Author-Karen
Rating-Teen for now
Disclaimer-I own nothing related to Roswell or City of Angels,the movie which inspired me to write this fic.The lyrics in a few part are taken from Private Emotion by Ricky Martin,no infringement is intended.
Summary-Isabel is going through a tough time but she's not alone.
A/N-I was watching a trailor for City of Angels and htought why not base an A/I fic loosely along the same concept.Many thanks to Trude for beta-ing and for giving me pointers when I was stuck.
Part I-
The rain had to start just as they were lowering the coffin in to the ground.
People around me hastily opened their umbrellas, anxious to shield themselves against the driving rain. I barely noticed it.
Finally, my brother came and stood by my side sharing his umbrella with me.
The priest’s words were barely audible “…ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”
I was numb, unable to feel, seeing my family around me but not really seeing them if that makes any sense at all.
The entire burial was hurried along because everyone wanted to get out of the rain and back in to their cars, drive home and change in to dry, warm clothing.
Max must have driven me home because I found myself standing at my front door with him asking me for the key, “Isabel…ISABEL, the key, I need to open the door.”
Without looking at him I reached in to my coat pocket, wrapped my fingers around the brass key and gave it to him.
We walked in without a word, he went straight to the kitchen and made me a cup of coffee and brought it out to the living room where I was sitting on the carpet, my back against the sofa, staring off in to space.
“Here you go sis.” he said gently and sat down on the sofa “I can stay the night. I don’t have to leave for college till the day after tomorrow.”
I shake my head silently, “Really it’s no problem, and mom and dad don’t need me for anything anyway. I can get my books here and study.”
“No Max, I’ll be okay. In any case I need to get used to living in this house alone. Thanks for offering.” I said giving him a smile and taking a sip of the coffee, letting the warm liquid melt my frozen insides
“Okay.”
He seemed hesitant, not sure whether he should leave me so I waved my hand at him, “Go…if I need anything I’ll call. I promise.”
With a shrug of his shoulders he left and once again I was alone.
I am Isabel Evans-Ramirez, 24 years old and a widow.
I’m not quite sure why I married Jesse. Yes, I loved him but it wasn’t an all consuming, earth shattering kind of love, or may be such a thing only exists in fairy tales and women hope that such a love will enter their lives one day.
He definitely was not my soul mate. Still his death came as a shock to me and I miss him. We had developed an easy routine, both of us were fairly happy. My parents were against our marriage saying I was too young, only 21 and in retrospect I have to agree. I just plunged in to it, because I was afraid that being what I am I might never find another man who would want to marry me.
My brother Max had Liz, his childhood sweetheart and our best friend Michael had found love in Maria, Liz’s best friend. I had been the odd one out, never dating, never letting any guy close for fear of discovery. Liz and Maria knew and accepted our secret, but I never had the courage to tell Jesse, something in me never let me. Perhaps I knew that the love we had was not strong enough to bear the truth.
It’s been one month since he’s gone and I think I am limping back to some sense of normalcy. For the past few nights I’ve felt a presence in the house, actually not only for the past few but ever since the night of Jesse’s death, I have felt it become stronger but I was too shocked to really notice it at first so I dismissed it.
No, it’s not Jesse, I think I would have known it was him, in any case we had never been able to develop that sixth sense about each other like some couples do especially all Antarian couples. Somehow, I feel warm and relaxed by this being, who I like to think is watching over me. I can sleep now at night knowing that I am safe.
It was my job to watch over her, from the time she was born or in this case hatched. The purpose of her being on earth was kept from me, it was my duty to watch over her, guide her and keep her safe as far as possible.
I knew all about her other worldly origins, her former royal life, her family’s downfall, their deaths and their being brought back to life with the help of human DNA. Still her purpose here was a mystery known only to the all - powerful one.
Everyday I watched her grow more and more beautiful. Yet she was always alone, distancing herself from the other children around her in school. Many a time I had wished to reveal myself to her but that was against the rules. I knew she was afraid of rejection. I wanted to tell her she needn’t have been, that her parents and her brother love her.
She longs to tell her parents about her secret but it’s not only hers to tell. Two more people were let in to their secret, Max and Michael’s soul mates. I used to observe her when they were all together, she has the most beautiful smile but behind it she was sad, that she didn’t have one to love like her brothers did.
Then he came along, Jesse Ramirez and she rushed in to a marriage that never should have been. I knew he would die, I wish I could have told her but it’s not my place to do so. Now she’s alone, struggling to get back to an everyday routine, not wanting people to pity her.
I think part of me wants her to feel my presence, because I want her to know that she’s not alone. Ever since he died, she curls in to a little ball every night, clutching a pillow, sometimes crying herself to sleep. It’s at times like these that I feel like holding her, whispering in her ear that I will keep her safe and never let anything bad ever happen to her again.
************************************************************************
Isabel sat on her front porch step, in the moonlight, turning her wedding band on her finger, contemplating whether to remove it or not. Things had gone back to normal, more or less. She had realized that she had never been in love with Jesse, but still missed him for he had been a kind, caring and an unselfish husband.
The night breeze blew some leaves across the yard; lights flickered in the neighbour’s houses across the street. She stood up, dusting the seat of her pants and went and sat down on the swing. This had become a nightly ritual, after dinner. It soothed her. Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she knew she was no longer alone.
“I know you’re there.” she said slightly nervous but not afraid “Who or what are you?”
She question was greeted with silence but the presence remained, sending waves of comfort to her, letting her know that it meant her no harm.
“Why don’t you let me see you? Are you a ghost? I know you’re following me around.” Isabel was starting to feel a little silly that she was talking to the air and if some passerby saw her, he or she would think she was finally cracking under the strain.
So she lowered her voice and carried on “You watch me all the time, the least you can do is show me the courtesy of revealing yourself to me once.”
She waited for a few more minutes and nothing happened. Slightly annoyed, she went back in to the house and switched off the lights downstairs and went upstairs to her bedroom, where she changed in to silk burgundy pajamas.
While she brushed her teeth she kept looking in to the mirror as though expecting to see someone standing behind her but the room remained empty. Picking up a book from the shelf she got in to bed and switched on the bedside lamp, opened the book to where she had book-marked it earlier and tried reading but couldn’t. Her lids slowly grew heavy and she dozed off.
It took all of my self-control not to reveal myself to her when she asked me to. I’m, frankly quite bewildered that she can feel my presence, and no one has ever felt me before. My friend and brother, Gabriel says it’s because I want her to feel me.
I denied it to him but I can no longer deny it to myself. I am falling in love with Isabel. I don’t need to be told that it’s against the rules and it’s hopeless to for me to love her because it will never be reciprocated.
***********************************************************
The next morning, Isabel sat at her dining table eating a peanut butter cum tabasco sandwich when once more she felt it.
“This is really getting tiring. It was okay at first but now it’s plain annoying. If you can’t tell me who or what you are, or show yourself then go away.” she said harshly
She looked up and gasped, for across the table, standing infront her was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. He was tall and slim, with wavy brown hair, eyes that weren’t quite green or blue, a nose that stopped just short of being perfect and lips that were full and sensuous. He was wearing black trousers, a snow-white shirt buttoned up to the top, black shoes and a black coat.
“I’m Alexander.” said the man “And I shouldn’t be here talking to you but I couldn’t help myself.”
To say that Isabel was shocked was an under-statement. She gulped, blinked her eyes, stood up and sat down again.
“What…what are you?’ she asked in a whisper, afraid she’d scream if she spoke any louder
“Will you believe me if I said ‘an angel’?” There was a hint of humour in his question but his smile quickly disappeared
“An angel…I…I think I can believe just about anything, you don’t know what all I’ve been through.”
“On the contrary Isabel…I know everything.”
“WHAT?” she stood up once more, clearly alarmed
Alexander wanted to approach her but he was afraid she’d bolt so he remained at the kitchen counter not moving, “It’s my job to know everything about you…you could say that I’ve been watching over you from day one. And now I really must go…I’ve said too much already, I’m not supposed to be here like this.”
“No…wait please. You just can’t leave after dropping this bombshell on me…angels exist…oh my god! Please stay.” She pleaded
“I wish I could but I can’t but I will be back, I promise.”
And he was gone. Isabel slumped down on to the chair not quite believing what had just happened in her kitchen.
An angel had revealed Itself to her. ‘Itself’…shouldn’t it be ‘Himself’, he looked like a man but are they feminine or masculine? With thousands of questions running through her mind she readied herself for another day of work as a paralegal in her father’s office.
Concentrating on her work was impossible, the day seemed to never end and when it finally did she found herself looking forward to going home for the first time in weeks.
She decided to take a walk in the park early that evening and was standing at the edge of the pond hoping he would appear. But he didn’t.
“You can’t do this Alex…you know it’s against the rules.” Gabriel tried reasoning with his friend but it was beginning to dawn on him that as far as Isabel Evans was concerned, nothing he could say would make any difference
“You let her see you…how could you do that?”
“I had no choice.” Alex replied looking out over the city from the top of the water tower
“Of course you did…she could only have seen you if you wanted her to see you. You did, didn’t you?” Gabriel looked closely at his fellow angel and didn’t wait for an answer “You’re getting in too deep.”
Alex closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was in her living room, watching her prepare dinner for herself.
“Do you want to eat something?” she called out suddenly startling him momentarily but he smiled, he should have known she’d feel him
“I don’t need to eat.” he replied walking up to her
“Then you can” she twirled around with a bowl of pasta in her hand “keep me company while I eat and tell me what exactly you are and why you are here and why I can feel your presence.”
Isabel was determined to get some answers from him.
They sat down at the table, neither taking their eyes of the other. Alex waited for her first question-
“Have you always been around?”
“Yes.”
“Then why is it that I only began to feel your presence after Jesse died?”
“Because I started spending more and more time watching you and I may have wanted you to know that I was around. That is what my friend Gabriel said, because usually people do not feel our presence, rather they are not supposed to.”
“I see…this is crazy, you do realize that?” Isabel asked him “I am talking to an angel…seems like ‘normal’ things just don’t happen to me.”
Alex reached out with his hands and took both of hers, cradling them in his, “You’re special…what’s so great about normal things anyway?”
Isabel couldn’t ignore the sensations rushing through her from the moment that their skins had touched. She watched him intently to see if she was having the same effect on him as he was having on her but his expression remained serene.
_________________
My Angel (A/I + CC ~ Teen) 4/18/06 Update 9th Sep Pt. IV
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KarenEvans
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My Angel (A/I + CC ~ Teen) 4/18/06 Update 9th Sep Pt. IV
Last edited by KarenEvans on Sat Sep 09, 2006 3:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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incognito-sticks
- Fan Fic Follower
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Island Breeze
- Feedbacking Sci Fi King
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I like the concept. Alex returns as an angel. Poor Isabel, losing Alex and then Jesse, too. But this way Alex can come back into her life... albeit as an angel. I never saw "City Of Angels." I'll have to check it out. I did see "Heaven Can Wait," though, which was along a similar concept, though with a different twist. Anyway, great start! 
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Gerry
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Hopeless Candy-Coated, Stargazing, Dreamer!
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Gerry
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Hopeless Candy-Coated, Stargazing, Dreamer!
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KarenEvans
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- Location: Stargazing in Frasier Woods
Umm...Alex wasn't a part of their lives before as in he wasn't their friend.
He's always been Isabel's Guardian Angel,never revealing himself until after Jesse's death.
He's always been Isabel's Guardian Angel,never revealing himself until after Jesse's death.
Last edited by KarenEvans on Fri May 05, 2006 6:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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KarenEvans
- Fan Fic Follower
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Stargazing in Frasier Woods
A/N-The lyrics in this part and in the parts to follow are from 'Private Emotion' by Ricky Martin.No infringement in intended.
Thanks for the FB
Part II-
Isabel probably has no idea what she’s doing to me. What is wrong with me? I am not supposed to feel this way. I am supposed to love every living creature equally, not favour one above all the rest.
As I sit opposite her, holding her hands, it dawns on me that I have never had to face this problem in all the millennia that I have walked this Earth.
Yes…I have admired beautiful women before, may be even felt something like fondness for a few but never had I revealed myself to any.
Gabriel’s words echoed in the back of my mind - “You’re getting in too deep.”
Immediately I drop her hands and stand up, “I have to go Isabel.”
“What…why?” she asked, confused by his sudden abruptness “Did I do or say something?”
“No…it’s not you. I just have to go, for now.” he replied in a gentler tone
“Will you come again tonight?”
He looked at her long and hard before disappearing.
The next morning, Isabel wasn’t quite sure why she felt empty inside all of a sudden, sitting alone in her kitchen, a half eaten bowl of cereal lying on the table next to her. Leaving the cereal as it was she turned off the gas and checked the doors before heading off to work.
“Isabel I need the file for the Woods case pronto.” Philip Evans said as he came up to her desk “Are you finished with it?”
He looked up from a file he’d been reading when he didn’t get any response, Isabel had a far away look in her eyes “Honey…the Woods file please.”
“Oh…I’m sorry Daddy…what was it that you were saying?”
Philip naturally thought that Isabel hadn’t had a good night’s sleep and was obviously still in the grieving process, “Why don’t you go home and get some rest?” he offered, a little worried about his daughter
“I’m fine…just got a little distracted. It won’t happen again.” She tried to sound cheerful but they both knew she was trying too hard
“Isabel…take the rest of the day off, please. Nicole can manage your work for the rest of the day.”
Isabel was about to protest, she hated piling her work on to someone else, especially since she was the boss’s daughter but her father cut her off, “GO.”
Wordlessly she picked up her purse and some paperwork, which she intended to get done at home and went straight to her car.
Instead of going home she stopped the Crashdown Café, the little restaurant owned by Liz’s parents.
“Hey Mr.Parker.” she waved at Liz’s father when he emerged from the back room
“Isabel…nice to see you…it’s been ages since you last came here.” He greeted her with a smile and a quick hug
“I know…I had a sudden craving for a Will Smith burger.”
“Ah…good. It’s on the house.”
“Oh no I couldn’t accept…”
Jeff Parker waved his hand silencing her, “No buts…it’s not everyday that one of my daughter’s best friends comes in here. Go in to the kitchen and tell Jose to fix one up for you. He’s not doing much back there anyway…lazy bag of bones.”
Isabel giggled, it was like she was back in high school, with Mr.Parker still hounding Jose, “Okay…thanks. I’ll do that.”
Her order in hand she headed back home, wondering if Alexander would be there.
The house is so quite, I think I would be able to hear a pin drop. He’s not here. I am disappointed; subconsciously I was hoping that he’d be here when I entered. But then again that’s my mistake. I’m sure I am not the only person he’s supposed to watch over, and I am jealous.
I must be going mad…jealous of people I don’t even know or who might not even exist. What claim do I have on him anyway? I don’t even know him. He came in to my life this morning…well okay technically he’s been watching me my whole life but this morning was the first time I spoke to him.
“Try and think rationally, Isabel.” I tell myself crossly “I’m sure an angel has his work cut out.”
Still, just to be sure I call out for him, “Alexander…are you here?”
Once more I am greeted with silence. Obviously he’s not here; else I would have felt him.
I watch the young woman, as she calls out for Alex and I know then that an attachment has been formed.
Alex sent me to watch her today; he made some excuse of having to go watch one of his other charges but I know him better than that.
For some reason he’s been shaken up, and it has something to do with her.
Avoiding her is his way of dealing with whatever she said or did earlier this morning.
Making sure that she’s okay, I leave her house.
“Why are you avoiding her?”
Alex whirled around to face Gabriel, “Avoiding who?”
“Oh don’t play dumb with me Alex, I’ve known you far too long and I’ve been around a lot longer than you have.” Gabriel said with a hint of sarcasm in his tone
They both looked out over the city from the their vantage point on top of the water tower.
“I don’t know why I’m avoiding her…I don’t want to avoid her, everything in me is screaming at me, telling me to go to her but I know I mustn’t.”
I’ve kept Jesse’s closet locked ever since he died. I just couldn’t go in there and see all his suits hanging in a row, the neat pile of shirts, the sock drawer, his stack of t-shirts which he wore around the house. I tried clearing it out a week after I buried him but I broke down crying but I think it’s time now.
It’s been 10 weeks since he’s gone. Everyone else has moved on, the weather’s changed, Max calls once a week as does Liz. Michael and Maria invite me over ever so often but I just want people to treat me like they used to before I was widowed.
My parents got the hint I think, the last time they came over to molly- coddle me. I rather rudely told them to leave me in peace and stop treating me like I was an invalid. I still have to apologise to them for that outburst.
Alexander hasn’t shown himself since that day in my kitchen, when he left abruptly. I still sense his presence every now and then, but it’s only fleeting as though he comes to check up on me and seeing that I’m okay, he leaves.
I am beginning to think that he is avoiding another full on encounter with me.
After having breakfast, I trudge upstairs and go stand in front of the dreaded closet for a few minutes before opening it.
I yank it open, as if that would make things any easier and switch on the light taking in the sight of Jesse’s clothes for the first time in weeks. His mother will probably want to keep some of his things, I’m not sure though so I will have to call her.
Reaching out, I take the first suit, a black one with white pin stripes off the hanger and run my hands up and down the fabric. It was his favourite, he often wore it to court.
Here it comes, the constriction in my throat and the blurring of my vision.
A large part of me wants to run out of this confined space screaming, that life wasn’t fair, I am too young to be a widow but I steel myself and plant my feet firmly on the ground, as though there is a danger that they would run off without me. I am making no sense!
In the next ten minutes I take down and fold all his suits and lay them neatly in a suitcase, which I intend taking over to his mothers. I keep a lime green t-shirt aside, it’s one I had given him just after we were married, the rest I pack in to a cardboard carton along with his socks and underwear. His pile of formal shirts was the last thing left. I don’t know why, but I stared at it for say fifteen minutes or so, trying to memorize each one I think, may be in an attempt to try and imprint another part of Jesse in my mind. Solemnly, I picked them up and put them in to the suitcase.
Then it happened, I broke down. I remember hitting the closet floor in a half sitting half lying position and crying, deep long sobs, nearly choking. I hadn’t cried when I got the call that he had been shot by a stray bullet, a victim of a drive by shooting when he was in New York on a case. I had remained stone faced when the doctor came out of the operating theatre and told me that he hadn’t been able to save him.
Even at the funeral I had been in my own world, numb and unseeing. I guess I had been holding in an immense amount of grief and rage and it all just came to the surface after I had put away the last of his clothes. It hit me that I was closing the door on that chapter of my life forever.
I must have been crying for about 10 minutes when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around my upper body and my head being cradled against a firm chest. I didn’t need to look up to know that it was him, I opened my eyes slightly and saw his white shirt and cried my eyes out knowing that I need not explain anything to him. After all he knew everything about me.
It nearly broke my heart to see her lying on the closet floor. I had stayed away from her for weeks, just about passing through her house each day to see how she was doing but I couldn’t ignore her any longer.
I felt her pain and sorrow and knew that she was finally ready to let her grief out; and so I went to her and held her in my arms, lending her my strength, stroking her hair, neither of us saying a word.
They sat there like that, two lost souls, holding on to each other; one an angel falling in love for the first time, the other, a young woman who was letting another being see her vulnerable side, for perhaps the first time in her life.
Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can't you see
You're the only one who can shine for me
Thanks for the FB
Part II-
Isabel probably has no idea what she’s doing to me. What is wrong with me? I am not supposed to feel this way. I am supposed to love every living creature equally, not favour one above all the rest.
As I sit opposite her, holding her hands, it dawns on me that I have never had to face this problem in all the millennia that I have walked this Earth.
Yes…I have admired beautiful women before, may be even felt something like fondness for a few but never had I revealed myself to any.
Gabriel’s words echoed in the back of my mind - “You’re getting in too deep.”
Immediately I drop her hands and stand up, “I have to go Isabel.”
“What…why?” she asked, confused by his sudden abruptness “Did I do or say something?”
“No…it’s not you. I just have to go, for now.” he replied in a gentler tone
“Will you come again tonight?”
He looked at her long and hard before disappearing.
The next morning, Isabel wasn’t quite sure why she felt empty inside all of a sudden, sitting alone in her kitchen, a half eaten bowl of cereal lying on the table next to her. Leaving the cereal as it was she turned off the gas and checked the doors before heading off to work.
“Isabel I need the file for the Woods case pronto.” Philip Evans said as he came up to her desk “Are you finished with it?”
He looked up from a file he’d been reading when he didn’t get any response, Isabel had a far away look in her eyes “Honey…the Woods file please.”
“Oh…I’m sorry Daddy…what was it that you were saying?”
Philip naturally thought that Isabel hadn’t had a good night’s sleep and was obviously still in the grieving process, “Why don’t you go home and get some rest?” he offered, a little worried about his daughter
“I’m fine…just got a little distracted. It won’t happen again.” She tried to sound cheerful but they both knew she was trying too hard
“Isabel…take the rest of the day off, please. Nicole can manage your work for the rest of the day.”
Isabel was about to protest, she hated piling her work on to someone else, especially since she was the boss’s daughter but her father cut her off, “GO.”
Wordlessly she picked up her purse and some paperwork, which she intended to get done at home and went straight to her car.
Instead of going home she stopped the Crashdown Café, the little restaurant owned by Liz’s parents.
“Hey Mr.Parker.” she waved at Liz’s father when he emerged from the back room
“Isabel…nice to see you…it’s been ages since you last came here.” He greeted her with a smile and a quick hug
“I know…I had a sudden craving for a Will Smith burger.”
“Ah…good. It’s on the house.”
“Oh no I couldn’t accept…”
Jeff Parker waved his hand silencing her, “No buts…it’s not everyday that one of my daughter’s best friends comes in here. Go in to the kitchen and tell Jose to fix one up for you. He’s not doing much back there anyway…lazy bag of bones.”
Isabel giggled, it was like she was back in high school, with Mr.Parker still hounding Jose, “Okay…thanks. I’ll do that.”
Her order in hand she headed back home, wondering if Alexander would be there.
The house is so quite, I think I would be able to hear a pin drop. He’s not here. I am disappointed; subconsciously I was hoping that he’d be here when I entered. But then again that’s my mistake. I’m sure I am not the only person he’s supposed to watch over, and I am jealous.
I must be going mad…jealous of people I don’t even know or who might not even exist. What claim do I have on him anyway? I don’t even know him. He came in to my life this morning…well okay technically he’s been watching me my whole life but this morning was the first time I spoke to him.
“Try and think rationally, Isabel.” I tell myself crossly “I’m sure an angel has his work cut out.”
Still, just to be sure I call out for him, “Alexander…are you here?”
Once more I am greeted with silence. Obviously he’s not here; else I would have felt him.
I watch the young woman, as she calls out for Alex and I know then that an attachment has been formed.
Alex sent me to watch her today; he made some excuse of having to go watch one of his other charges but I know him better than that.
For some reason he’s been shaken up, and it has something to do with her.
Avoiding her is his way of dealing with whatever she said or did earlier this morning.
Making sure that she’s okay, I leave her house.
“Why are you avoiding her?”
Alex whirled around to face Gabriel, “Avoiding who?”
“Oh don’t play dumb with me Alex, I’ve known you far too long and I’ve been around a lot longer than you have.” Gabriel said with a hint of sarcasm in his tone
They both looked out over the city from the their vantage point on top of the water tower.
“I don’t know why I’m avoiding her…I don’t want to avoid her, everything in me is screaming at me, telling me to go to her but I know I mustn’t.”
I’ve kept Jesse’s closet locked ever since he died. I just couldn’t go in there and see all his suits hanging in a row, the neat pile of shirts, the sock drawer, his stack of t-shirts which he wore around the house. I tried clearing it out a week after I buried him but I broke down crying but I think it’s time now.
It’s been 10 weeks since he’s gone. Everyone else has moved on, the weather’s changed, Max calls once a week as does Liz. Michael and Maria invite me over ever so often but I just want people to treat me like they used to before I was widowed.
My parents got the hint I think, the last time they came over to molly- coddle me. I rather rudely told them to leave me in peace and stop treating me like I was an invalid. I still have to apologise to them for that outburst.
Alexander hasn’t shown himself since that day in my kitchen, when he left abruptly. I still sense his presence every now and then, but it’s only fleeting as though he comes to check up on me and seeing that I’m okay, he leaves.
I am beginning to think that he is avoiding another full on encounter with me.
After having breakfast, I trudge upstairs and go stand in front of the dreaded closet for a few minutes before opening it.
I yank it open, as if that would make things any easier and switch on the light taking in the sight of Jesse’s clothes for the first time in weeks. His mother will probably want to keep some of his things, I’m not sure though so I will have to call her.
Reaching out, I take the first suit, a black one with white pin stripes off the hanger and run my hands up and down the fabric. It was his favourite, he often wore it to court.
Here it comes, the constriction in my throat and the blurring of my vision.
A large part of me wants to run out of this confined space screaming, that life wasn’t fair, I am too young to be a widow but I steel myself and plant my feet firmly on the ground, as though there is a danger that they would run off without me. I am making no sense!
In the next ten minutes I take down and fold all his suits and lay them neatly in a suitcase, which I intend taking over to his mothers. I keep a lime green t-shirt aside, it’s one I had given him just after we were married, the rest I pack in to a cardboard carton along with his socks and underwear. His pile of formal shirts was the last thing left. I don’t know why, but I stared at it for say fifteen minutes or so, trying to memorize each one I think, may be in an attempt to try and imprint another part of Jesse in my mind. Solemnly, I picked them up and put them in to the suitcase.
Then it happened, I broke down. I remember hitting the closet floor in a half sitting half lying position and crying, deep long sobs, nearly choking. I hadn’t cried when I got the call that he had been shot by a stray bullet, a victim of a drive by shooting when he was in New York on a case. I had remained stone faced when the doctor came out of the operating theatre and told me that he hadn’t been able to save him.
Even at the funeral I had been in my own world, numb and unseeing. I guess I had been holding in an immense amount of grief and rage and it all just came to the surface after I had put away the last of his clothes. It hit me that I was closing the door on that chapter of my life forever.
I must have been crying for about 10 minutes when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around my upper body and my head being cradled against a firm chest. I didn’t need to look up to know that it was him, I opened my eyes slightly and saw his white shirt and cried my eyes out knowing that I need not explain anything to him. After all he knew everything about me.
It nearly broke my heart to see her lying on the closet floor. I had stayed away from her for weeks, just about passing through her house each day to see how she was doing but I couldn’t ignore her any longer.
I felt her pain and sorrow and knew that she was finally ready to let her grief out; and so I went to her and held her in my arms, lending her my strength, stroking her hair, neither of us saying a word.
They sat there like that, two lost souls, holding on to each other; one an angel falling in love for the first time, the other, a young woman who was letting another being see her vulnerable side, for perhaps the first time in her life.
Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can't you see
You're the only one who can shine for me
-
incognito-sticks
- Fan Fic Follower
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- Location: i have no idea
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KarenEvans
- Fan Fic Follower
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Stargazing in Frasier Woods
Part III-
I must have cried myself to exhaustion and sleep because I have no recollection of me walking to my bed and getting in to it but I find myself in bed, under the covers when I open my eyes. For a second I am confused, hastily I push the covers off and sit up, looking around. Then it comes back to me, he had come, he had come to me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, when I needed the strength he possesses.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror; I look like I’ve been through the spin drier. Reaching up, I touch my eyes gingerly with two fingers and feel the puffiness. The curtains have been drawn back, allowing the sun to filter in, and from its angle I am guessing its mid afternoon. I’ve been asleep for about five hours.
Getting out of bed, I pad across the room and retrieve a fresh towel from the linen closet out in the corridor. Turning on the shower, I take my favourite shampoo out of the toilet cabinet, I need a good scrub down. For the first time in weeks, I feel like making myself look presentable; the crying session really did help after all.
That evening Isabel found herself at her former mother-in-law’s front door, with a suitcase in hand. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she knocked three times, using the brass lion head knocker.
The relationship she shared with Conchita Rameirez was polite at best; they had hardly interacted since Jesse’s death. Conchita had always thought that Jesse could have done better when it came to his choice in a wife.
Pushing bitter thoughts aside Isabel was determined not to fight with the woman, on this evening, perhaps the last she’d spend any time with her.
“Isabel!” Conchita was clearly surpised “Is anything the matter?”
Isabel smiled, “Hi Conchita, can I come in?”
Conchita ushered her in to the living room and told her to sit down and make herself comfortable while she made them a cup of coffee each.
“Here you go.” she said ten minutes later when she emerged from the kitchen, with a plate of home-made cookies and the coffee, which she placed on the coffee table
“Now, tell me why have you come?”
Taking a sip of the coffee, Isabel arranged her thoughts in order, “I…packed some of Jesse’s things this morning and I thought you might like to keep some of things. The suitcase has all his suits and formal shirts, there are some cartons which I haven’t brought with me, those have his t-shirts, socks and underwear and some other casual clothes.”
At this point she took another sip of her coffee to moisten her mouth which was feeling parched, “If you want any of those things you can come over and go through them or I can bring them over here in a few days. I just thought that instead of lying in his cupboard they would come in handy if I donated them to charity.”
“Thank you…I think I would like to keep some of his things.” Conchita replied in a choked voice “I’ll come over one of these days and look through his things. It is very thoughtful of you to think of me.”
Isabel got up, not wanting to stay and make small talk, she had accomplished her mission and now she just wanted to go home, make dinner and relax.
“Give me a call before you come Conchita.” she said standing up “Thanks for the coffee.” It didn’t escape her notice that her mother-in-law looked very tired and she had aged visibly since Jesse’s passing.
Impulsively Isabel reached out and hugged the other woman, “You take care of yourself, Conchita. Jesse would want that.”
Isabel was equally surprised as Conchita by her actions and so said a hasty goodbye and rushed home, feeling better once she was inside her house.
She had taken the first step towards a life without Jesse, and she was proud of the way she had handled herself. Silently, she thanked Alexander for supporting her.
She cried until she could cry no more, and then she just fell limp against me. I wasn’t sure for a while whether she had fallen asleep so I kept sitting with her in the closet, silently, until I realized that she was snoring softly. I couldn’t help the smile that came to my lips; she was having a peaceful sleep after many-many weeks.
Unable to resist the temptation of having her so close, I bent down and smelt her hair. It carried the faint scent of jasmine. Briefly, I wonder what Gabriel would have to say about me smelling a woman’s hair without her knowledge, not that I would smell a woman’s hair with her knowledge. However, I allowed myself that small treat without feeling guilty. I have no need to feel guilty; I haven’t done anything besides helping her. Still, I find myself justifying my actions to Gabriel and to myself.
Gathering her sleeping frame in my arms I carried her to the bed and settled her in, gazing at her peaceful expression for a few seconds before leaving her. I’d like to think that I put it there. At that moment I was tempted to kiss her forehead but that would be taking things a little too far. I’d be in trouble, not that I am in the clear right now
I don’t know how much longer this will remain a secret just between Gabriel and me. Rumours are already circulating amongst my brothers, that one of their own is succumbing to the charms of a human female.
There is no such thing as a secret between angels; all of us know everything there is to know about each other. It’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out it’s me and matter is taken up to the Big Man himself. Then I’ll really be in for it. Who knows how many questions I will have to answer over the next few days or perhaps for the months to come?
“Has it ever happened before?” I ask Gabriel
We both are sitting in a tall tree, looking up at the moon rising in the night sky. Angels seem to have an affinity for all things tall, only in my case that affinity seems to include a certain tall blonde as well.
“Has what ever happened before?” he throws the question back at me without taking his eyes off the moon
I hesitate a little bit before continuing, if there’s anyone I can talk to about my little problem it is Gabriel. He seems to have an answer for every problem, he’s seen more than most of us combined.
“An angel falling in love with a mortal?”
There I had asked the dreaded question out loud. I half expected a thunderbolt to send me flying to the ground but the night sky remained calm.
“You’re not the first, if that’s what you’re getting at” he replied “but you’re the first to reveal himself to the mortal in question.”
Did I just detect an accusatory note in his voice? I can feel his penetrating gaze on my face now and I turn to look at him, “Is it so wrong for an angel to love a woman?”
Ignoring my question he asks me one instead, “What’s so special about her anyway? You haven’t ever fallen for one before.”
I close my eyes and picture Isabel, images of her from her childhood flash through my mind, then on to her adolescent years, when she was the most popular girl in school, on to her wedding day and finally to her husband’s funeral.
Opening my eyes I focus them on Gabriel’s face, “She’s special because she is totally unassuming about her beauty and uniqueness. She’s half Human and half Antarian, she’s the first of her kind. Behind that self-confident persona lies a vulnerability that I want to protect. She’ll protect her family with her life if she has to, she hasn’t had the need to yet, but I know that she has it in her. She’s scared that she’ll be rejected as a freak, but she has no clue that any man will be blessed to have her in his life. She’s completely blind when it comes to her wonderful qualities and that’s what makes me love her.”
“So I ask you once again-Is it so wrong for an angel to love a woman?” I ask, half scared of the answer, , if angels could sweat I’d be sweating buckets right now
“No it’s not.”
Two sets of eyes,one brown and the other green/brown,each in a different part of the town, looked up at the night sky at the same time, each one lost in thought about the possibilities the future might bring.
At that moment, neither knew that they were embarking on a journey not many before them, had had the courage to carry on with.
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
I must have cried myself to exhaustion and sleep because I have no recollection of me walking to my bed and getting in to it but I find myself in bed, under the covers when I open my eyes. For a second I am confused, hastily I push the covers off and sit up, looking around. Then it comes back to me, he had come, he had come to me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, when I needed the strength he possesses.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror; I look like I’ve been through the spin drier. Reaching up, I touch my eyes gingerly with two fingers and feel the puffiness. The curtains have been drawn back, allowing the sun to filter in, and from its angle I am guessing its mid afternoon. I’ve been asleep for about five hours.
Getting out of bed, I pad across the room and retrieve a fresh towel from the linen closet out in the corridor. Turning on the shower, I take my favourite shampoo out of the toilet cabinet, I need a good scrub down. For the first time in weeks, I feel like making myself look presentable; the crying session really did help after all.
That evening Isabel found herself at her former mother-in-law’s front door, with a suitcase in hand. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she knocked three times, using the brass lion head knocker.
The relationship she shared with Conchita Rameirez was polite at best; they had hardly interacted since Jesse’s death. Conchita had always thought that Jesse could have done better when it came to his choice in a wife.
Pushing bitter thoughts aside Isabel was determined not to fight with the woman, on this evening, perhaps the last she’d spend any time with her.
“Isabel!” Conchita was clearly surpised “Is anything the matter?”
Isabel smiled, “Hi Conchita, can I come in?”
Conchita ushered her in to the living room and told her to sit down and make herself comfortable while she made them a cup of coffee each.
“Here you go.” she said ten minutes later when she emerged from the kitchen, with a plate of home-made cookies and the coffee, which she placed on the coffee table
“Now, tell me why have you come?”
Taking a sip of the coffee, Isabel arranged her thoughts in order, “I…packed some of Jesse’s things this morning and I thought you might like to keep some of things. The suitcase has all his suits and formal shirts, there are some cartons which I haven’t brought with me, those have his t-shirts, socks and underwear and some other casual clothes.”
At this point she took another sip of her coffee to moisten her mouth which was feeling parched, “If you want any of those things you can come over and go through them or I can bring them over here in a few days. I just thought that instead of lying in his cupboard they would come in handy if I donated them to charity.”
“Thank you…I think I would like to keep some of his things.” Conchita replied in a choked voice “I’ll come over one of these days and look through his things. It is very thoughtful of you to think of me.”
Isabel got up, not wanting to stay and make small talk, she had accomplished her mission and now she just wanted to go home, make dinner and relax.
“Give me a call before you come Conchita.” she said standing up “Thanks for the coffee.” It didn’t escape her notice that her mother-in-law looked very tired and she had aged visibly since Jesse’s passing.
Impulsively Isabel reached out and hugged the other woman, “You take care of yourself, Conchita. Jesse would want that.”
Isabel was equally surprised as Conchita by her actions and so said a hasty goodbye and rushed home, feeling better once she was inside her house.
She had taken the first step towards a life without Jesse, and she was proud of the way she had handled herself. Silently, she thanked Alexander for supporting her.
She cried until she could cry no more, and then she just fell limp against me. I wasn’t sure for a while whether she had fallen asleep so I kept sitting with her in the closet, silently, until I realized that she was snoring softly. I couldn’t help the smile that came to my lips; she was having a peaceful sleep after many-many weeks.
Unable to resist the temptation of having her so close, I bent down and smelt her hair. It carried the faint scent of jasmine. Briefly, I wonder what Gabriel would have to say about me smelling a woman’s hair without her knowledge, not that I would smell a woman’s hair with her knowledge. However, I allowed myself that small treat without feeling guilty. I have no need to feel guilty; I haven’t done anything besides helping her. Still, I find myself justifying my actions to Gabriel and to myself.
Gathering her sleeping frame in my arms I carried her to the bed and settled her in, gazing at her peaceful expression for a few seconds before leaving her. I’d like to think that I put it there. At that moment I was tempted to kiss her forehead but that would be taking things a little too far. I’d be in trouble, not that I am in the clear right now
I don’t know how much longer this will remain a secret just between Gabriel and me. Rumours are already circulating amongst my brothers, that one of their own is succumbing to the charms of a human female.
There is no such thing as a secret between angels; all of us know everything there is to know about each other. It’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out it’s me and matter is taken up to the Big Man himself. Then I’ll really be in for it. Who knows how many questions I will have to answer over the next few days or perhaps for the months to come?
“Has it ever happened before?” I ask Gabriel
We both are sitting in a tall tree, looking up at the moon rising in the night sky. Angels seem to have an affinity for all things tall, only in my case that affinity seems to include a certain tall blonde as well.
“Has what ever happened before?” he throws the question back at me without taking his eyes off the moon
I hesitate a little bit before continuing, if there’s anyone I can talk to about my little problem it is Gabriel. He seems to have an answer for every problem, he’s seen more than most of us combined.
“An angel falling in love with a mortal?”
There I had asked the dreaded question out loud. I half expected a thunderbolt to send me flying to the ground but the night sky remained calm.
“You’re not the first, if that’s what you’re getting at” he replied “but you’re the first to reveal himself to the mortal in question.”
Did I just detect an accusatory note in his voice? I can feel his penetrating gaze on my face now and I turn to look at him, “Is it so wrong for an angel to love a woman?”
Ignoring my question he asks me one instead, “What’s so special about her anyway? You haven’t ever fallen for one before.”
I close my eyes and picture Isabel, images of her from her childhood flash through my mind, then on to her adolescent years, when she was the most popular girl in school, on to her wedding day and finally to her husband’s funeral.
Opening my eyes I focus them on Gabriel’s face, “She’s special because she is totally unassuming about her beauty and uniqueness. She’s half Human and half Antarian, she’s the first of her kind. Behind that self-confident persona lies a vulnerability that I want to protect. She’ll protect her family with her life if she has to, she hasn’t had the need to yet, but I know that she has it in her. She’s scared that she’ll be rejected as a freak, but she has no clue that any man will be blessed to have her in his life. She’s completely blind when it comes to her wonderful qualities and that’s what makes me love her.”
“So I ask you once again-Is it so wrong for an angel to love a woman?” I ask, half scared of the answer, , if angels could sweat I’d be sweating buckets right now
“No it’s not.”
Two sets of eyes,one brown and the other green/brown,each in a different part of the town, looked up at the night sky at the same time, each one lost in thought about the possibilities the future might bring.
At that moment, neither knew that they were embarking on a journey not many before them, had had the courage to carry on with.
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
-
KarenEvans
- Fan Fic Follower
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Stargazing in Frasier Woods
Part IV-
It became a routine for Alex and Isabel. Each evening she would wait for him to appear after she had finished her dinner.
Usually she sat in the front porch, on the swing where she had first spoken out aloud to him question his presence.
“I went to the shelter today with Jesse’s mother.” She spoke out even though Alex hadn’t yet physically appeared “We dropped of a few boxes of his clothes and shoes. I have also decided to donate all his law books to the Law Faculty at the community college.”
Unknown to her, Maria had been walking up the driveway, and had heard her speaking.
“Hey Izzy.” Isabel jumped, startled by Maria’s voice
“Maria…you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Maria apologized and joined Isabel on the swing “So who were you talking to?”
“Me…I wasn’t talking to anyone.” Isabel tried to feign surprise “Who would I be talking to?”
But Maria was like a dog with a bone, “Sure you were, I heard you telling someone about donating Jesse’s law books.”
Isabel’s mind raced, trying to come up with an explanation. “Umm…I just like to talk about my day out loud sometimes, makes me feel like I am not alone.”
She hoped that, that would be a good enough explanation and Maria would drop the subject.
Maria looked at her for a few seconds, tears filling her eyes, before she enveloped her in a big hug, “I’m so sorry chica. I can only imagine how lonely you must be here all by yourself. The rest of us have gone on with our lives but you must still be grieving.” she said pulling away from her after a minute
Isabel shook her head, “No Maria…you don’t’ have to be sorry. It’s obvious people will move on with their lives, we can’t keep hanging on to a memory. Yes…a part of me is still grieving, for what I am no more…a wife. But I am making an effort to move on. I donated all of Jesse’s clothes and shoes to charity. I have to bid farewell to my old life before I can start a new one.”
“You’re very brave Izzy…Michael and I really admire the way you’ve handled yourself.”
“Oh I have had help.” Isabel smiled mysteriously
“Help…you mean you’ve been seeing a shrink?” Maria asked curiously
“No…not really. I just feel like someone is watching over me.”
Maria obviously thought Isabel meant Jesse, as a way of consoling herself, that her dead husband was watching over her, and kept quiet, not knowing what to say.
“Where’s Michael?”
“He’s at home…he’s suddenly got the urge to make a cabinet and has been creating a ruckus the whole day banging away at the wood with the hammer and sawing…I just had to get out of there for a while, my ears are ringing.”
They both laughed, picturing Michael toiling away over a cabinet and no doubt cursing the wood and the tools.
Maria left after an hour or so and Isabel decided to move indoors since it had become chillier outside.
“That was a close call.” said a familiar voice from the kitchen when she entered the house
She smiled and walked towards the source of the voice, “I know but I think I did a good job of covering my tracks. Don’t you think?” She grinned at him conspiratorially
“Well…err” Alex pretended to ponder the question for a moment, Isabel getting impatient went up to him and punched him on his arm “You better say yes…or I won’t talk to you anymore.”
“Emotional blackmail huh…I was warned about this.” He laughed and backed away from her rubbing his arm “and by the way, though I am an angel I can still feel and you’re pretty strong.”
“Thanks.” Isabel grinned back at him and opened the refrigerator to take out a cherry coke, “I would offer you one but since you say you don’t need to eat or drink…”
“I might try it one of these days.”
They retired to the living room and sat o the sofa side by side, “As I was telling you before Maria came, I gave away most of Jesse’s stuff today.”
Alex looked at her with admiration clearly evident in his eyes, “You sure you’re not moving too quickly…what if you decide later on that you had wanted to keep those things?” he asked out of concern
“Alex…I can call you that right…Alexander sounds way too formal and we’re friends now. Anyway, I’ve had five months to decide what I wanted and what I didn’t want and in the end I decided that it was no use keeping everything. I have kept a few things, which have special memories attached to them but other than that, the rest of the things were of no use to me and somebody else will benefit from them more.”
“Have I ever told you that I think you are amazing?” Alex asked her seriously
Isabel blushed, “I…I don’t think so, but thanks.”
They both sat there for a few more minutes, feeling slightly awkward about the moment they had just shared. Finally Alex got up, “I better be going…you take care Isabel.” He vanished before she could say anything.
I hate it when he does that…just leaving abruptly, like the hounds of hell after him.
It occurred to Isabel that she had really become used to Alex’s daily visits, looked forward to them the whole day and had started taking them for granted. Part of her wondered what she would do if his visits ceased for some reason.
I think I would hate him not coming here more than hating him disappearing abruptly.
************************************************************************
The doorbell rang one evening, “Now who?” Isabel questioned as she rinsed off her dinner plate, she wiped her hands on her apron, took it off and hung it on its peg.
This better not be Alex’s idea of a joke, showing up at my front door instead of just appearing out of nowhere.
She yanked open the door fully expecting to see Alex’s radiant face but instead she was greeted with the sight of Kyle Valenti. Before she could react he stepped forward putting his arms around her waist and lifting her up in a hug.
“Kyle!” Isabel exclaimed “Put me down you big bozo.”
“Is that any way to greet an old friend?” Kyle put her down and took a step back, with a hurt look on his face
“Come in…when did you get back from Cyprus?” Isabel asked as she showed him in to the living room where they sat down on the sofa, facing each other
“I flew in a few hours ago…took a nap and came straight over here. I’m sorry about Jesse, Isabel. I wanted to call you but I just didn’t know what to say…I picked up the phone a dozen times but every time I chickened out.”
Kyle’s face had lost its smile instead he looked guilty “I’m really sorry Izzy, for not being here for you.”
Isabel took one of Kyle’s hands in one of hers, “Kyle…it’s okay. You’re here now…and I’m not sure myself what I would have said to me so you don’t have to apologise.”
He visibly relaxed after that, letting out a breath, which he had been holding in, “So how’ve you been?”
“Oh I’ve been pretty good off late…making an effort to move on. It was strange initially, not hearing Jesse tinkering around the house every morning and I had gotten so used to being a wife but I’m coping. Just taking one day at a time.”
At this point, she cocked her head to one side, Alex was somewhere in the house. She excused herself on the pretext of getting both of them something to drink.
Once in the kitchen she called out softly, “Alex?” She looked around expecting him to show himself to her but he didn’t so she got out a drink for Kyle and went back in to the living room
“One year passed pretty quickly, it seems just like yesterday that we were all saying bye to you at the airport?” Isabel said handing him the drink and seating herself comfortable, one leg drawn up under her.
“Yeah it was amazing being part of the Special Forces in Cyprus…when I decided to follow in dad’s footsteps I never thought that I’d get to be part of the UN’s Special Forces for a year in another country. I made friends with some guys from other countries.”
“I’m glad you had a good time but I’m sure Jim must be glad to have you back.”
They kept talking for the next few hours, catching up on old times till they both looked at the clock and realised it was close to midnight. Kyle jumped but, “Oh hell, I was supposed to have dinner with dad…he’s going to shoot me. I better get home Izzy.”
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and picked up his jacket, making for the door, “G’night Izzy…was good to see you after all this time.”
“Night Kyle…thanks for coming over.”
She shut the door and went upstairs, feeling too tired to put away the dirty glasses.
“Alex…are you going to talk or what?” she asked once again wondering why he had remained quiet the last time she had called out to him
“I didn’t think you would want to be disturbed.” He said walking in from her bedroom balcony “Looked like you were having a nice time, Kyle’s looking well.”
“Were you here the whole time he was?” she asked going in to the bathroom to change in to her nightgown
“No not all the time…kept flitting in and out. I had other things to do.” he replied
In actuality Alex had been slightly jealous of Kyle getting to spend the entire evening with Isabel and so had gone away for a while.
‘Angels shouldn’t get jealous, angels shouldn’t get jealous’-is what he kept repeating to himself over and over again as he saw Kyle kiss Isabel on her cheek.
“I see.” Isabel looked at him as she emerged from the bathroom, taking in his appearance
Angels must always look good ‘coz I have never seen him with even a hair out of place
“Do you always wear the same clothes?” She asked bluntly, sitting down on her bed
Alex seemed a little taken a back with her question.
‘Where did that come?’ he asked himself silently
“Umm…Yeah I guess so, we don’t really need to change considering we don’t get dirty. One of the perks of being an angel.” He said with a grin
Isabel felt her heartstrings contract as she watched him grin, she couldn’t quite put her finger on why she felt all warm and fuzzy all of a sudden.
“Will you be allowed to wear something else if you wish to do so?” she asked, an idea forming in her head
“I suppose so…I haven’t heard of any rule that says we have to strictly adhere to this dress code. What’re you thinking Isabel?”
Isabel waved her hand, trying to dismiss the subject “Never you mind…we’ll talk about that later.”
Alex was about to protest but she interrupted, “Will you stay till I fall asleep?”
“Always Izzy.”
Isabel smiled as she closed her eyes, ‘Tonight’s the first time he’s called me Izzy.’ she thought to herself happily
Several weeks passed after Kyle’s first visit and since then the gang, or what was left of them in Roswell had hung out together like old times. Michael was glad to have at least one male member of the gang back in town. They had even had a barbeque in Isabel’s backyard.
“I think we should get them together.” Maria whispered to Michael, who was flipping burgers on the grill
“Get whom together?” he asked without looking up, not really interested in Maria’s match making skills
Maria rolled her eyes in frustration, “Them you big lout.” She pointed at Isabel and Kyle who were sitting with Jim, who was regaling them with jokes from his days at the police academy
“Are you crazy, Pixie? She’s only been a widow for seven and a half months and already you want to set her up on a date, with KYLE of all people.” Michael looked at her as if she had lost her mind “No…you keep your nose out of other people’s business.”
Placing her fists on her hips Maria gave him a withering look, “The ‘other people’ you are referring to happen to be your sister and one of your best friends. We all know Kyle had a crush on Izzy in high school and how many steady relationships has he had anyway? I’m sure given time he would have asked her out, it’s just that Jesse came in to the picture. Look how he makes her laugh.” She nudged Michael, making him look to where she was discreetly pointing
“Looks like it’s Jim making her laugh, not Kyle.” He muttered under his breath “I just don’t see Kyle with Isabel…they’re great as friends but other than that…uughhh…I don’t want to think about it. So spare me Maria…this idea of yours is ridiculous.”
Clearly Michael wasn’t going to help her so Maria decided that she would talk to Kyle herself.
************************************************************************
One morning I was going through the paper and saw an ad for an apartment. On an impulse I decided to go check it out. It was in a nice part of town, not too far from the Crashdown, centrally located, close to work, it sounded ideal.
I gave the landlady a call and she told me to meet her in an hour, which I did. She gave me the tour. The place could do with a face-lift but that’s an easy enough job for me to undertake, it’ll just require a little alien mojo.
One master bedroom with an adjoining bathroom and balcony, a guest bedroom with a bathroom, a compact kitchen with a dining area and a cosy living room. What more could I ask for?
I told her I would take it and that I would move in, in two weeks time. I couldn’t wait to get home from work that day, time didn’t seem to move fast enough. I was bursting to tell Alex.
“Alex…Alex, I did something today. I went and saw an apartment and I liked it so much that I am buying it.” I said loudly as though he was deaf just because he wasn’t visible yet
He appeared, sitting on a bar stool next to the kitchen counter, “What about this place?”
“I’ll ask my dad to help me sell it.”
“Isabel, are you sure about this?” He got up off the stool and approached me
“Yes.” I said in a shaky voice, I tried to maintain my composure but whenever he was around me I just couldn’t keep up any of my walls, I was completely at ease with him and I knew that I didn’t have to pretend to be strong in front of him like I did with everyone else
“I think you should wait.” He said in a gentle tone
I couldn’t look at him because then he would see that my eyes were filling with tears.
“Isabel, look at me.” He placed his index finger under my chin and lifted my face “Look at me, please.”
I met his eyes, and all I saw in them was compassion, understanding, loyalty and faith.
“This place is too huge for me…on some days I feel like I am rattling around in a tomb. I have to get out of here if I am ever going to start afresh. This place holds only memories of the past.”
I was starting to choke up but I carried on “I need to make some newer, happier memories and this house isn’t the right place for me to do that. I can’t do that here…it feels like I am being disloyal to Jesse’s memories.”
He pulled me towards him at that point and wrapped his arms around me protectively, running his hands up and down my back, “Shh…you’re anything but disloyal Izzy. Jesse wants you to be happy, he wouldn’t want his memory to hold you back.”
It struck me that he spoke of Jesse as though he had had a conversation with him; which is quite possible considering Alex is an angel but I didn’t ask him any questions regarding that subject.
“You’re so good to me, Alex.” I whispered against his coat
I lay my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
Alex stopped rubbing Isabel’s back, when he felt her breath on his neck. His heart was racing, he had successfully managed to avoid this situation for months now, ever since he’d declared his feelings for Isabel to Gabriel, he had been extra careful when he was around her but somehow tonight he had been unable to keep her at arms length.
Isabel looked up at him, “Alex…I’m going to kiss you.” she said softly and slowly she stood on the tips of her toes, giving him enough time to bolt, if he wanted to. He remained where he was barely moving, breathing rapidly, waiting for her lips to touch his and they did.
It was a soft gentle kiss, which lasted for a few seconds, but for Alex it heralded a whole new beginning. He knew then and there, that he could no longer deny himself the woman in his arms.
“Alex, say something.” Isabel said anxiously
“You shouldn’t have done that Izzy.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve only made it harder for me not to love you.”
Isabel wasn’t quite sure how she was managing to remain so calm, because her mind was screeching at her, telling her that that kiss was pure electricity, that the man…angel in front of her was her true love. Yet, everything was so confusing.
“Would be so bad for you to love me or for me to love you?” she asked him solemnly
When your soul is tired and your heart is weak
Do you think of love as one way street
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes
Can't you see me here, how can you deny
“NO…no it wouldn’t. It would be wonderful, but…”
Isabel cut him off by placing a finger on his lips, “Please…don’t say anything else Alex…don’t spoil this moment.” Without another word she led him upstairs and to her bed where she lay down besides him, her own arms wrapped around his waist possessively.
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
Alex on the other hand knew he would have a lot of explaining to do very soon but somehow he wasn’t all that bothered by it, he had kissed the woman he loved and it felt wonderful. She might just love him back. Life was full of possibilities.
_________________
It became a routine for Alex and Isabel. Each evening she would wait for him to appear after she had finished her dinner.
Usually she sat in the front porch, on the swing where she had first spoken out aloud to him question his presence.
“I went to the shelter today with Jesse’s mother.” She spoke out even though Alex hadn’t yet physically appeared “We dropped of a few boxes of his clothes and shoes. I have also decided to donate all his law books to the Law Faculty at the community college.”
Unknown to her, Maria had been walking up the driveway, and had heard her speaking.
“Hey Izzy.” Isabel jumped, startled by Maria’s voice
“Maria…you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Maria apologized and joined Isabel on the swing “So who were you talking to?”
“Me…I wasn’t talking to anyone.” Isabel tried to feign surprise “Who would I be talking to?”
But Maria was like a dog with a bone, “Sure you were, I heard you telling someone about donating Jesse’s law books.”
Isabel’s mind raced, trying to come up with an explanation. “Umm…I just like to talk about my day out loud sometimes, makes me feel like I am not alone.”
She hoped that, that would be a good enough explanation and Maria would drop the subject.
Maria looked at her for a few seconds, tears filling her eyes, before she enveloped her in a big hug, “I’m so sorry chica. I can only imagine how lonely you must be here all by yourself. The rest of us have gone on with our lives but you must still be grieving.” she said pulling away from her after a minute
Isabel shook her head, “No Maria…you don’t’ have to be sorry. It’s obvious people will move on with their lives, we can’t keep hanging on to a memory. Yes…a part of me is still grieving, for what I am no more…a wife. But I am making an effort to move on. I donated all of Jesse’s clothes and shoes to charity. I have to bid farewell to my old life before I can start a new one.”
“You’re very brave Izzy…Michael and I really admire the way you’ve handled yourself.”
“Oh I have had help.” Isabel smiled mysteriously
“Help…you mean you’ve been seeing a shrink?” Maria asked curiously
“No…not really. I just feel like someone is watching over me.”
Maria obviously thought Isabel meant Jesse, as a way of consoling herself, that her dead husband was watching over her, and kept quiet, not knowing what to say.
“Where’s Michael?”
“He’s at home…he’s suddenly got the urge to make a cabinet and has been creating a ruckus the whole day banging away at the wood with the hammer and sawing…I just had to get out of there for a while, my ears are ringing.”
They both laughed, picturing Michael toiling away over a cabinet and no doubt cursing the wood and the tools.
Maria left after an hour or so and Isabel decided to move indoors since it had become chillier outside.
“That was a close call.” said a familiar voice from the kitchen when she entered the house
She smiled and walked towards the source of the voice, “I know but I think I did a good job of covering my tracks. Don’t you think?” She grinned at him conspiratorially
“Well…err” Alex pretended to ponder the question for a moment, Isabel getting impatient went up to him and punched him on his arm “You better say yes…or I won’t talk to you anymore.”
“Emotional blackmail huh…I was warned about this.” He laughed and backed away from her rubbing his arm “and by the way, though I am an angel I can still feel and you’re pretty strong.”
“Thanks.” Isabel grinned back at him and opened the refrigerator to take out a cherry coke, “I would offer you one but since you say you don’t need to eat or drink…”
“I might try it one of these days.”
They retired to the living room and sat o the sofa side by side, “As I was telling you before Maria came, I gave away most of Jesse’s stuff today.”
Alex looked at her with admiration clearly evident in his eyes, “You sure you’re not moving too quickly…what if you decide later on that you had wanted to keep those things?” he asked out of concern
“Alex…I can call you that right…Alexander sounds way too formal and we’re friends now. Anyway, I’ve had five months to decide what I wanted and what I didn’t want and in the end I decided that it was no use keeping everything. I have kept a few things, which have special memories attached to them but other than that, the rest of the things were of no use to me and somebody else will benefit from them more.”
“Have I ever told you that I think you are amazing?” Alex asked her seriously
Isabel blushed, “I…I don’t think so, but thanks.”
They both sat there for a few more minutes, feeling slightly awkward about the moment they had just shared. Finally Alex got up, “I better be going…you take care Isabel.” He vanished before she could say anything.
I hate it when he does that…just leaving abruptly, like the hounds of hell after him.
It occurred to Isabel that she had really become used to Alex’s daily visits, looked forward to them the whole day and had started taking them for granted. Part of her wondered what she would do if his visits ceased for some reason.
I think I would hate him not coming here more than hating him disappearing abruptly.
************************************************************************
The doorbell rang one evening, “Now who?” Isabel questioned as she rinsed off her dinner plate, she wiped her hands on her apron, took it off and hung it on its peg.
This better not be Alex’s idea of a joke, showing up at my front door instead of just appearing out of nowhere.
She yanked open the door fully expecting to see Alex’s radiant face but instead she was greeted with the sight of Kyle Valenti. Before she could react he stepped forward putting his arms around her waist and lifting her up in a hug.
“Kyle!” Isabel exclaimed “Put me down you big bozo.”
“Is that any way to greet an old friend?” Kyle put her down and took a step back, with a hurt look on his face
“Come in…when did you get back from Cyprus?” Isabel asked as she showed him in to the living room where they sat down on the sofa, facing each other
“I flew in a few hours ago…took a nap and came straight over here. I’m sorry about Jesse, Isabel. I wanted to call you but I just didn’t know what to say…I picked up the phone a dozen times but every time I chickened out.”
Kyle’s face had lost its smile instead he looked guilty “I’m really sorry Izzy, for not being here for you.”
Isabel took one of Kyle’s hands in one of hers, “Kyle…it’s okay. You’re here now…and I’m not sure myself what I would have said to me so you don’t have to apologise.”
He visibly relaxed after that, letting out a breath, which he had been holding in, “So how’ve you been?”
“Oh I’ve been pretty good off late…making an effort to move on. It was strange initially, not hearing Jesse tinkering around the house every morning and I had gotten so used to being a wife but I’m coping. Just taking one day at a time.”
At this point, she cocked her head to one side, Alex was somewhere in the house. She excused herself on the pretext of getting both of them something to drink.
Once in the kitchen she called out softly, “Alex?” She looked around expecting him to show himself to her but he didn’t so she got out a drink for Kyle and went back in to the living room
“One year passed pretty quickly, it seems just like yesterday that we were all saying bye to you at the airport?” Isabel said handing him the drink and seating herself comfortable, one leg drawn up under her.
“Yeah it was amazing being part of the Special Forces in Cyprus…when I decided to follow in dad’s footsteps I never thought that I’d get to be part of the UN’s Special Forces for a year in another country. I made friends with some guys from other countries.”
“I’m glad you had a good time but I’m sure Jim must be glad to have you back.”
They kept talking for the next few hours, catching up on old times till they both looked at the clock and realised it was close to midnight. Kyle jumped but, “Oh hell, I was supposed to have dinner with dad…he’s going to shoot me. I better get home Izzy.”
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and picked up his jacket, making for the door, “G’night Izzy…was good to see you after all this time.”
“Night Kyle…thanks for coming over.”
She shut the door and went upstairs, feeling too tired to put away the dirty glasses.
“Alex…are you going to talk or what?” she asked once again wondering why he had remained quiet the last time she had called out to him
“I didn’t think you would want to be disturbed.” He said walking in from her bedroom balcony “Looked like you were having a nice time, Kyle’s looking well.”
“Were you here the whole time he was?” she asked going in to the bathroom to change in to her nightgown
“No not all the time…kept flitting in and out. I had other things to do.” he replied
In actuality Alex had been slightly jealous of Kyle getting to spend the entire evening with Isabel and so had gone away for a while.
‘Angels shouldn’t get jealous, angels shouldn’t get jealous’-is what he kept repeating to himself over and over again as he saw Kyle kiss Isabel on her cheek.
“I see.” Isabel looked at him as she emerged from the bathroom, taking in his appearance
Angels must always look good ‘coz I have never seen him with even a hair out of place
“Do you always wear the same clothes?” She asked bluntly, sitting down on her bed
Alex seemed a little taken a back with her question.
‘Where did that come?’ he asked himself silently
“Umm…Yeah I guess so, we don’t really need to change considering we don’t get dirty. One of the perks of being an angel.” He said with a grin
Isabel felt her heartstrings contract as she watched him grin, she couldn’t quite put her finger on why she felt all warm and fuzzy all of a sudden.
“Will you be allowed to wear something else if you wish to do so?” she asked, an idea forming in her head
“I suppose so…I haven’t heard of any rule that says we have to strictly adhere to this dress code. What’re you thinking Isabel?”
Isabel waved her hand, trying to dismiss the subject “Never you mind…we’ll talk about that later.”
Alex was about to protest but she interrupted, “Will you stay till I fall asleep?”
“Always Izzy.”
Isabel smiled as she closed her eyes, ‘Tonight’s the first time he’s called me Izzy.’ she thought to herself happily
Several weeks passed after Kyle’s first visit and since then the gang, or what was left of them in Roswell had hung out together like old times. Michael was glad to have at least one male member of the gang back in town. They had even had a barbeque in Isabel’s backyard.
“I think we should get them together.” Maria whispered to Michael, who was flipping burgers on the grill
“Get whom together?” he asked without looking up, not really interested in Maria’s match making skills
Maria rolled her eyes in frustration, “Them you big lout.” She pointed at Isabel and Kyle who were sitting with Jim, who was regaling them with jokes from his days at the police academy
“Are you crazy, Pixie? She’s only been a widow for seven and a half months and already you want to set her up on a date, with KYLE of all people.” Michael looked at her as if she had lost her mind “No…you keep your nose out of other people’s business.”
Placing her fists on her hips Maria gave him a withering look, “The ‘other people’ you are referring to happen to be your sister and one of your best friends. We all know Kyle had a crush on Izzy in high school and how many steady relationships has he had anyway? I’m sure given time he would have asked her out, it’s just that Jesse came in to the picture. Look how he makes her laugh.” She nudged Michael, making him look to where she was discreetly pointing
“Looks like it’s Jim making her laugh, not Kyle.” He muttered under his breath “I just don’t see Kyle with Isabel…they’re great as friends but other than that…uughhh…I don’t want to think about it. So spare me Maria…this idea of yours is ridiculous.”
Clearly Michael wasn’t going to help her so Maria decided that she would talk to Kyle herself.
************************************************************************
One morning I was going through the paper and saw an ad for an apartment. On an impulse I decided to go check it out. It was in a nice part of town, not too far from the Crashdown, centrally located, close to work, it sounded ideal.
I gave the landlady a call and she told me to meet her in an hour, which I did. She gave me the tour. The place could do with a face-lift but that’s an easy enough job for me to undertake, it’ll just require a little alien mojo.
One master bedroom with an adjoining bathroom and balcony, a guest bedroom with a bathroom, a compact kitchen with a dining area and a cosy living room. What more could I ask for?
I told her I would take it and that I would move in, in two weeks time. I couldn’t wait to get home from work that day, time didn’t seem to move fast enough. I was bursting to tell Alex.
“Alex…Alex, I did something today. I went and saw an apartment and I liked it so much that I am buying it.” I said loudly as though he was deaf just because he wasn’t visible yet
He appeared, sitting on a bar stool next to the kitchen counter, “What about this place?”
“I’ll ask my dad to help me sell it.”
“Isabel, are you sure about this?” He got up off the stool and approached me
“Yes.” I said in a shaky voice, I tried to maintain my composure but whenever he was around me I just couldn’t keep up any of my walls, I was completely at ease with him and I knew that I didn’t have to pretend to be strong in front of him like I did with everyone else
“I think you should wait.” He said in a gentle tone
I couldn’t look at him because then he would see that my eyes were filling with tears.
“Isabel, look at me.” He placed his index finger under my chin and lifted my face “Look at me, please.”
I met his eyes, and all I saw in them was compassion, understanding, loyalty and faith.
“This place is too huge for me…on some days I feel like I am rattling around in a tomb. I have to get out of here if I am ever going to start afresh. This place holds only memories of the past.”
I was starting to choke up but I carried on “I need to make some newer, happier memories and this house isn’t the right place for me to do that. I can’t do that here…it feels like I am being disloyal to Jesse’s memories.”
He pulled me towards him at that point and wrapped his arms around me protectively, running his hands up and down my back, “Shh…you’re anything but disloyal Izzy. Jesse wants you to be happy, he wouldn’t want his memory to hold you back.”
It struck me that he spoke of Jesse as though he had had a conversation with him; which is quite possible considering Alex is an angel but I didn’t ask him any questions regarding that subject.
“You’re so good to me, Alex.” I whispered against his coat
I lay my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
Alex stopped rubbing Isabel’s back, when he felt her breath on his neck. His heart was racing, he had successfully managed to avoid this situation for months now, ever since he’d declared his feelings for Isabel to Gabriel, he had been extra careful when he was around her but somehow tonight he had been unable to keep her at arms length.
Isabel looked up at him, “Alex…I’m going to kiss you.” she said softly and slowly she stood on the tips of her toes, giving him enough time to bolt, if he wanted to. He remained where he was barely moving, breathing rapidly, waiting for her lips to touch his and they did.
It was a soft gentle kiss, which lasted for a few seconds, but for Alex it heralded a whole new beginning. He knew then and there, that he could no longer deny himself the woman in his arms.
“Alex, say something.” Isabel said anxiously
“You shouldn’t have done that Izzy.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve only made it harder for me not to love you.”
Isabel wasn’t quite sure how she was managing to remain so calm, because her mind was screeching at her, telling her that that kiss was pure electricity, that the man…angel in front of her was her true love. Yet, everything was so confusing.
“Would be so bad for you to love me or for me to love you?” she asked him solemnly
When your soul is tired and your heart is weak
Do you think of love as one way street
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes
Can't you see me here, how can you deny
“NO…no it wouldn’t. It would be wonderful, but…”
Isabel cut him off by placing a finger on his lips, “Please…don’t say anything else Alex…don’t spoil this moment.” Without another word she led him upstairs and to her bed where she lay down besides him, her own arms wrapped around his waist possessively.
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
Alex on the other hand knew he would have a lot of explaining to do very soon but somehow he wasn’t all that bothered by it, he had kissed the woman he loved and it felt wonderful. She might just love him back. Life was full of possibilities.
_________________
-
KaraGail
- Fan Fic Follower
- Posts: 134
- Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2005 8:07 pm
Have I told you how much I love this story, KAren? 
:
You have a great theme going for these characters and I just love that they have some tough decisions to make about their relationship.
Will Alex give up his immortality for love? will Isabel accept that she has to share Alex's time with others and some times never know where he is or what he is doing?
How both of them have friends that worry about them and do not want to see them hurt.
And all they want to do is be in love
I really do enjoy this and can't wait to see what you have in store for these loveable characters
Kara
: You have a great theme going for these characters and I just love that they have some tough decisions to make about their relationship.
Will Alex give up his immortality for love? will Isabel accept that she has to share Alex's time with others and some times never know where he is or what he is doing?
How both of them have friends that worry about them and do not want to see them hurt.
And all they want to do is be in love
I really do enjoy this and can't wait to see what you have in store for these loveable characters
Kara
