Friday December 30th 2022 was a perfectly beautiful day, if you like warm winter days. I was out and about running errands and enjoying the good weather. I stopped at my mailbox on the way home and had just opened the mailbox when my fitbit started vibrating with a call. I checked my wrist and ran back to the car to grab my phone because it was the nice nurse practitioner Colleen. She asked if I was home and if I were alone. I said I was just headed in the house after picking up the mail. She told that she’d call back in ten minutes, and my heart rose up in my throat. I said this isn’t good news is it and she said no. I said I’d be in the house and have a pen and paper ready in 5 minutes.
I went in the house and dumped the groceries on the table and ran up to my room and sat with my paper and pen, ready to go. Colleen called back and told me I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma which sounds absolutely horrible, but is the most common form of breast cancer. She went on to tell me that t was estrogen and progesterone positive and her-2 negative, which means nothing to me but is supposedly good news. Not gonna lie, in my mind, no cancer is GOOD news.
Anyhow, she then proceeded to give me a litany of appointments that have been scheduled for me. I guess this is nice because they are taking care of everything for me.
Appointment on January 5th for genetic testing. An appointment on the 12th for an MRI, and an appointment on the 16th with the surgeon. I hung up and was suitably freaked out. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. Did I tell twin B even though Twin A was still on her cruise? Should I cry? Should I throw things? I literally had now clue.
I told my mom who got pissed, not at me, but at the situation, and we talked about should I tell twin B. I knew I couldn’t tell twin A as she was in the middle of the ocean and why would I want to ruin her trip? Plus all she would do was stress and freak out until she got home. I did make the decision to tell twin B and sore him to secrecy. He was, of course, very upset because I am essentially my kids only parent. Long story. Short version, their dad and his family are not in their lives. We talked and processed and hugged and talked some more.
After, I told my sister, and mostly sat around going huh – I have breast cancer. It is NOT a pleasant feeling, in fact it’s probably the suckiest feeling in the history of feelings, in case you were wondering.
