I’m not going to lie, I was afraid of this procedure, and with good reason. It SUCKED! I arrived at the oh so lovely Derry Imaging in Bedford wearing comfy clothing and my brand new front opening sports bra, in purple. I mean if you’re going to by a sports bra that you’re never going to use again so they can poke a hole in your boob, you may as well get it in your favorite color, right? Right!
Nice nurse Erika came out to get me, and she really was very very nice. She explained everything in detail. Possibly more detail than I ever wanted to know, but that’s her job and I do appreciate her thoroughness. I again, put on the oh so lovely front opening johnny and popped up on the table. Present in the room were me and my boobs, a nurse, Erika the nice nurse, and in comes the guy who was going to do the biopsy.
I casually mentioned that when I gave birth to my kids that there were so many people in the delivery room that I should have charged admission, and that night, I made a vow. If I was ever in a situation were there were two or more random people seeing parts of me I don’t generally show, they were going to fork over some cash. This is where I knew things weren’t going to be great because biopsy man looks at me and says, “Oh were you in a teaching hospital.” Dude, it was a joke, not a good joke, but a joke nonetheless. Work with me here because I am scared shitless.
They cleaned my poor boob, marked it with a sharpie and then came the first shot of lidocaine, then another, and another. After a few minutes they started the biopsy and that HURT. Newsflash, it’s not supposed to I got even more lidocaine. I don’t know why they didn’t think that my fat, dense boobs wouldn’t need extra numbing. A few minutes more and they got back to work and they took out 6 samples. It seemed excessive to me, but I’ll admit that I don’t know anything.
While the biopsy dude was doing his thing, nice nurse Erika and the other nurse (who was also quite lovely) discussed the upcoming wedding of nice nurse Erika’s daughter and how she was on the hunt for a broom for the happy couple to jump. Apparently you can get them on Amazon, so I learned something that day!
After the procedure was complete, they put what they said was a band aid on me. I asked for a smurf one, but again, nobody seems to get my humor and I got stupid steri strips that they put on so it looked like a star or snowflake. Over this, they put a plastic window with adhesive around the edges so I could make sure that I wasn’t oozing or getting infected, and then they gave me this really cute itty bitty little ice pack, some chocolate and some extra strenght tylenol and sent me on my way with instructions and a promise of a phone call the next day.
I will honestly say the pain was not that bad and the tylenol and ice pack took care of the aches I was feeling, so that was a win. I went home and climbed into bed binge watched myself some Criminal Minds and went to bed.