was very thankful for. In fact, he was hoping it was a question that would lead to other questions and he could finally figure Liz Parker out.
“How did you know about girls talking over ice cream?”
All the hoping in the world didn’t work obviously.
“I just know,” he hid his face from her, it was turning beet red, he was caught and he knew it.
Liz narrowed her eyes in suspicion. She knew it!
“So what else did that daughter of mine tell you?” Liz deduced quickly that Alexis had to be the one to tell Max about the ice cream.
“What?! I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Max feigned innocence.
“Nice try. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bad liar?” Liz asked teasingly.
“All the time,” Max sighed in defeat.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to trick you or anything. I just wanted you to talk to me.” Max looked up at her and was afraid that he’d just ruined his chance with her. But what he saw in her eyes was anything but anger.
“I know you didn’t Max. And I’m sorry,” Liz began awkwardly.
“Don’t be Liz. This has got to be hard on you.” Liz’s eyes snapped to his in amazement. How could he know? How was it possible that this man whose known her for just a few weeks, could know that much about how she was feeling? So instead of fighting him, she decided to let her guard down, just for tonight, she coached herself.
“It is but it isn’t,” Liz was trying to find the right words to explain without revealing too much, and she stopped herself. She had just said she wasn’t going to fight him, so she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before beginning.
“It’s hard because I feel like I’m starting from scratch again. But it’s not hard because of all your help. I just feel like I should be doing more, but at the same time I feel like I might crack if I do.” Max removed Liz’s bowl from her hands and placed his on the table beside him. This was it. They were finally going to have a real conversation about her feelings.
“You know you don’t have to do anything, but be with Alexis…and sleep. Because I know you haven’t been.” Max concluded with absolute certainty in his voice.
“Yeah, I figured with our rooms being next to one another you’d figure that out soon enough,” she shrugged.
“Why is that? Are you afraid something is going to happen to Alexis?” Max watched as she shook her head.
“Then what?”
“I’m scared that…that I’ll wake up and my daughter will be sick again, and…I’m scared that you’re just this figment of my imagination. And when I wake up, you’ll be gone and I’ll be,” Liz began to sob softly and Max quickly reached a hand out to her and encased both of her smaller hands in his.
“Alone.” Max knew the feeling. It was how he felt everyday when he went home to an empty house.
“Yes,” Liz whispered out locking her eyes to his. Max saw the tears slide down her cheeks and he was quick to sweep them away. She invoked such deep feelings from within him; he didn’t even have a name for half of them.
“I know the feeling. I have this huge house and I come home at night after a game, and I’m alone. Hell, even if I have a party and there are people everywhere, I still feel alone.” Max finished sadly. He looked at Liz and saw her tears were subsiding, so he slid his hand away and leaned back into the couch. He watched as Liz tucked her feet underneath her and faced him.
“Why? I would think you’d be the last person on the planet to feel alone. I’m sure you’ve got girls all over you begging for your attention.” Liz started playfully. She didn’t want the conversation to get too deep. Besides that she didn’t want to turn into a basket case, which is exactly what she would become if they continued down the path they’d started.
“Yeah, they beg for my attention, but funny cause it’s not my intellectual conversation they are yearning for,” Max joked and smiled when he heard Liz’s soft laugh. She had the best laugh he’d ever heard.
“So tell me Max,” Liz began as she settled a little further into the couch. “How was your first time?” Max blushed crimson; he hadn’t actually meant to discuss it. It was just a way to break the ice. He didn’t know if talking about their loss of virginity was the way to go.
“Don’t you want me to eat the melting green ice cream?” Max asked reaching for his bowl only to be stopped by her arm on his shoulder. Electricity it what it felt like when she touched him. This spark of energy, it was scary yet left him wanting more.
“I don’t think so Evans, besides there’s plenty more in the fridge. Now, since you seem to be shying away from your own topic of discussion. I’ll tell you mine.” What the hell was she thinking?! She did not want to tell Max about her first time. As she sat staring at his shocked expression, she knew that she had to be the one to offer up something. After all Max had been there for her, even when he didn’t know anything but her name.
Liz took in a deep breath and began, but Max stopped her.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Max told her softly. He did want to know, but not if it caused her any pain.
Liz didn’t answer. She just threw herself back to the day.
“We only dated for three months and he kept telling me how he’d never met a girl like me. And how special I was, you know the common lines guys feed girls? Anyway, he had just finished up a game, his team had won and he wanted to celebrate. So I got dressed up really nice and I thought we were going to go out, but we didn’t. I ended up in his room and we were talking, and he finally asked me when I would be ready to sleep with him.” Liz looked up at Max and found him staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
“I told him, that we had only been dating for a few months and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to or not. Then he just made me feel bad,” Liz shrugged and licked the tears that had fallen soundlessly, from the corner of her mouth.
Max was seething. No girls first time should be about obligation. Hell even the girls he’d slept with, up until a few weeks ago, wanted to be with him and he with them. Granted there were no feelings involved, but still it was never like what Liz was describing.
“What did he say?” Max swallowed thickly, not really sure if he wanted her to continue or to just hunt down this Jimmy guy and beat him to a bloody pulp. The latter of the two was sounding just right to Max at that moment.
“He said that he cared about me and then he told me that he loved me and that he always wanted to be with me. I was stupid, he just fed me the lines and I ate them all up. Anyway, he didn’t have any protection, and I told him that it was okay, another dumb mistake on my part. I was in love after all, it would be alright, right?” Liz let out a self depreciating laugh and Max just reached out and squeezed her hand for comfort. She threw him a small smile before continuing.
“Anyway it was over pretty quick, and then his cell phone rang and he left me to hang out with some guys from the team. I sat there and cried for hours before pulling myself out of bed and going to my dorm. It was the last time I spoke to him, until I found out I was pregnant.” Liz finished with a small laugh. Max was confused, why was she laughing? There was nothing funny about the situation.
“Liz, are you okay?”
She ignored him. “You know what the sad part is? I thought I did something wrong. Me! I didn’t even know that the fuck I was doing, and he took total advantage of that. It was all about him. If I really think about it, that is what bothers me the most. I was the one that decided to sleep with him, ready or not. But he was the one with the experience, he was the one that should have known that I needed more time. He was the one that was supposed to have protection and he was the one that wasn’t supposed to leave me!” Liz cried out and Max quickly pulled her into his arms. He rocked her as her sobs grew harsher and harsher. They racked her small frame and he could feel her warm tears seep through his shirt. His heart broke for her, she was too young and too naïve at the time, but that didn’t excuse what that asshole did to her. If Max had it his way, and he normally did, he would find this guy and make him pay. That was his silent promise to Liz that night.
After a few minutes, her tears subsided and her breathing was back to normal. Liz pulled away slightly embarrassed.
“I’ve never told anyone that before,” she finished in a small voice.
“It’s okay, Liz. He was a guy who never deserved you in the first place. And I know that one day you’ll find the right guy for you. One that will love you, and treat you the way you deserve to be.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“It’s the whole truth, Liz.”
“Now, you ready for my story?”
“Yes! So long as you’re not gonna cry,” Liz teased.
“I’m not gonna cry! What the hell! I’m a guy Liz, please we don’t do things like that.” Max rolled his eyes in exasperation.
“Right,” Liz huffed in disbelief.
“Anyway, can I get to my story?”
“Yes, please.” Liz leaned back and placed one of the throw pillows on her lap waiting for Max to begin.
“Okay, it was my freshman year of college. I, of course knew no one. Anyway, this girl I had English with and who sat right next to me, asked me out one day after class. Now I’d never had a girl ask me out, so of course I said yes.” Max smiled bashfully. And Liz was completely enthralled to hear about his first time. She felt like a teenager again, except this time she had someone to talk to. Someone to laugh and to cry with.
“We went out on a few dates. And after dating for two months, we ended up sleeping together.” Max stopped abruptly and began to fiddle with the couch trimming.
“Oh no! I gave you everything. Now spill, Evans!” Liz screeched out and hit him with the pillow.
“Okay! Okay! We don’t need violence, Liz.” Max finished with mock disappointment. And Liz just rolled her eyes.
“Come with it, Romeo.”
“You’re not funny. Did you know that?” Max asked pretending to be hurt.
“Yes I am! My daughter tells me all the time.” Liz crossed her arms and smiled.
“That was low, Liz. Using her daughter like that in conversation. That’s okay; I’ll get you back. Anyway, where was I? Oh right, we slept together. It was the most awkward moment of my entire life. I would have rather ran through the halls naked than to do that. I had no idea where to put my hands, or where she liked to be touched. Nothing! It was terrible.” Max blushed and looked up at Liz slowly. She had a smile on her face.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing. It’s just funny. I mean most guys say their first time was great. That they did great and they knew exactly what they had to do, but you were honest.”
“Why lie? Besides I have definitely improved immensely in that department.” Max winked.
“Yeah I bet.” Liz smiled and smacked him with the pillow once again.
“It was her first time too, so it ended up being embarrassing for the both off us, which oddly enough made it easier. We dated for about a month longer and then she broke up with me,” Max went on to explain but was interrupted by Liz’s question.
“Why?” Liz asked seriously.
“She said that we weren’t working out. That she liked me, but she didn’t see it going any further than friends. I agreed at that point. I was looking for something more.”
“Did you find it?” Liz asked holding her breath. She found herself asking, why she cared so much. Why did she care that maybe Max had found the love of his life and lost her? Or maybe he was in love now but couldn’t be with her. Liz shook away the thoughts running through her head and concentrated on Max.
“No. I never found it. Irony of my situation is that I found out two weeks after we broke up that her best friend and her had a bet for when they got to college. And that was who could sleep with the most guys during their freshman year.”
“What?! Are you serious?!” Liz asked completely unprepared for that to have come out of Max’s mouth.
“Serious. In fact, I was hurt by it. And I confronted her and she apologized and told me that, that was why she wanted me to be the first.”
“Why?” Liz asked, clearly not understanding.
“It was her first time too and she knew that I wouldn’t take advantage of her.” Max finished softly, not looking Liz in the eye at all.
“So that’s why?” Liz concluded Max’s reason for sleeping with several women. Granted Max hadn’t revealed too much about that part of himself, but Liz knew the lifestyle Max led.
“Why what? I sleep with women?” Max deduced quickly that Liz was trying to make sense of his life. He wished her luck, because he himself was living it and had a hard time at it.
“Yes. You felt used or,” Liz started to list thing things off the top of her head but Max was quick to rebut.
“I like having sex, Liz. There’s no puzzle to solve, no mystery to reveal. I like women and they like me, that’s it.”
“How?” Liz bit her tongue. This was too personal.
“Never mind.” Liz mumbled out.
“No, it’s okay. You want to know and I won’t lie to you. So ask me anything you want and I’ll answer it as truthfully as possible.” Max crossed his arms over his chest. This was not a topic he was proud to be divulging but he wanted Liz to be comfortable with him, and if him explaining to her the inner working of his sexual escapades was going to help, then he would do it.
“How can you have sex with these women and feel nothing for them? Or do you? Do you like them and so you sleep with them?” Liz had a million questions running through her head.
“One at a time. I can have sex with them because I want to. I’ll be honest, and I’m not proud of this, but most of the time I would’ve just met them that night. To me having sex is not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal? Max, you could have gotten any of those girls pregnant and what then? Do you just walk away?” Max could tell Liz was quickly becoming disgusted with his lifestyle but he was determined to prove her theories on all men wrong.
“I would never walk away from a child I created. Never. Secondly, I always used something and let’s just say I used the rhythm method, for lack of a better terminology.” Max was completely and utterly embarrassed.
“Oh…okay.” Liz shifted uncomfortably.
“Either way though. If a girl I slept with had gotten pregnant I would be there for my child without fail.” Max swore.
“I know you would, Max. If I know nothing else about you, I know that is true.” Max smiled gratefully at Liz.
“So anything else?”
“Yes.” Liz spoke up a bit. She wanted to know one last thing.
“Does it bother you that girls are with you just to sleep with you?”
“No. Because that’s what I’m there for too.” Max could see Liz’s internal battle to understand.
“But sleeping with someone and sharing your body with them is so personal, how do you just walk away?”
“Sex to me, is not personal.”
“I don’t understand.” Liz raked a frustrated hand through her hair. How could he lay down with all these girls and not care?
Max sighed, this was harder than he thought.
“To me Liz, kissing someone is more intimate than sex. When I have sex with a girl, it’s about one thing, reaching that one goal. There are no feelings involved. It’s all about enjoyment. That’s why I don’t kiss or hug. I don’t caress and I don’t have oral sex.” Max stated bluntly.
“Wait?! You don’t have oral sex, but you have regular sex? And you don’t kiss?” Liz’s eyes were wide in disbelief and Max simply shrugged his shoulders.
“Liz, if I kiss a girl I have to like her to be that close to her. And if I have oral sex with her, I’ve really got to like her.” Max emphasized the last part.
“So to you, sex is just meaningless?” Liz asked not judging, but simply trying to understand.
“Yes. I know it might be hard for you to understand. But that’s the only way I can explain it.” Max wasn’t sure what else he could say but Liz had grown quite and he didn’t know if that was a bad thing or not.
“Liz?”
Liz wasn’t sure what she was doing, but at that moment there wasn’t anything she wanted more than for Max to say that he wanted to kiss her. It was wrong, she shouldn’t want that from him, but she did badly. She scooted closer to him on the couch and leaned in close to him. And then she whispered out her question hesitantly.
“Do you…is…has there been anyone that you’ve wanted to kiss?” Liz asked so softly that Max almost missed the question.
“There has been,” he answered vaguely noticing how close she was to him. He could smell the light floral scent of her perfume. His heart began to race, he wasn’t sure what was happening, but whatever it was he wouldn’t stop it.
“Max?” Liz was now a mere breath away from his face. She placed her hands on his shoulders and felt his quick intake of breath.
“Yeah,” he whispered out. He could feel her soft puffs of warm air against his lips, her tiny hands grasping his shoulders. He hoped to God this was real.
“Do I know the person you want to kiss?”
“Yes.” They grew even closer, their lips a breath away, their eyes closing…
“Mommy, I’m home!” They jumped apart as if they’d been burnt.
And the moment was gone…but not forgotten.
TBC…
*Tiny line borrowed from Heat Wave, I’m sure you all can pick it out
*
- 
