Amends(AU,M/? and Others ADULT)CH1 11/25/05

[lissalou72]

Thank you JBehrsGurl for the first great banner!!!!


Thank you Amara for the wonderful banner!!!

Title: AMENDS
Authors: Believer2 & Mmcherron
Rating: MATURE/ADULT
Category: AU w/out Aliens
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended. I do not own anything worth suing for.
Summary: Maxwell Evans had exactly what he wanted - the perfect life. But then in one split second, it all came crashing down. He walked away from certain death and faced his life. Disheartened by what he sees, he embarks on a journey into his past wrongs to make amends. But can a man so selfish really change? Can he really make amends? And will he be able to redeem his soul?

Authors Note: We would like to thank both of our banner makers you are the best and we love our Banners. Thank you JBehrsGurl and Amara. I would also like to thank my wonderful co author Believer2 for the quick beta job and the great idea for this great fic…Thank you girl.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~Prologue~

Have you ever had a life altering moment? Something so big, so blatantly in your face, that it made you want to re-evaluate your total look on life? I did.

I’m sitting here in a small church filled with every type of flower I can imagine – it’s the perfect setting for something beautiful. Like a wedding or a baptism…I only wish that was the reason why I was here.

I have this heavy feeling of guilt that is slowly eating me up as I listen to “Amazing Grace” being sung by a choir of children. I fidget in my seat, hoping that no one recognizes me. I don’t know what I would do, how I would react or even how others would react to me. Would they cry? Would I cry? Would they hate me? Would they turn away from me, not able to look at me…like I do?

How is it that one perfectly normal day can turn into such a tragic moment in time? I was driving in my vintage Mercedes-Benz convertible, my baby, in the fast line when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I hear squealing tires, breaking glass, crunched up metal. In a split second, I only see a quick flash of the semi-truck tumbling fast coming at me, taking out 4 cars before it hit mine.


I was in and out of consciousness for days. It seems weird that I only got a broken kneecap from this whole accident when everyone else involved died. Two police detectives came to question me about the accident, but I couldn’t tell them anything helpful. They showed me pictures of the aftermath – car pieces all over the road, the semi-truck. Then they showed me a picture of my car - it looked like a rolled up piece of tin foil. I couldn’t believe that I came out of that car alive. I asked about the other drivers and I swore that I would have that semi driver fired. Maybe even start a lawsuit. That’s when they told me.

I happen to be the one and only survivor of the major pileup, even the driver of the semi-truck didn’t survive.

There are no words to describe the shock I felt. I stared at the policemen and nothing came out of my throat. They looked at me with pity in their eyes. Hours went by, the policemen left, nurses came and went, but I sat completely still, not able to think beyond the words ‘sole survivor’.

In was in the middle of the night when it finally hit – the guilt. The guilt crushed my chest, squeezed my lungs and left me gasping for air. ‘Sole survivor’ echoed in my mind and haunted my dreams so I hardly slept.

After being discharged from the hospital, I went to each and every one of the victims’ funerals. How could I not? I just didn’t think it was right to not go. I owed them something, but I don’t know what.

At the first funeral, I stared at the casket questioning, why me? What was it about me that made the big guy upstairs think that I’m worthy of being the only survivor? That I walk away with only a concussion and a broken kneecap while seven other people died? Died a horrible sudden death.

Each eulogy was like another stab at my conscious. They were so good, so giving, so loved! I prayed for forgiveness at each funeral- forgiveness for surviving when they didn’t. They didn’t deserve to die. It should have been me that died and someone else live. I haven’t done half the great things that they have, I haven’t given to the community, to others - nothing. Not like Amanda.

Amanda Cuttingham, whose funeral I was currently attending, was this amazing teacher that dedicated her whole life to teaching children. Not only did she teach at a school, but she volunteered her time on nights and weekends to help those kids that were having trouble with reading in an after-school program. I am surrounded by her grieving family and co-workers, her crying students and their parents. Why me and not her? She was so much more worthy.

I slowly walk the best I can with my cane towards her casket at the front of the church. I follow behind a crying co-worker and feel my eyes prickle, but I don’t cry. I place a red rose on top of her closed casket to pay my respects. I stood there for a few minutes with my head bowed. I had to let her know that I was sorry her life was cut short and wasn’t able to live another day to see her kids at school.

As I walk away from the casket, my eyes are caught by the row of people sitting in front of the church: Amanda’s parents, a sister, a brother-in-law, nieces and nephews, a fiancée. I look away with another guilty stab, but I can’t move. I lived while seven other more worthy people died.

It’s made me take a HUGE look at where I stand in this world and that’s when it hit me.

I know now that I have been given a second chance at life. Amanda, the other dead victims- their lives show me what I need to do with my second chance. The lives they lived make me see that life isn’t about fame, fortune, or sex. It’s about the people whose lives we affect for the better.

So far, my life has been very superficial and shallow. You see, I haven’t been a good person. Who am I kidding? In the hospital I didn’t even get one visitor. The reason? I’m cruel. And selfish. And greedy. I don’t even talk to my own family.

But now, I have to chance to fix that. To make a positive change towards the people in my life, and make amends to those I have wronged. To ask for forgiveness. And I have to start now, before it’s too late.

I limp out to my car to sit and write a list. As I write, there are lots of people that I think about and put on my list. Some, I know that I will need help finding after all this time – I put them last. I’ll start out with the easiest and work my way down to the hardest – the ones I hurt the most and in the worst way.

Looking at the list, I realize that I have lots of apologies to make and people to find. Who would have thought that I, Maxwell Evens, the owner of one of the best entertainment firms here in LA, would have a change of heart? That I would be asking for forgiveness?

As I start the car, I pray. Pray that the ones I’ve wronged in so many ways will be able to see that I, Maxwell Evens, repent and want to make amends…

TBC

[Ella1022]

This sounds interesting Lissa. I hope Max can make amends with all the people on his list.

[lissalou72]

A/N: Hi everyone Believer2 and I would like to thank all of you for the wonderful feedback I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you to the Lurkers too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 1

~Max POV~


When I pull up to my apartment building, I get this lonely cold chill. These past few weeks have been hard on me because I now know just how cruel I’ve been to others. I’ve had to face some hard truths about myself and it wasn’t pretty – how did it get like this?

Slowly, I limp past the doorman towards my apartment door. When I open it, the darkness and eerie silence remind me of just how alone I am. I have not one friend, not one person that will check in on me or that I can confide in.

Not bothering to turn on the lights, I walk over to my balcony which overlooks the city. From this view, everything seems so small, so distant, untouchable – just like me. I once loved this view, but now its just another reminder.

I open up the list that I made. It’s full of people I have wronged someway or another. It’s a pretty long list and I suddenly realize that I don’t know if I can do this alone. I need help. Looking at the list, my eyes fall on Carlissa Kracheron. I wonder what she’s doing.

Carlissa was my secretary for four years before I fired her for some minor infraction. Petty, I know. But what’s even worse was my motivation for doing it. Seven years ago when my firm was going through a rough patch financially, I had to think about saving money and cutting costs in order to keep things afloat. I fired Carlissa because she was about to become fully vested in the company and cost the company even more in the 401K company contributions.
She was an excellent and efficient assistant – in fact, she would be the perfect person to help me with the list. My current assistant would be needed in the office. I wonder if I could find Carlissa tomorrow.

I limp to my fridge to see what I can make for dinner. As soon as I get to my huge morbidly clean kitchen, I get this sad feeling that I really did ruin my life somehow. I just hope that it’s not too late for me to get someone to care about me and maybe have a family….maybe.

Shoot, I have nothing in here but that really doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m always working late or going out to eat. Sometimes, I end up at some random, nameless lady’s house to eat and other stuff…

I reach over and grab my take-out basket which has menus from all of my favorite restaurants that deliver. I think I’m in the mood for sushi and vegetable tempera, yeah, that sounds really good.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~Later That Night~

After eating and getting myself ready for bed, comes the hardest time of day. I get into my king sized bed ALONE. It never use to bother me that I had the bed all to myself, but since the accident, everything, including sleeping alone, feels different.

But what bothers me more than sleeping alone, is the dreams I get. It started the night I found out I was the only survivor of the five car pile up. In my dream, there’s these pair of eyes – huge and on the verge of tears. They keep staring at me, begging. They’re so full of pain and loneliness- it breaks my heart. When I awake, I feel dried tears.

I don’t know who they belong to, don’t know if they’re male or female, what color they are, past or present. But I do know if I ever saw them again I would remember. They had this wounded, soulful look to them. Maybe that’s how I got the idea of starting my list – to look for those eyes.

I grab the bottle of sleeping pills sitting next to my lamp and pop one in. I drink it down with the bottle of water, but don’t feel confident that I’ll be sleeping that much tonight.

I know we must be having a storm of some sort because I can hear the rain hitting the windows and the movement of the trees outside. I love the rain. The rain washes all the dirt off the streets and cars leaving behind traces of the dirt but giving a new start. In a sense, that’s what I’m attempting to do.

The accident opened my eyes – it let me see all the dirt and crap I’ve piled on through my selfish ways. Surviving when everyone else died was my wash off. I walked away from the accident, walked away from the dirt, to try and restart my life.

Suddenly, I feel dirty. I get out of bed and stumbled towards my balcony. If I can get washed from the rain, maybe I’ll feel better. Maybe I’ll be able to face everyone at work in a few hours, and maybe, I just might be able to find Carlissa and ask for forgiveness.

Rushing out the door, I failed to notice that I only had my boxers on, but I quickly remembered as the cold rain hits my bare body. I stare up into the sky feeling the rain pour over me and I beg. For the first time in my life, I beg. I beg whoever is in charge to help me, to give me strength to face the people I’ve hurt. And as I beg, the heavy guilt in my heart fades.

I drop down to my knees crying with relief. I can feel my heart starting to heal. It won’t completely heal until I’ve finished my list, but it’s a start. I feel my body start to shake because of the brisk air and rain. I go inside and take a hot shower before falling asleep.

I woke up feeling really good, almost happy, but mostly nervous. Today was the day. My first step. I took a deep breath outside of my office door and walked in with a smile on my face.

“Good morning, everyone.”

The office didn’t go completely silent -the phones are ringing and the copier is still running. Everyone else is stock still and staring at me. I think everyone is too shocked to say anything, or maybe I have something hanging out of my nose….shoot, I knew I forgot to check something. Maybe I wore my boxers on the outside of my pants? I quickly touch my pants…nope that’s not it.

I carefully walk towards the break room carrying a bag full of donuts and coffee, leaning heavily on my cane.

“I brought Krispy Kreme donuts for everyone this morning and some coffee, please enjoy.” Turning towards the shocked faces, I look for my assistant.

“Mary, could you please look up Carlissa’s information because I would like to talk to her. Oh, and make sure everyone is notified that we are having a Christmas party this year. Families will be invited, and let’s make it mandatory because I know everyone is going to want to show up for it.”

I walk into my office, ignoring the dropped jaws – the way they are staring at me is just a bit unnerving. I thought that my employees might be excited that I got them breakfast and told them about the party, but I think I scared them instead. This is going to be harder than I thought.

I hear a knock at the door and see Mary walking in.

“The information that you wanted, sir” I hear Mary squeak out. I notice Mary is slowing backing away from me.

“Mary, wait. What’s the matter? Did you not like the donuts or the party?”

“Umm, Mr. Evans, sir, you never talk to us. You never do anything nice for us, ever. This…you…yeah. We’re all a bit nervous about your odd and completely out of character behavior.”

“Oh. Was I really that bad?”

I see Mary blanch at the question and her fear of giving me the truthful answer. “Never mind, you just answered the question. Mary, I’m a changed man. Things are going to be a bit different around here. Thank you.”

Mary’s eyes widen and I don’t know what caused it – was it because I told her it was going to be different or because I thanked her? Geez – what kind of SOB was I?

I look at the paper work that Mary brought me and see that Carlissa now works at Chuckie Cheese down on Broadway. I look at my calendar and notice the meetings that I had to reschedule because of the accident. I call Mary to tell her to call in the senior associates into my office.

When the five men and women walk into my office I see them awkwardly standing by the door along side of Mary. I look over each one and they start to fidget. Hiding a smile, I start speaking.

“Just a few minutes ago, I told Mary, things are going to be different around here. And I mean it. Starting with you five. You five have been here almost fifteen years. I know that you’ve stayed because this firm is the prestigious entertainment law firm and of the very high profile clients we work for. You don’t stay out of loyalty or because you love your job – you stay because there is no other firm that is as good as this one.”

I notice all six people don’t meet my eyes and it makes me sad. These people could have been my friends, my colleagues, but instead, I treated them like lowly servants.

“Well, I’ve decided that it’s enough that you stay because this firm is the best. This firm wouldn’t be the best, if it wasn’t for you. You make this firm. So, effective immediately, you are all promoted to partner. Because that’s what you are, you are my partners in running this firm. The firm’s name will be changed to Evans and Partners. Mary, please send out a memo and get us all new business cards. Oh, and let’s get someone to change the name on the door – I’ll leave it to you to get the details done.”

Silence greeted me once again. I almost laugh at the stunned faces in front of me and it feels good.

“Mary, ask Miller from finance to pull up our revenue records for this year, a forecast for next years and then ask Felicia from human resources to give me a spreadsheet on everyone’s titles, salaries, and length of employment and come into my office.”

I think if Mary’s eyes keep getting any wider, they’ll pop out. I spend the rest of the morning arranging for promotions, salary increases and bonuses. I now have partners, a vice president of finance, director of human resources, and a senior executive assistant. I then send out a personal memo that I will be leaving all day to day operations to my newly promoted general manager while I concentrate on other company issues. As I leave the office to visit Carlissa, I chuckle at the office’s reaction to my memo and all the changes.

When I get to Chuckie Cheese, I scan the restaurant and don’t see her anywhere. I ask to speak to the manager and a 17 year old boy comes up to me and asks me what my problem is.

Funny. I want to tell him where he could stick it and get me the real manager, but then I look around and notice all the kiddie games. So I bite my tongue and ask him if Carlissa was working. I want to speak to her for a brief moment.

The kid laughs and points over my shoulder. I turn and see this huge looking mouse, but I see no Carlissa. Confused, I watch as the huge Mouse takes off its head and see Carlissa. Her new job is dressing up as huge ugly mouse for the kids. Boy what a job….

“Carlissa, hi how are you doing? Do you remember me?”

“Maxwell Evans. How can I forget the man that fired me for stealing a stapler? So, you here to shoot me down, laugh at my job, maybe knock me over while I walk around?”

“Ummm, I wanted to apologize to you. What I did was shitty and petty. We were going through a rough patch and I was looking for ways to cut costs. You just happened to be the answer to all of that. I’m sorry. But I’d like to make it up to you, see if you would like to come back and work for me?”

“You think you can walk in here, apologize and that’ll fix everything? You asshole! Because of your trumped up charges of ‘stealing’, I haven’t been able to get a decent job. I had to take this humiliating job so that I can pay the bills and have food on the table. Take your apology, take your job, and shove it where the sun don’t shine, jerkoff!”

“Wait, Carlissa! I’m sorry that you had to take this crappy job, but I’m offering you a better job, more money.”

“What makes you think I would want to come back to work for you…I remember you being the biggest asshole. Has that changed any?”

“Look, I was recently in a life changing accident and I realized how I wronged you and practically everyone else. I’m sorry. I can’t take it back, but I can give you a better future. The accident has changed me and I’m not the same jackass. Come back to work for me as my personal assistant and find out for yourself.”

I watch as she thinks it over.

“You put me through hell and humiliated me.” She states angrily in my face.

“I know. I’m sorry. What can I do to make you believe me?”

I see a sly look come into her eyes.

“Walk in my shoes.”

“What?” I’m so confused – she wants me to walk in her shoes?

“Before I even think about coming back, I want you to dress up in this mouse costume and see what it was like for me to work here.”

“What….You want me to put on this mouse costume and do this for a day?”

“Yup.”

“Then you’ll come back to work for me? I think I can do that…It’s a deal.”

Boy, am I in for it. I wait for her to get out of the costume and hand it over to me. I walk into the dressing room and put on this funky smelling mouse costume. I would do anything to show her that I’m a changed man, but I hope no one recognizes me.

I walk out of the dressing room and trip right away on my own huge feet. Man, how am I going to get through this day? As I see the mad rush of kids coming towards me, I just hope I make it out alive.

The day drags by. I try to be chipper as I pat little heads and pose for pictures, over and over. Towards the end of the shift, I hear the Chucky Cheese theme song repeat for the 100th time today and I grab Carlissa’s hand to do the freaky little dance to go with it…Man she got me good with this one. What a girl…I’m glad that I have her on my side now.

As I dance with her, I look in her eyes to see if hers are the ones that invade my dreams…they’re not. Damn.

TBC….

[Island Breeze]

Well, that was an interesting start! Max with his list and trying to make amends somehow makes me think of Earl on My Name Is Earl, but of course, Earl is appeasing Karma. Max seems to be searching for a particular someone. Can't wait to see where you take it!

[tequathisy]

I love this fic, can't wait for more.

[starlescia maxwell]

Hi, the story amends is great so far, but pls post more asap, i like the way
you write,you make every one come alive,i'm reader , i do injoy reading
wonderful stories from wonderful writers, this story is like music to deaf ears, so pls keep making music and i'll keep reading and injoying my self.
starlescia maxwell