Belthazor, Attorney at Law Teen

[NoAzMale]

CHARMED
"Belthazor, Attorney At Law"
By J. B. Tilton
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Rating: K+ (for mild language)

Disclaimer: "Charmed" and all related characters and events are the property of the WB television network, except for those characters specifically created for this story. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement of copyright is intended.

(Authors note: This story takes place during season 5.)

When bureaucracy demons force the girls to defend a mortal in the Other World Court, the Charmed Ones receive some unexpected help.

ONE

Phoebe and Paige came into the kitchen just as Piper was preparing dinner. It had been a long day for all of them. They were all looking forward to a quiet, restful weekend with the hope that no demons would suddenly make an appearance.

"Hey, sis," said Phoebe, looking over the veritable feast Piper had prepared, "you sure seem to have been busy."

"Just fixing dinner," said Piper. "I thought I'd just throw something together tonight, if you don't mind. I didn't really feel like fixing anything elaborate."

"This is throwing something together?" questioned Paige. "Looks like you've been in here all day."

"Only a couple of hours," said Piper. "I'm almost finished. Another half hour or so and we can all sit down to a nice dinner."

"Where's Leo?" Phoebe asked.

"Upstairs," said Piper. "He's working on the nursery for the baby. He says there's a lot of work that needs to be done. He wants everything perfect when little whatever-her-name-is-going-to-be is born."

"Still haven't decided on a name?" asked Phoebe.

"Not yet," said Piper. "I'm thinking it should be something that starts with P. Just to keep the tradition going. But there are so many good names. It's really hard to decide."

"You'll come up with something I'm sure," said Paige. "You know, Paige is a very good name for a baby?"

"And would make thinks very confusing around here," said Piper. "Don't worry. I'm sure I'll come up with something by the time the baby gets here."

"Hey, what's this?" Phoebe asked, picking up some folded papers sitting in the middle of the table.

"I don't know," said Piper. "It wasn't there a little bit ago. Maybe Wyatt is playing games again."

"I don't think so," said Paige, looking over Phoebe's shoulder at the papers. "They say 'Other World Summons' on them."

"What?" Piper shrieked, snatching the papers out of Phoebe's hand. "We're being summoned to the Other World Court again? What did we do this time?"

"Leo," Phoebe called into the air. "Can you come down here for a minute?"

A few moments later Leo came into the kitchen.

"Hey, Phoebe, Paige," he said. "I didn't know you two were home yet."

"Leo," said Piper, holding the papers out for him to see, "we got a summons from the Other World Court. Can you make any sense of what it says?"

Leo took the papers from Piper. He carefully read them over with a perplexed look on his face.

"Well?" Piper demanded. "What are they claiming we did wrong this time?"

"Nothing," said Leo. "Apparently you're being summoned as court appointed attorneys for a mortal who's on trial in the Other World Court system. It seems the defendant specifically requested the three of you defend him."

"Court appointed attorney's?" Phoebe questioned. "We aren't lawyers."

"I know," said Leo. "But in the Other World Court system a defendant can request any magical being to be their defense counsel. When that happens the court appoints them to act as the advocate for the defense."

"Defense counsel?" Paige asked. "For what?"

"It doesn't say," said Leo. "Only that you were specifically requested and that the prosecution agreed to the appointment. So the judge has appointed you as the advocates for the defense."

"What can they do to us if we don't answer this summons?" Piper asked.

"To you?" Leo asked. "Nothing really. You're under no obligation to accept since you reside primarily on the mortal realm. The judge could find you in contempt but there's really no way for him to enforce any penalties against you."

"Problem solved," said Piper. "We'll just ignore it. Let them find someone else to play their little games."

"I said they couldn't do anything to you," said Leo. "However, if you don't show up, the judge will probably enter a summary judgment against the defendant. He'll be found guilty on all charges and whatever penalties apply will be implemented immediately."

"So?" questioned Paige. "If some magical being is on trial, that's not our problem."

"Except that you are specifically charged with protecting the innocent," said Leo. "And the only reason you would even be considered as advocates for the defense was if the defendant were an innocent."

"You mean a mortal is on trial in the other world court?" Phoebe asked.

"Exactly," said Leo. "And if you refuse to answer the summons you'll be abandoning them to whatever fate the court has in store for them. And I'm guessing whatever it is isn't going to be good."

"Great," said Piper, pulling off her apron and throwing it in the middle of the table. "Okay, looks like we have to protect another innocent. Leo, how do we get to this court?"

"Just agree to take the case and you'll be taken there immediately," said Leo.

"Okay," said Piper. "Meet us down there as soon as you can. The sooner we find out what this is about the sooner this foolishness will be over."

Leo managed a weak smile. As he orbed out of the manor the magic of the summons transported the sisters to the Other World Court.

[NoAzMale]

TWO

"So let me get this straight," said Piper as the girls talked with the clerk of the Other World Court, "you're telling us that a mortal is on trial for his life because his eight-year-old daughter had a temper tantrum and wished he were dead?"

"That's about the size of it," said the demoness clerk. "Apparently an over zealous Vengeance Demon heard the wish and granted the little girl's wish."

"Vengeance Demon?" Phoebe asked.

"They're demons that visit retribution on males who have scorned women," said the demoness.

"This is crazy," said Phoebe. "The girl is only eight-years-old. Every kid at one time or another has said they wished their parents were dead. They loose their temper and say things they don't mean."

"Which is exactly what the defendant is alleging," said the demoness. "His claim is that his daughter didn't really mean what she said and that the Vengeance Demon went too far in granting the wish.

"In all honesty, nothing like this has ever happened with a Vengeance Demon before. Normally they confine themselves to women who have a grievance against their boyfriends, husbands, lovers, whatever. If they get angry enough they wish something terrible on him and if they are sincere, the Vengeance Demon can then grant them their wish."

"But this isn't anything like that," said Piper. "It's an eight-year-old girl who lost her temper with her father. Not exactly a new occurrence among human children."

"Which is why a hearing has been ordered before the wish can be granted," said the demoness. "It will be your job to convince the judge that the child in question didn't really want her father dead. That it was just a fit of anger and nothing more."

"So why us?" Paige asked. "We were told that we were specifically requested as advocates for the defense. Who requested us?"

"The defendant," said the demoness. "He was informed that he could have any magical being as his defense counsel. Since you three are specifically charged with protecting the innocent, he felt you were his best option. Piper Halliwell is listed as the primary attorney of record. Phoebe Halliwell and Paige Matthews are listed as associate attorneys of record."

She handed each of the sisters an identification badge.

"Wear these," said the demoness. "They will identify you as officers of the court. Your client is waiting for you in the holding area. Just go through those doors at the end of the hallway and you'll be taken immediately to him.

"This is certainly strange," said Piper as they walked through the doors at the end of the hall. "Every other time we've been here it's been nothing more than the skeleton of real rooms. This actually looks like we're in a real courthouse."

"That's because there's a mortal involved," said Leo waiting for them just inside the doors. "They want him to feel as comfortable as possible since he's not used to magic."

"Glad you could make it," said Piper, looking at the badge Leo was wearing. "Research assistant?"

"Yeah," said Leo. "Normally an innocent wouldn't be allowed on the defense team. But since I was a White Lighter and an Elder they decided to bend the rules a bit. As a research assistant I can help you prepare your clients' defense."

"Any idea who our client is?" Phoebe asked. "They didn't tell us in the clerks' office."

"No, no idea," said Leo. "He's right down the hallway in the last room on the left."

"So, did they tell you what our case is?" Paige asked.

"Yes, they filled me in," said Leo. "Personally, I think it's ridiculous. Every kid has said things like that to their parents at one time or another. It's part of growing up."

"That's what we said," said Phoebe.

"Any idea what kind of strategy you're going to use?" Leo asked.

"Strategy?" Piper asked. "We have to have strategy?"

"Of course you do," said Leo.

"Let's find out who our client is first," said Paige. "I remember hearing from some of the lawyers when I worked at Social Services that the type of defense can often depend on the defendant. Once we know what type of person he is we should be able to come up with something workable."

"Good idea," said Phoebe. "Whomever this mortal is we need to know if he's worth defending. He might be a sleaze bag."

"I'm sure he's not that bad," said Leo. "Part of the reason there's going to be a hearing is because his little girl has recanted her wish. That's what part of the confusion is. If he were too bad his daughter probably wouldn't have recanted."

"Well, here we are," said Piper when they reached the last room on the left. "Let's try to make him feel as comfortable as possible. This has all got to be pretty overwhelming for him. Not to mention confusing."

"We'll be on our best behavior," said Phoebe. "It might be a bit difficult trying to explain the magical world to him. He probably has no concept that magic even exists. It might be a bit much for him to take in."

"We'll just have to do the best we can," said Paige.

"Well, might as well get this started," said Piper. "The sooner we get this over with the sooner we can get back home."

Leo opened the door for the girls and they all filed into the room. They were all ready to be inundated with questions. Instead they stood inside the door staring at the single individual that sat in the small room. Piper, Phoebe, and Leo were nearly stunned at the man who was on trial for his life.

As they stared at the man, Dan Gordon stood up and turned to face them.

[NoAzMale]

THREE

"Dan?" Piper questioned. "You're the mortal who's on trial?"

"Piper, thank goodness you came," said Dan. "They said if you didn't agree to defend me I'd be found guilty immediately."

"Dan, this is our other sister, Paige," said Phoebe. "But I'm a bit confused. You have an eight-year-old daughter? You never mentioned having any kids when you and Piper were dating."

"I didn't have any," said Dan. "She's my step-daughter. After Piper and I broke up I moved back home. I got back together with an old girlfriend and we ended up getting married. She had Ellen from her first marriage and I adopted her a couple of years after we were married."

"Okay, that explains things," said Piper. "Especially why you requested us as your defense counsels."

"When they told me who you really were I knew you were the perfect choices," said Dan. "The prosecution contends I'm such a terrible father that's why Ellen wanted me dead. Piper, you of all people should know I'm not like that."

"I know, Dan," said Piper. "This whole case is ridiculous. To think that what some child said in anger is taken seriously. It just doesn't make any sense."

"Don't worry, Dan," said Phoebe. "We're going to do everything we can to get you off. It shouldn't be too difficult to convince the judge that what your step-daughter said was said in anger and that she wasn't serious."

"That may not be easy," said Leo. "Everyone else in the court will be bureaucracy demons, including the judge. He's all ready inclined to rule against Dan simply because he's human. You're going to have to work hard to convince him Dan's innocent."

"Oh, that's just great," said Paige. "More bureaucracy demons. Man, I'm really beginning to hate those guys.

"You and me, too," said Piper. "How soon before the trial begins?"

"Just a few minutes," said Leo.

"That soon?" questioned Phoebe. "Don't we get the chance to prepare or anything?"

"Remember what your advocate said when Piper was on trial for inadvertently killing an innocent?" Leo asked.

"I sure do," said Paige. "He said they were only interested in the truth. And the truth doesn't need any preparation."

"I wish he were here now," said Piper. "We could really use his help."

"It wouldn't do any good," said Leo. "He's a criminal attorney. This is a civil case."

"A civil case with a death penalty?" Paige questioned.

"Different realm, different rules," said Leo. "Just do the best you can. I have faith in you."

"So do I," said Dan. "If anyone can get me off it's the Charmed Ones. I hear you're legendary in the magical world."

"I guess we are," said Piper. "Well, I'm not sure what good we can do but we'll do the best we can, I promise. We'll do everything we can."

"I know you will," said Dan. "Like Leo said, we have faith in you."

"Ms. Halliwell?" said a guard sticking his head in the door. "The court is ready for you. Go back up the hallway to the first door on your right."

"Okay, thanks," said Piper. "Well, here goes nothing."

"The court will come to order," said the bailiff. "The dishonorable T. P. Conciliator presiding. All rise."

It appeared to be any courtroom on the mortal realm. The judge sat at a raised bench in the front of the courtroom. The prosecution sat to one side and the defense sat on the other. Behind them was the spectators' gallery that appeared to be full. Apparently this was to be heard only by the judge. There was no jury present.

Everyone in the room looked human. As Leo had explained this was to make the mortal defendant feel more at ease. The judge wore the familiar black robe of any normal judge on the mortal plane. He took his seat at the bench and began to look through some papers in front of him.

"Be seated," announced the judge. Everyone sat down. "Court is now in session. We are here to hear the matter of Ellen Gordon versus Daniel Gordon. Is the prosecution ready?"

"Ready, Your Honor," said the Prosecutor. "Luscious P. Proctor for the prosecution."

"And the defense?" questioned the judge.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," said Piper. "Piper Halliwell for the defense, your honor."

"Good," said the judge. "Now, the matter seems simple enough. A Vengeance Demon apparently granted the wish of a young girl that her father was dead. According to the complaint, the defendant claims that the girls' wish was unfounded. The prosecution contends that the wish was not only legitimate but justified. Mr. Proctor, you may present your case."

"Thank you, Your Honor," said Proctor. "Approximately two days ago, human time, Miss Ellen Gordon and her father, Daniel, were having a heated argument. During this argument, Miss Gordon said that she hated her father and wished he were dead. The aforementioned Vengeance Demon heard the girls' wish and granted it."

"Objection," said Piper. "That's, uh, what is it, hearsay, Your Honor. Unless Mr. Proctor is claiming to have been present during the argument."

"Overruled," said the judge. "Miss Halliwell, this is not testimony. Mr. Proctor is simply stating the specifics of the case. So far what he's said is undisputed. Hearsay is when one person relates what they allegedly heard someone else say."

"Oh, okay," said Piper. "I'm sorry, Your Honor."

"Perfectly all right," said the judge. "Mr. Proctor, you may continue."

"Thank you, your honor," said Proctor. "The prosecution contends that since the wish was legally made the Vengeance Demon was perfectly within her rights to grant the wish."

"Your Honor," said Paige, "can I object?"

"You are associate advocate for the defense," said Conciliator. "You're allowed to object whenever you wish."

"Then I object," said Paige.

"On what grounds?" the prosecutor demanded.

"She's eight-years-old, for crying out loud," said Paige. "Kids that age say a lot of things in the heat of anger they don't really mean."

"With all due respect," said Proctor, "virtually all such wishes are made in anger. It does not minimize the legitimacy of the wish."

"Agreed," said the judge. "Objection overruled."

Paige glanced at the prosecutor. He was smiling slightly. It didn't take a genius to know that they weren't doing well. The sisters and Leo looked at Dan and at each other knowing they were all ready loosing. Suddenly the bailiff handed some type of form to the judge. He looked it over for a moment.

"We will take a very short recess," he said. "Everyone sit tight. I'll be right back."

Not knowing what else to do everyone sat in their chairs while the judge went back into his chambers.

[Angie]

I like your take on this, especially having them defend a dad over the daughter spouting off a bit...words she will probably regret later...but still a tantrum! lol! Very interesting! Very good writing and I'm curious as to where this is going to go...I also think it's cool that Dan has adopted his step child as his own! Very cool!! Great beginning!

[NoAzMale]

FOUR

"Court is back in session," said the judge a few minutes later after returning from his chambers. "The court seems to have a motion in front of it that directly involves this case."

"What type of motion, Your Honor?" asked Proctor.

"A motion to substitute counsel," said the judge.

"Which counsel, Your Honor?" Piper asked.

"You, apparently," said the judge. "According to the motion an attorney has moved that you be removed as attorneys' of record and he be substituted in your place."

"Which attorney, Your Honor?" asked Proctor.

"One Cole Turner," said the judge. "I assume Mr. Turner is in the courtroom."

"I am, Your Honor," said Cole rising from the back of the courtroom and walking up to the front. He was carrying a briefcase with him.

Leo and the girls simply stared at Cole as he stopped between the two tables. He smiled at them.

"Your Honor," said the prosecutor, "I'm familiar with Mr. Turner. However, it would be inappropriate to substitute counsel at this stage of the hearing. Especially since Mr. Turner is no longer an attorney."

"With all due respect to learned counsel," said Cole, removing some papers from his briefcase and handing them to the bailiff, "I have sworn and notarized affidavits showing my membership in good standing with the California Bar Association as well as the Other World Bar Association. In addition, there are my credentials from the Other World Supreme Court stipulating that I am certified to practice law in all areas of criminal and civil law as specified by the Other World Legal Code.

"I'm also submitting precedents where counsel was substituted in several cases after the beginning of a trial. As well as rulings by the Other World Supreme Court stating that substituting counsel after the advent of a case is not necessarily prejudicial to that case. Your honor is well within his rights to substitute counsel even at this stage of the case."

Cole also handed duplicates of the documents to the prosecutor for his inspection.

"Mr. Turner seems to have forgotten something," said Proctor. "His affidavits notwithstanding, his credentials are not valid. Mr. Turner was vanquished by the advocates for the defense no less. And as any demon will tell you, once you've been vanquished all of your credentials are automatically rescinded. This allows their powers, position, and anything else associated with them to be passed on to another demon. It's well documented and not even Mr. Turner can dispute that."

"He's right, Mr. Turner," said Conciliator.

"Yes sir," said Cole. "However, this is based on the presumption that Cattarrin, the ruler of the Wasteland, informs the proper authorities that the Beast has absorbed the essences of vanquished demons. The Beast never absorbed my essence so Cattarrin would not have notified the authorities. This being the case, the proper documentation rescinding my credentials would not have been filed, thereby leaving my credentials intact."

"Mr. Turner has a point, Mr. Proctor," said the judge.

"One other point," said Proctor. "According to these documents, they've been issued to the demon Belthazor, not a human named Cole Turner. And Belthazor's vanquishing is a well-established fact, despite the lack of notification to the proper authorities. Cole Turner is not authorized to practice law in the Other World Realm. I submit that Mr. Turner does not possess the necessary credentials to substitute as counsel."

"It is also a well established fact," said Cole, "that Belthazor is my other ego, if you will. Now I will admit that a witch stripped Belthazor's powers from me. However, if Belthazor had been vanquished, as the prosecutor suggests, I would also have been vanquished. Since I am obviously standing right here, I submit that Belthazor was not vanquished but merely had his power stripped. And simply because I now go by the name Cole Turner instead of Belthazor, the documentation does apply to me."

"Accurate as always," said the judge. "Mr. Proctor, I must agree with Mr. Turner. What a person, or demon, calls themselves is irrelevant. However, Mr. Turner, since the documentation is issued to the demon Belthazor and not a human name Cole Turner, I will insist on referring to you by that name. For legal purposes."

"Understood, Your Honor," said Cole.

"Very well," said Proctor. "However, His Honor cannot substitute counsel at this point of the hearing without specific cause. Belthazor has offered no such cause."

"Check and mate, Belthazor," said the judge. "You are as aware of those causes as we are. You have offered me no legitimate reason to substitute you as counsel."

"I understand, Your Honor," said Cole, removing another paper from his briefcase. "I was prepared for this ruling. I would therefore request that I be added to the defense team as assistant counsel for the defense."

"You know an assistant counsel can't argue a case," said Proctor. "Only the attorney's of record are allowed to do that."

"Yes, I'm aware of it," said Cole. "But I can help in the defense."

"Mr. Proctor," asked the judge, "do you have any objection to Belthazor acting as assistant counsel for the defense?"

"No objection, Your Honor," said Proctor. "As long as he doesn't try to argue the case. That's the job of the attorney's of record."

"As I said," said Cole, "I know the role of an assistant counsel."

"Then no objection, Your Honor," said Proctor.

"Very well," said Conciliator. "Let the record show that Belthazor is hereby appointed assistant counsel for the defense."

"May I have a few minutes to confer with my co-counsel?" Cole asked.

"Very few minutes," said Conciliator.

Cole hurried over to Piper and the others. He whispered to them so that no one else in the courtroom could hear them.

"Piper," said Cole, "request a sidebar."

"A what?" Piper asked.

"A sidebar," said Cole. "As attorney of record you're the only one who can. Then we'll all go up to the judge so we can discuss something off the record."

"Discuss what?" Phoebe asked. "You're planning something. I can tell."

"No time to explain," said Cole. "Just request a sidebar now."

"Your Honor," said Piper, looking confused at Cole, "the defense would like to request a sidebar."

"Counsels approach," said the judge.

They all walked up to the bench followed by the prosecutor.

"What is it, Ms. Halliwell?" asked the judge.

"Well, I," began Piper.

"Your Honor," said Cole, "as an officer of the court it is my duty to inform you that any further proceedings in this hearing will be grounds for immediate appeal with the very real possibility that any rulings you make could be overturned."

"Based on what?" Proctor demanded to know.

"Defense counsel incompetence," said Cole, glancing at Leo and the sisters who simply stared at him in utter surprise.

"In my chambers, now," demanded the judge, more than a bit irate. "Court is in recess."

[Angie]

: Oh this is getting good! Very funny moments...I am curious where this is going to go...

[NoAzMale]

FIVE

"Belthazor," demanded the judge when they had gone to his chambers, "you had better have a damn good reason for the statement you made out there. If you don't I'm going to find you in contempt and hit you with sanctions. And as you know those can be quite unpleasant."

"What the hell do you mean we're incompetent?" demanded Piper.

"Please, Ms. Halliwell, I'll handle this," said the judge, folding his arms across his chest. "Well, Belthazor? You'd better make this good."

"Simply what I said," said Cole. "The advocates for the defense are not competent to represent the defendant."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Phoebe asked.

"Phoebe, Piper," said Cole, "it's not as bad as it sounds. It's just legal terminology. Something you would understand better if you were licensed attorneys."

"What are you talking about?" Proctor asked.

"None of the sisters are licensed to practice law," said Cole. "Either here or in the mortal realm. In fact, none of them even has any legal training. Which means they are not competent to try this case. A fact the judge is aware is grounds for immediate appeal of any decision he makes."

"You're right about that," said the judge. He turned to the sisters. "Well? Is it true? None of you are licensed attorneys?"

"We didn't know we had to be," said Piper. "We were simply told that Dan had requested us and that we more or less had no choice but to defend him."

"Which also includes that you be licensed by the Other World Bar before you can represent someone," said the judge. "Now, there are no requirements that you have any type of formal legal training to be certified by the bar. But you are required to be request certification which is appears you haven't done."

"Why didn't you say something about this before?" Proctor demanded of Cole. "You should have brought it up when you requested to be substituted as the attorney of record. As an officer of the court..."

"I wasn't an officer of the court at that point," said Cole. "Luscious, you're aware that unless I'm actively involved in a case I am not an officer of the court, unlike the human system of jurisprudence. Until the judge appointed me assistant counsel I was just another member of the spectators' gallery. With no obligation whatsoever to divulge anything I knew."

"He's got you there, Luscious," said the judge.

"And since none of the sisters are competent to practice law," continued Cole, "or are certified to do so, Your Honor has no choice but to remove them as the attorney's of record. If you don't, the defendant can move for an immediate appeal, which you know he'll be granted."

"Right again," said the judge. "And as assistant counsel for the defense, if I remove the attorney's of record, by law you have to assume that position."

"I do believe you're right," said Cole, smiling at Proctor.

"That's why you had yourself appointed assistant attorney," said Proctor. "You knew as soon as you brought this to the judges' attention he could appoint anyone he wants to be advocate for the defense. You deliberately withheld the information until you were appointed assistant attorney so that he would have no choice but to substitute you as the attorney of record."

"I seem to have been found out," said Cole, smiling again at Proctor.

"Your Honor," said Proctor, "you can't be seriously considering this? You see what he's doing as well as I do. He couldn't get you to substitute him outright so he's trying to do an end run around the law."

"And done an admirable job of it, too," said the judge. "Everything he's done has been within the law. And you know my hands are tied. I don't have a choice. I have to remove the Charmed Ones as the attorneys of record and substitute Belthazor in their place. I must say, Belthazor, I am impressed."

"Thank you, Your Honor," said Cole.

"Gloat all you want," said Proctor. "When this case is finished let's see how well you like it when I charge these three with practicing law without a license. Saying they didn't know is not a defense and you know it. And I'm going to go for the max."

"In which case you'd better indict yourself and the judge as well," said Cole.

"What do you mean?" asked Proctor.

"The judge appointed them as advocates for the defense," said Cole. "And you agreed to it. Which, under the law, would make you both co-conspirators to the charges. And as you said, saying you didn't know they weren't licensed to practice law won't be a defense for either of you.

"I'm pretty sure they won't be too hard on the judge. After all, it is the prosecutions responsibility to check the credentials of any visiting attorneys. Something you obviously neglected to do before this case began."

"Luscious," said the judge, "under the circumstances, I think we'd better just chalk this one up to experience. It seems Belthazor is as crafty as I've heard."

"Okay," said Proctor angrily. "I won't press charges on them. But I don't like it one bit."

"We'd better get back out there," said the judge. "Everyone will be wondering what we're up to in here."

"Self-preservation is such a great motivator," Cole whispered to Piper, smiling.

Once they had reassembled back in the courtroom, the judge turned to the court stenographer.

"Let the record reflect," the judge said, "that co-counsels for the defense are hereby removed as the attorneys of record. I'll submit the reasoning for the removal later. Let the record also reflect that Belthazor, the assistant counsel for the defense, is now the attorney of record in this case. Mr. Proctor, you may continue with your case."

"Thank you, Your Honor," said Proctor. "The prosecution calls the Vengeance Demon, Iltaka."

A young woman came into the courtroom and took a seat in the witness stand. She looked like any other young woman one might see on the street on any given day.

"Iltaka," said Proctor. "Will you tell the court about the incident in question."

"Well," said the demon, "I happened across this little girl who was fighting with her father. I heard her say she hated him and wished he were dead. I could tell she was really angry with him. So I did what I've done for nearly eight hundred years. I granted her wish."

"Isn't this a little outside the normal scope of your duties?" asked Proctor.

"Maybe a little," said Iltaka. "But she is a female. And she was scorned, of sorts, by a man. I just did what I was created for. To punish men for the way they treat women. As I said, I've been doing it for eight hundred years."

"Would it be fair," asked Proctor, "to characterize the situation as being extreme but still within the purview of your responsibilities?"

"Sure," said Iltaka. "My responsibility is to grant the wishes of females to punish men who mistreat them. Now, this is usually interpreted to mean a woman who's been mistreated by her husband, boyfriend, lover, or whatever. But it says females who have been unjustly mistreated by a man. It might be stretching it a bit, but still within my rights."

"And how did your superiors feel about what you did?" Proctor asked.

"Well," said Iltaka, "they said pretty much the same thing you did. That it seemed to be pushing it a bit. But they agreed I was well within my rights to do it."

"So you weren't punished for what you did?" asked Proctor. "In fact, you might characterize your superiors actions as condoning what you did."

"Yes, that would be accurate," said Iltaka.

"Thank you," said Proctor. "No further question."

"Belthazor," said the judge looking at Cole. "You may cross-examine."

"I have no questions of this witness at this time, Your Honor," said Cole. "But I reserve the right to recall the witness at a later time."

"The witness is excused," said the judge.

"What's going on?" Dan whispered to Piper. "First, you tell me my life is in the hands of this demon. And now he just sits there while that she-demon buries me."

"Relax," said Piper. "I'm sure Cole knows what he's doing."

Cole just smiled at them. Piper was not as confident as she sounded to Dan.

[NoAzMale]

SIX

"The prosecution calls Ellen Gordon," said Proctor.

A young girl with blonde hair walked up and took the stand. She seemed a bit intimidated by all the adults in the room. As she walked through the room to the witness stand there were gasps and many members of the spectator gallery actually turned away from the little girl.

"What's wrong with them?" Dan whispered to Cole.

"Innocence," said Cole. "The innocence of a child can be very distasteful to many demons, even bureaucracy demons. It's possible that some of them are going to be ill later on."

"Miss Gordon," said the prosecutor, "Do you know why you're here?"

"Because of what I said about daddy," said the little girl.

"Yes," said the prosecutor smiling at the girl. "Do you remember what you said to your daddy?"

"I said I hated him," said Ellen. "He wouldn't let me stay up late. I wanted to see a movie on television but he said no."

"And did you say you wished he was dead?" asked Proctor.

"Objection," said Cole. "Leading the witness."

"Your Honor," said Proctor, "the witness is eight years old. The intricacies of these proceedings may be a bit much for her. I ask for a little latitude."

"Very little, Mr. Proctor," said the judge. "Objection overruled."

"Ellen," said Proctor, "did you say you wish your daddy was dead?"

"Yes, I guess so," said Ellen. "I was really mad. It wasn't fair."

"Did you mean it when you said you wished he was dead?" asked Proctor.

"Objection," said Cole. "The prosecutor is asking the witness her motivation when she was obviously distraught. Her state of mind is questionable at best."

"The witnesses' state of mind is the very crux of our case," said Proctor. "It is the reason we are having this hearing in the first place. It is also the major factor Vengeance Demons use to grant wishes."

"Objection overruled," said the judge.

"Things aren't going well, are they?" Dan asked Cole.

"Relax," said Cole. "This is only the first half. When he's done we get our chance."

"Ellen, will you answer the question, please?" Proctor asked.

"Well," said Ellen, "yeah, I guess I did. Like I said I was really mad."

"No further questions, Your Honor," said Proctor, smiling coyly at Cole.

"Belthazor, your witness," said the judge.

"Thank you, Your Honor," said Cole. "Ellen, I know this is kind of overwhelming for you. I'll try to make this as easy as I can."

"Okay," said Ellen.

"Now, Ellen," said Cole, "are you sure you really meant it when you said you wished your daddy was dead?"

"I don't know," said Ellen. "I really wanted to watch that movie."

"Have you ever said anything in anger before but really didn't mean it?" Cole asked.

"Objection," said Proctor. "The witnesses previous behavior is not the issue before this court."

"It goes to a pattern of behavior," said Cole. "And a person's pattern of behavior can affect their state of mind in any given situation. And that is the issue before this court."

"Objection overruled," said the judge.

"Ellen," said Cole. "Have you ever said anything in anger before but really didn't mean it?"

"Sometimes," said Ellen. "Sometimes I get so mad I say things just to hurt people. Daddy says I shouldn't do it and I try not to."

"I think we all do that sometimes, honey," said Cole. "Just one more question. Isn't it true that later you said you were sorry for what you said?"

"Objection," said Proctor. "Your Honor, Belthazor is quite aware that the issue before this court is the incident in question, not something that may or may not have happened subsequent to that event."

"The prosecutor has stated that the witnesses' state of mind is the issue before this court," said Cole. "This goes to that very state of mind."

"It also assumes facts not in evidence," said Proctor, "namely the inner workings of the Vengeance Demons."

"Objection sustained," said the judge. "Belthazor, please move on."

"No more questions, Your Honor," said Cole.

"The witness is excused," said the judge.

Ellen left the witness stand and cautiously made her way out of the courtroom.

"Your Honor," said Proctor, "the prosecution rests."

"Belthazor, are you prepared to proceed at this time?" asked the judge.

"I am, Your Honor," said Cole.

"Very well," said the judge. "Call your first witness."

"The defense recalls the Vengeance Demon, Iltaka, to the stand," said Cole.

The Vengeance Demon returned to the witness booth. The judge reminded her that she was still under oath.

"Iltaka," said Cole, "Previously you testified that your responsibility was to punish men for scorning women."

"Yes," said Iltaka. "I've been doing it for almost eight hundred years."

"As I understand it," said Cole, "when a woman normally makes one of these wishes they aren't granted immediately, is that correct?"

"Well, yes, that's the normal procedure," said Iltaka.

"Why is that?" Cole asked.

"Oh," said Iltaka, "that's, uh, it's to make sure that the wish is legitimate."

"I see," said Cole. "But you didn't wait the normal time frame, did you?"

"No, I didn't," said Iltaka.

"Why is that?" Cole asked.

"I could tell the wish was legitimate," said Iltaka. "The anger from the girl was intense. She was quite serious."

"Isn't it true," asked Cole, "that you normally wait a few hours before granting the wish to make sure the wisher means what they wish? That it's not just something said in anger?"

"Well, yes, that's true," said Iltaka.

"But you didn't wait, did you?" Cole asked. "You granted the wish immediately, didn't you?"

"Like I said," said Iltaka, "I could tell the wish was legitimate."

"How do you know if a wish is legitimate?" Cole asked.

"Vengeance Demons have the ability to read their 'employers' emotions," said Iltaka. "If, after the specified period of time, the 'employer' still feels the same way it's considered a legitimate wish. In some instances the emotions are so intense they legitimize the wish instantly."

"Can you read their emotions even when you aren't around them?" Cole asked.

"Sure," said Iltaka. "There's a sort of psychic link established with the wish. It helps me to decide the best way to grant the wish."

"Isn't it true that Ellen Gordon expressed remorse later at what she had said?" Cole asked.

"Objection," Proctor said. "The witness was in no position to testify about what someone else did or did not say when she wasn't present."

"Except," said Cole, "that she just testified that there's a psychic link established that allows her read her 'employers' emotions. She wouldn't necessarily have to be present to know if Ellen had changed her mind."

"Objection overruled," said the judge. "The witness will answer the question."

"Iltaka?" Cole questioned.

"Well, yeah, she did," said Iltaka. "But she's a kid. As I said earlier, my superiors said I was perfectly within my rights to grant the wish."

"So you said," said Cole. "No further questions."

"Mr. Proctor," said the judge.

"Iltaka, just one question," said Proctor. "Under the guidelines of the Vengeance Demons, was the granting of Ellen Gordon's wish considered legitimate?"

"Yes, it was," said Iltaka.

"No further questions," Proctor said.

"The witness is excused," said the judge.

Iltaka left the witness stand and once again exited the courtroom.

[NoAzMale]

SEVEN

"Your Honor," said Cole, "the defense moves for an immediate dismissal of all charges. Based on the testimony of the Vengeance Demon we submit that she acted precipitously and with undue haste. Since Ellen Gordon recanted her desire that her father was dead the wish she made must be construed as not being a legitimate wish."

"Also as testified by the Vengeance Demon," said Proctor, "the Vengeance Demons' superiors considered the wish legitimate."

"Except that demonic law overrides the rules and regulations of any demonic department," said Cole. "Just as in the mortal realm where state law overrides city ordinance. Demonic law states that wishes can only be granted with the expressed permission of a competent, cognizant mortal. Otherwise anyone who makes a wish would be subject to having that wish granted even if the person were clinical insane."

"And the person in question is a competent, cognizant mortal," said Proctor.

"She's eight-years-old," said Cole. "Mortals at that age are given to fits of irrationality. They constantly say things that any reasonable person would consider to be absurd. It's one of the reasons that mortal children even at that age need constant supervision. The fact that she recanted her wish shows that she realized it was an irrational desire. Made in the heat of anger."

"I will remind my learned opponent," said Proctor, "that we have no direct evidence that Ellen Gordon recanted her wish. We have only the word of the Vengeance Demon who may have misinterpreted the girls' state of mind."

"So you're saying," said Cole, "that the Vengeance Demon simply misread Ellen's desire to recant the wish?"

"Precisely," Proctor said.

"In which case I would submit that Iltaka may have misinterpreted Ellen's initial desire that her father was dead," said Cole.

"Iltaka is an experienced Vengeance Demon with a distinguished eight-hundred-year career of granting women wishes to punish their mates," said Proctor. "I seriously doubt she would have 'misinterpreted' a females desire to punish someone."

"So she accurately read Ellen's desire that her father would die," asked Cole, "but misread her desire to recant that wish? That doesn't sound like the efficient Vengeance Demon you just described, counselor."

"Gentlemen, please," said Conciliator, "address your comments to the court, not each other."

"My apologies, Your Honor," said Cole. "The prosecution would have us believe that Iltaka is perfectly competent to read a woman's desire but not be able to read a change in that desire. The Vengeance Demon cannot be both an extremely competent demon and an incompetent demon incapable of distinguishing between a genuine wish and a fit of anger."

"Mr. Proctor," said the judge. "Counsel for the defense has a point. Get off the fence, Mr. Prosecutor. You have to decide which your witness is."

"Well, Your Honor," said Proctor, glancing at Cole, "the prosecution contends that the Vengeance Demon is a competent demon in her field. But that does not negate the fact that we have no direct evidence that Ellen Gordon actually recanted her wish."

"Then I will simply recall Miss Gordon to the stand and ask her," said Cole. "That will clear up the matter quite nicely."

"Your Honor," said Proctor, "I think it would be a great dishonor to subject this court to any further goodness this child represents. As Your Honor himself witnessed, many of the spectators became physically ill when the child initially entered the courtroom. We shouldn't have to be subjected to such an outburst again."

"Which, I'm sure Your Honor is aware," said Cole, "cannot be a deciding factor during this hearing. We are not here for the convenience or comfort of any spectators that may voluntarily choose to witness these proceedings. We're here to make a determination whether the wish granted was a legitimate wish."

"He's right, Mr. Proctor," said the judge. "As distasteful as it may be he does have the right to recall Ms. Gordon if he chooses."

"Your Honor," said Proctor, "Miss Gordon is a young, human child. As Belthazor said to her this must be very overwhelming to her. I would submit that it is confusing for many adults. It must be even more so for a young child. I'm not sure her testimony could be considered valid. I'm sure her memories of the event are quite jumbled and she simply would not be a credible witness considering the remorse that many humans feel even for events they have no control over."

"Is the prosecution suggesting," Cole asked, "that the girl was competent to make the wish but is now not competent to discuss whether she recanted on that wish? Your Honor, I believe we've all ready addressed this issue with reference to the Vengeance Demon. It would be like calling an expert witness then claiming that witness is not competent to testify. The witness is either competent or she isn't. The prosecution can't have it both ways."

"He's right, Mr. Proctor," said the judge. "Which is it? Is the witness competent or is she not competent?"

"Considering the child's age," said the prosecutor reluctantly, "I would have to say that her testimony would be considered less than credible at best."

"In which case, Your Honor," said Cole, "I would move that her entire testimony be stricken from the record. If she is not a credible witness, as the prosecution has just stipulated to, Your Honor cannot give any authority to her testimony."

"The entire testimony is ordered stricken from the record," said the judge.

"I would, therefore, again move that all charges against the defendant be dismissed," said Cole. "The prosecutions' entire case is left hanging on the testimony of the Vengeance Demon in question. Testimony that admits that Miss Gordon actually recanted her desire that her father was dead. A fact that Iltaka has admitted invalidates any wish the girl made in the first place. Despite whatever other evidence the prosecution has presented or may try to present in the future, Iltakas' own testimony shows that it was not a valid wish and should never have been granted in the first place."

Cole waited for the judges ruling. This would determine if he had been able to overcome the natural prejudice that most demons held against humans. A prejudice the judge himself held since he was a demon himself. He knew that demonic judges were predisposed toward conviction of mortals that came into their court even before a case had begun regardless of the charges against them. Changing a judges' mind was not an easy task. Cole waited to see if he had been able to do just that.

[NoAzMale]

EIGHT

"Unless the prosecution has anything further he'd like to add," said the judge, looking at Proctor.

Proctor simply shook his head no.

"In that case," said the judge, "it is the finding of this court that the wish made by Ellen Gordon that her father was dead to be invalid. While the child in question may have made the wish, it is quite evident that the Vengeance Demon who granted the wish was a bit over zealous in granting that wish. Therefore, the wish is negated and the defendant will be allowed to return to his life, such as it was. Court is adjourned."

"What does that mean?" Dan asked.

"Tell me," said Cole. "What is the last thing you remember before you came here?"

"I was driving home from work," said Dan. "I suddenly lost control of the car and crashed into a tree. Apparently I was burned alive."

"Well," said Cole, "we won. Which means that when you return to the mortal realm you'll be placed back in your car just a few moments before the accident. The Vengeance Demon probably caused you to loose control of your car, causing the accident. That won't happen this time. Things will progress as they normally would have."

"We won?" Dan questioned, hardly believing what he was hearing.

"That's right," said Cole. "You'll be able to go home to your family as if none of this ever happened."

"Thank you," said Dan, aggressively shaking Coles' hand. "Thank you so much. I don't know how I'll ever repay you for this. I'll never forget this."

He turned to Piper.

"It was good seeing you again," he said. He looked at Phoebe and Leo. "All of you. Thanks for everything. I guess now I can understand some of the weird things that used to happen when we were together."

"Yeah, well we couldn't tell you," said Piper. "It's against the rules. I'm just glad you're happy, Dan. And you have an adorable little girl. You're a very lucky man."

"I know," said Dan. "So, what do I do now?"

"Nothing," said Cole. "You should be returned to the mortal realm just about..."

Before Cole could finish his sentence, Dan suddenly vanished from the courtroom.

"Now," Cole finished as they all watched Dan disappear.

"Well, looks like we owe you one," Piper said to Cole.

"What I don't understand," Phoebe said, "is how you knew this was going on in the first place."

"I'm still an attorney in the underworld," said Cole. "As I explained to the judge, my credentials are still intact. And like all attorneys in the underworld, I get a docket of the cases being tried each day. When I saw your names as attorneys for the defense I knew you were in over your heads. So I decided it was best if I stepped in for you."

"Good call," said Leo. "Until you did we were loosing badly."

"That's because you have no legal training," said Cole. "That's what I meant when I said you were incompetent in the judges' chambers. It doesn't mean you stupid or anything. It simply means you don't have the necessary training or experience to try a case."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that part out," said Piper.

"So, what do we do now?" Paige asked.

"You go home," said Cole. "Just like Dan. You go on with your lives as if none of this ever happened."

"Until the next time we're called to defend someone," said Piper, disgust in her voice.

"That won't happen," said Cole. "It's now a matter of public record that you aren't certified to practice law in the underworld. A judge can't appoint you again until, and unless, you request certification. Which I'm betting it not likely to happen any time soon."

"Good," said Phoebe. "Maybe we should call Dan when we get home. He might have some questions about all this."

"No, he won't," said Cole. "Unlike you, he's mortal. He won't be allowed to remember anything that happened here. Any memory of this will be wiped from his mind when he returns to the mortal realm. Part of the protecting magic thing."

"I'm glad to hear that," said Piper.

"Well this is a new one even for us," said Phoebe.

"What is, honey?" Paige asked.

"Belthazor, Attorney at Law," said Phoebe. "Protecting the rights of an innocent. Who would have thought?"

"Yeah, well not the best reputation for an attorney down here," said Cole. "But then, an attorney's job is to zealously defend his client no matter who that client may be."

"Well, despite whatever else you may or may not be," said Leo, "you proved you're a very good attorney. Changing the mind of the judge about a mortal isn't easy."

"Not the first time I've done it," said Cole. "Well, I really should be getting back to work. I still have a mortal law practice."

"Funny," said Paige as Cole shimmered out of the courtroom, "he didn't say anything about getting back together again. You think he's given up on that idea?"

"I don't know," said Phoebe. "But I'm beginning to wonder if maybe he really has changed."

The End

[Angie]

That was really good! I liked it, especially how it ended, with Phoebe believing he's changed...