Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. – George Edward Woodberry

Time for some brutal honesty here. This quote is really painful for me because it it’s so darn close to home, as in nail on head, home run close.  I was listening to a webinar on tapping, and doing some serious soul searching last week, and I came up with a realization.  I was thinking about why.  Why am I not successful in following my dreams, and why I procrastinate so much.  I am afraid to fail.  It’s the main reason I procrastinate so much.  If I delay in starting, there are no expectations, or if there are, they are pretty low, so there is little chance of failure.  I don’t know when this thought process started.  The first time I can remember REALLY procrastinating over something was junior year in high school.  That’s the big research paper year where I went to school.  I remember falling asleep over the typewriter trying to get my rough, first and last draft done.  What that means is there was no draft, there were no notes, no note cards, no outline.  I just put the paper into the typewriter and started typing.  It worked okay, I got an A, and that’s how I’ve written ever since then.  No plan no outline, I just go – with no editing after.  My procrastination has gotten worse since then.  I wait until the last second for everything – just because I don’t want to fail.  So reading this quote, it really hit home.  I talk all the time about it being okay to take a chance and not succeed, but i don’t let myself do it.  So, I’m going to try and work on this and figure a way to get over this fear I have, because it’s true, I really only fail when I don’t try.