Having Breast Cancer is Exhausting
Having breast caner is exhausting, and I haven’t even gone through any treatments yet. I realize that makes me sound completely and totally pathetic. It doesn’t change the fact that for me, it is a true statement. I literally want to sleep all day and then struggle to sleep when I finally do get to bed. All the different appointments leading up to “the big day,” are exhausting and we won’t even begin to discuss the surprise bill I got in the mail. That was also exhausting.
Today’s adventure took me down to the Lahey Clinic in Burlington. Not a far trip, but not especially close either. And unfortunately, my appointment was at 9:15 so that meant traffic no matter what route I took. So on Today’s Adventure, I arrived at the hospital, only to find out that you have to pay to park in their parking garage. I took my ticket, popped it in my pocket, parked my car and headed inside. After a few rounds of hurry up and wait, my name got called. Small aside. Having a a last name that could also be a first name is so freaking annoying because I never quite realize they mean me when they call me Ms. Tracie.
They did blood pressure, and an ekg, and then they took blood – always with the blood. Then I met with the patient coordinator and we discussed the upcoming surgery and all the minutiae that goes along with it. What to do prior to surgery, when to stop eating 🙁 when to stop certain medications prior to the start of surgery and on and on it went. Then she stopped suddenly and said we need more blood tests.
You would have thought that after the 97 million vials of blood they took here, they would have every single solitary bit of information that they would ever need to know about me blood wise. You would think that, but you would be wrong, oh so very wrong. But a huge shout out to the nice guy who did my blood draw today because not only did he manage to hit a vein on the first try, he also did again on the second blood test.
What Happened Next
What happened next is a source of pure stupidity on my part. It was finally time to leave, I went to grab my little parking ticket out of my pocket, and of course it was gone. I don’t know how I manage to function. I am such a spazz. How I’ve survived this long is a mystery to me.
I wasn’t sure what to do, so I went and asked a nice person at the information desk and he said he would meet me at the gate of the parking garage. I figured he was just going to explain to the cashier what would happen. I was willing to pay, I told them when I arrived and everything. Imagine my surprise when the nice gentleman from the information area paid for my parking. I wish I had thought to get his name, but it doesn’t matter. I’m going to mail the money down to Lahey Burlington tomorrow.
I ramble a lot, but let’s talk about the exhaustion for now. I literally have done nothing traumatic or challenging – well the breast MRI was a bit challenging, but I haven’t had surgery, I haven’t gone through radiation or chemo. All I have done is wait and go to appointment after appointment. But as the late great Tom Petty once said, The Waiting is the Hardest Part. The emotional part is simply killing me. I sit, I wait, I go to appointments and I wait. And when I wait, I wonder. I wonder if I made good choices, I wonder about if I’ll need radiation and/or chemo. I wonder about the side effects of the medications I will be on after surgery. I wonder about reconstruction. I just wonder a lot, and it is exhausting.